Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

The only problem I have with this shirt is that I’d like to see the artwork lower…like over the belly rather than the chest. That would be perfect. I think this is a really nice sentiment and makes obesity funny and light-hearted instead of all the heavy news stories about fatness causing cancer, and heart problems and all that other bullshit. Forget that. Embrace the gut with the This Ain’t a Beer Belly It’s a Fuel Tank for a Sex Machine T Shirt. Fat dudes need some action too.

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I Loved LA T Shirt

by on March 15, 2011

This is exactly what I’m talking about with Local Celebrity. They’ll take well-trodden t shirt turf and make it fresh again.

Who’s ever seen past-tense transitive pictograph verbalizations? No one. This I Loved LA T shirt is totally original stuff and I love it right now (present tense).

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Get This Shirt From Deez Teez

The thing with these aggressive, offensive t shirts is that people don’t think you’re really talking to them through the shirt. In fact, they probably imagine you are aiming this vindictive stuff at people THEY DON’T LIKE. So it makes them a little giddy to see something like this I Have Tourettes, Not Really But Fuck You Anyways T Shirt, because they think you’re sticking it to their enemies. So, you have to be patient with the people that come up to you and tell them that actually the shirt is especially for them. They’ll be taken aback and start incoherent mumblings, but they’ll get the message, and ultimately they may change their ways and become decent citizens of planet Earth.

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Another Super Mario T Shirt that includes a little word play. If you don’t know like I didn’t until I took the requisite 4.5 minutes to look it up, the gold coins some Mario Brothers business that you grab up so you can be awesome at that video game. So, you can be a hardcore gamer. Conversely, making it rain is a phrase that means bringing in the business, or getting paid the money, or making it happen on a fiscal level. You can only imagine how awesome you are if you make it hail. It’s heavier. It’s harder. It’s ice chunks from the sky.

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The suns getting all cozy with the Earth and they’re feeling all toasty and friendly and kind. Maybe Al Gore is right by maybe the law of unentended consequences is kicking in opposite of what you think. See here it is. The car was invented to conveniently and comfortably get people around without all kinds of horseshit everywhere. It was a miracle of modern technology. Little did we know that there would be so many of these damn things that is some major metropolitan areas you can’t see 30 yards in front of you because the smog is so bad. It’s getting better now because of emmissions tests and better technology, but no one thought that Henry Ford was building planetary destruction in that factory line. But, then some eco-freaks figured out the exhaust wasn’t so good. And some other greenies figured out that the pollution was doing some crazy things to the eco-system. But, what if, ultimately, it just means 3-4 degrees warmer everywhere. Less winter and more lovey dovey with the sun. Not so bad.

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“That’s the male Maria Carey yo, give it up.”

This is a little addendum to the Step Brothers movie. I think it’s in the extra footage on the DVD or maybe there was a bit in the movie. I can’t really remember. Nevertheless, it’s quite funny and you like it, and if you haven’t seen it you will like it when you press play at the bottom of this post. Then, you will go to your favorite credit card and make a strong move to purchase one or more of these Boats ‘n Hoes T Shirts.

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Diamond Burger T Shirt

by on March 14, 2011

I have no idea why, but this Diamond Burger T Shirt is very pleasing to me. I think hamburgers are an institution in this country and carry the weight of being a primary source of sustenance for like a century. Wait, how long have hamburgers in this form been around. Might need seem Googlizing.

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This shirt has the look of an old school TV being filmed by an early 90s camcorder. The TV refresh rate is imperceptible by the naked eye, but if you capture it with a camera all you see is a picture broken up with lines, as the speeds of the film and the refresh rate of the TV don’t synch, thus you capture the rapid flickering. That’s what you have here with this Stop, Collaborate & Listen T Shirt.

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This is perhaps one of the weirdest t shirt offerings I have seen in a while. The subject matter, an old school Polaroid camera spitting out a picture of a tongue, presumably its own, is whacky. And, it features like classic 80s colors, teal and pink. Maybe it’s a tongue (ha ha ha…get it) in cheek look at the 80s. Who knows. But the truth is I kind of still like this Camera Tongue T shirt. It’s nostalgic. It’s odd. It’s slightly ugly, yet still interesting in design. Really it throws me for a loop looking at it, and maybe it would knock me off balance as I’m wearing it as well, which can be a very good thing when you need a little shake up.

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Nice little shirt for the alcoholic in all of us. Whether you kick up your feet after work and have one cold one every evening, or you suck down bottles of cheap vodka in the backseat of your car in the driveway at 2 AM every night before passing out on the bathroom floor, but always getting up and at ’em and ready for work, before the kids get up, so there isn’t an embarrassing scene.

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Organ Donor T Shirt

by on March 12, 2011

This shirt is visually interesting. There’s nothing as complex is the human organ system. Yet, they always say that if you are an expert in your subject matter, you can distill it down to the essentials, which are digestable by the common lay person. I think the designer of this Organ Donor T shirt has really put in the time to understand the human body. Maybe they have a doctorate in physiology or biology or perhaps even an MD. But, you say it’s just super simpe shapes representing the organs inside the human, placed relatively correctly.

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The caption below the frame art piece on this black shirt says “A black cat eating licorice at midnight.” So, without the aid of a flame or light you really can’t see the cat or the licorice (guess we’re talking black licorice…maybe someone spilled a small pile of those addicting Panda licorice chunks on the porch, and the cat found them, and has a strange prediliction for anise seed or fennel or whatever the prominent flavor in black licorice is…I get those two mixed up…whatever the case it is not some crappy Twizzler or Red Vine, because you would see that on this shirt, and that’s not happening).

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