Sex T Shirts

Sex T Shirts are those featuring innuendo, straight up sex talk, and any of the sex positions. Also, boobies figure prominently in this section.

nature is a milf t shirt Nature Is a MILF T Shirt

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This design makes me think of The Beatles’ song, Mother Nature’s Son, except then we’re talking an Oedipus situation, which might be a little too much to wear on your chest.

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she wants the d t shirt She Wants The D T Shirt

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Ah, so sweet. A D note on the piano that stands for dick. And when you put it all together: “She Wants the Dick.” It’s nice, as a man, to have someone that wants the D. It feels nice to be wanted in that way. At least, that’s what I ascertain from the different late night TV sitcoms that I watch on a regular basis.

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mustache rides t shirt Moustache Rides T Shirt

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Ah, look how cute this is. All the little kids can get moustache rides, and the better the moustache the more expensive the ride. Forget little horses or circus animals or rocket ships. Let’s put moustache rides outside of every Wal-Mart for the children.

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master chief teabagger t shirt Masterchief Teabagger T Shirt

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Ah, the Teabagging in Halo. Such an odd phenomenon. The dudes that thought it was hilarious, while playing the game and watching the viral teabagging Youtube videos, decided it was appropriate to perform this move on their buddies. So, even in the most homophobic homes, there are boys rubbing their genitals on other boys.

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stalactites stalagmites masturbating hobo t shirt Stalactites, Stalagmites, Masturbating Hobo T Shirt

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Two good things about this shirt. I never remember which is which in terms of the stalactites and stalagmites, and when I find my self in caves with smart people, I feel like a total doofus. No more. I’ll just look at this shirt and be fine. Also, this is super funny. Outta nowhere in this cave with the gorgeous rock formations you have a hobo jerking off. The humanity of this is amusing. Isn’t that how it always is?

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i fucked the girl in hanson t shirt I Fucked The Girl In Hanson T Shirt

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This might be the greatest t-shirt design in the history of funny tees. No joke. This gets me everytime I see it. Of course, I think I had more standards back in the day, and decided it was a little too vulgar for my audience, but with FICA going up, and everyone in government and bicycle racing on the take or juice or both, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and let it all hang out.

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taylor swift wrote a song about my dick t shirt Taylor Swift Wrote a Song About My Dick T Shirt

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And she hasn’t even seen it. It’s something she’s just heard about within her circle of friends, which includes Hollywood starlets and fellow lovely singers, and models. And all the other super rich, super hot women you can think of. Now, don’t get me wrong…I haven’t been with all of them. Just a few…dozen in fact, but news travels fast with the rich vixens because if you think about it, between the kick boxing class in the morning, the 8-ball in the afternoon, and the mani-pedi at 4 pm, there isn’t a whole helluva lot to do except gab with rich girlfriends.

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we have so much chemistry together t shirt We Have So Much Chemistry Together T Shirt

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Ah. Look at the beaker and the flask. So young. So in love. The chemistry is palpable. Let’s just hope that some stupid drunk high schooler doesn’t drop one of these fine pieces of glassware while ogling the goth chick sitting in the corner looking above it all. That would just be a crushing blow to this torrid affair.

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We Have a Winner T Shirt

by on January 13, 2013

we have a winner t shirt We Have a Winner T Shirt

Get this Shirt From Red Bubble

This is a great design. I’ve seen other shirts with a same sperm and egg concept, but the fact that this looks like a real microscopic photograph just adds an element of awe and wonder to this one. The goof ball font is a nice touch, and, of course, the copy is solid.

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get your tits out t shirt Get Your Tits Out T Shirt

Get This Shirt from Red Bubble

First thing to mention here is that I think it’s funny that Red Bubble has a safe filter for adult-themed images and this one isn’t filtered. Is that the power of covering the nipple? Anyways, I’m also interested in whether or not this is the way people in England say “show us your tits,” which is the phrasing most used in the United States, especially in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Whatever the case, it’s a nice design. I love the word tits, and please don’t where this around children.

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expose yourself to other cultures t shirt Expose Yourself to Other Cultures T Shirt

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Man, that’s a rainbow coalition of hot broads right there. Old white dude in a the trench coat doesn’t have much game left, so he thought maybe a bold move like flashing this lovely group of ladies would be his only chance. Didn’t work, but I guess he has a story to tell in the right company.

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Makin Bacon T Shirt

by on January 2, 2013

makin bacon t shirt Makin Bacon T Shirt

Get This Shirt from Snorg Tees

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself, “I really need a t-shirt to wear tonight that features pigs humping. Well, I for one, will not be thinking that any more, because this design more than fulfills my needs. I mean in case the squares wonder why there are two pigs going at it on your shirt, you have the text that reads makin’ bacon, which more than explains what’s going on here without you having to say a word. Did you notice it rhymes too?

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