February 2011

This shirt is just an excuse to get those hotties in lab coats on your chest. The wordplay is a bit of a stretch. It’s not tight. Chemists do it on the table…what the lab table…the place with all of those beakers and test tubes and bunson burners and acid that will melt your face. Gonna do it there with these two spectacularly hot Swedish babes with the cleavage. I don’t think so. Chemistry labs are serious place with serious work being done. There should be no fornication on the stainless steel tables. Yes, I know I’m skipping the most important of the wordplay: periodically. But, that’s just an after thought to me. The threesome in the lab has already happened, so now you’re trying to tie the joke up in a nice little bow. Too late.

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Ahhhh. This isn’t funny. This is sad. That poor pig pinata is being abused. Some blindfolded kid is swinging a bat at him just as this picture is taken. I mean obviously this isn’t a picture, but it’s an artist’s rendering of the photograph that captured this fearful moment. Talk about child abuse this is it. Those children really are abusing the poor animal…and guess what: they’re going to be rewarded for it. Candy and little bits of plastic schwag for hitting the mark and busting that pig open.

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This is a highly charged political statement dressed up as a benign little spinner game of chance. It’s like a twister spinner, or some other game with colorful pieces a child would play, except that there are countries with real people, real lives, and a real aversion to having the United States insert “democracy” into their behinds in the name of “freedom.”

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What we have here is a thinking person’s wordplay shirt. And a good one at that. Not sure why our humanitarian is some fuzzy, one-eyed beastasaur, nor why our soon to be victim is eating some kind of nasty boiled spinach, but the message is still there and it’s still funny.

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Poker Hands T Shirt

by on February 7, 2011

Hey poker’s been going strong for like 10 years now, but there’s always room for a newbie or a noob as we veterans of the poker wars like to call ’em. And, if you are a noob, you need to understand the game and the best way to start that understanding is to know the hands and their relative value. And, of course, the best way to know the hands is to have this Poker Hands T Shirt, which lists them all in order.

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Everybody is playing the game whether they know it or not. If you think about The Game, you lose the game. Loss is not forever, only until you forget about the game. The ultimate objective of this game is to forget you ever heard about it…forget that exists. That’s going to be hard when you buy the You Just Lost The Game T Shirt. Of course, maybe when you get this shirt from Snorg Tees you’ve embraced the fact that you will never forget The Game, and now you’re dragging other people down with you. Or, maybe you’re just trying to get other people to accept their fate: losers of the game.

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Very nice little bit of wordplay going on right her. Jay-Z got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one in his tune 99 problems. Now, you tweak that up with a comedy mind, and all of a sudden you had a perfect 100 donuts, but then some bitch ate one.

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This is a very important shirt to get in front of as many people as possible, because what you have here is the cutest animal in existence…the panda. You just want to cuddle, hug, pet, and wrestle these fluffy things, but, unfortunately, they’re very dangerous because they’re bears. So, you start to have your fun and all of a sudden your face is ripped off, and you are so shocked you can’t even scream as the cute little schnoogms pulls your left arm off. Yes, I’m getting graphic and gruesome here to prove a point.

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Not sure where this one is exactly coming from, but it could be funny in the right context. First, girlfriends that have had a nasty fight. Boom. When you are ready to let bygones be bygones, pull on this Let’s Hug It Out Bitch T Shirt and meet them some place. It’s like taking the temperature of the other person. If they’re still really pissed they’re not going to like it and will probably throw a drink in your face, but that would probably happen anyway. If they’re sort of pissed, this shirt will probably break through and make them smile and pave the way for reconciliation. If they’re not pissed you’ll have a really good laugh, and certainly will hug it out and all will be right with the world.

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My thought is who cares about the Super Bowl, let’s do a shirt that has a little wordplay involving beer and baseball. Actually, I don’t care about the baseball either, but that really doesn’t matter either. Everybody knows what a relief pitcher is and everybody has been at the bar and needed another pitcher, so this Bring in the Relief Pitcher T Shirt is very relevant, and I’m sure much in demand.

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This is a funny shirt. First of all, 2012 looks like it’s going out with a bang, but that doesn’t even have the elegance and grace of a mushroom cloud. It’s more percussive and violent and ugly. Not sure why people are all standing around at Ground Zero on this bombing. Or maybe it’s New Year’s Eve and the Big Apple drops and bango, it’s the end of the East coast and that triggers more explosives across the country and then the world and it’s all gone. I was figuring on a more subtle sort of financial meltdown, where it slowly begins to dawn on people that Wall Street has completely destroyed everything and that the government was complicit, not putting anyone in jail, not hanging any of the dirty thieves from lamp posts, not burying Ben Bernanke alive up to his neck and slathering honey on his face.

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This is the other shirt in the two shirt series commemorating that cinematic masterpiece Dude Where’s My Car. If you missed yesterday’s installment, this is the tattoo Seann (really…two n’s) William Scott gets playing Chester Greenburg in the movie. I actually have not seen this film…I know, I know…inexcusable and shame on me. It won’t happen again, but how do they go into a tattoo shop and not know what they are getting? Must have been some crazy hijinx because that’s what always happens in those two stupid buddy movies. Right?

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