Deez Teez: No matter how you spell it with two z’s, Deez Tees, or even Dees Teez

Deez Teez: Recently upped their game with a slick website and a ton of officially licensed shirts from all your favorite pop culture.

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I like this shirt, except I think what you’re supposed to think is that this is an astronaut and he’s up in space and he sees Space Invaders. Or maybe it’s an astronaut in a rocket ship, who is killing some time between weightless bowel movements and breakfast orange juice hilarity, by playing an old school video game. Just kidding astronauts do all sorts of work on their way into space. They tend to plants tinker with controls, and hop out the ship and make minor repairs to major satellites, but you gotta think they get a couple minutes free time also. Right?

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Man, this is a beautiful shirt. Just makes me smile, because that movie is so good. So funny. Smoking, drinking, hanging out. Couple of guys enjoying themselves at the bowling alley.

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My only question is…did this beer cup dude think he was going to make it through 99 bottles of beer. Like he told all his buddies, if you all chip in I will totally drink 99 beers tonight. His buddies agreed and started some wagers on the side. Most of them involved how beers he would get through before he puked, and puking was an automatic disqualification.

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You cannot disagree that the dog, Brian Griffin, from the Family Guy has game. Look at the way he holds the martini, and he’s funny and that’s why we can all just laugh at him farting himself awake, yet still have to give him the respect he deserves.

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This is funny. The fine print says “shoot the first one and the word will spread,” meaning shoot the first daughter that comes of dating age and the message will spread to the rest of the daughters that they probably shouldn’t date until they’re over 41 years old.

Read more on (D.A.D.D.) Dad’s Against Daughters Dating T Shirt from Deez Teez…

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It’s probably best not to speak when you get pulled over for a field sobriety test. Though it probably doesn’t matter when you blow a .16. However, when you’re at the bar or party, this I Swear to Drunk I’m Not God T Shirt will work just fine as a humorous little ice breaker, and that’s exactly what it’s intended to be. Plus, people with Messiah complexes are not fun to be around, so this tee from Deez Teez, tells people you are not under any illusions about being God or his one and only son Jesus. That’s a bonus.

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Man that’s a hot woman partying naked right here. Looks like she may beyond coherent thought though. Probably wouldn’t have the party hat askew and hair over her eyes and the beer spilling out of the body if she even had half her faculties about her. That’s why you can party with this person, but that’s it. No taking advantage. Just a little advice. Get this Shit Happens When You Party Naked T Shirt as kind of a guide to your weekend adventure. A do’s and dont’s sort of cheat sheet. It may be tempting to make a move but I advice that you do not.

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It’s always good to have clear intentions. If you do not have clear intentions things get muddled, and oftentimes you go through life in a half-assed way. This I’m Not Irish But I’m Hoping to Get Lucky T Shirt is full of clear intentions and honesty. It’s like…look…I know the Irish are the stars in March, but I’m not Irish. However, I am hoping to get laid tonight anyway, so can you accommodate me on that?

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Pretty solid St. Patty’s Day tee right here. It’s assumed that all Irish people drink heavily, which isn’t totally true. There are 7% of the Irish people throughout the world that actually consume less than 8 drinks per day. So, technically, this Irish Today Hungover Tomorrow T Shirt should have asterisks and stuff with messaging that makes this clear.

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I’ll tell ya. Normally, make me a sandwich is a misogynistic saying. Perhaps even a meme of chauvenism. But, when you put the BLT into a schematic with the exact instructions, then the sentiment shifts. Women, do sometimes want to make their man a sandwich, and it’s a kind and direct gesture that can be perceived loving, if you tell them exactly how you like it…the sandwich that is.

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Zing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yee-ouch. Somebody is saying something to you that holds no interest for you, then you just point to this Attempting to Care T Shirt, and they’ll know that you do not care at all. I mean it says infinity time remaining. That bar is not even a third of the way to caring. That things just gonna spin and spin and you’re probably just going to walk away as boring person is mid-sentence.

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This is a great shirt from Deez Teez. Are you kidding me? The detail on the tickets. The Hawaiian shirt pocket. Flying out of JFK to get to paradise. Perfect. That’s why the next time you’re ready to go on an exotic vacation, like I know you do 2 or 3 times a year, you’ll be wearing this Two Tickets to Paradise T Shirt.

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