Deez Teez: No matter how you spell it with two z’s, Deez Tees, or even Dees Teez

Deez Teez: Recently upped their game with a slick website and a ton of officially licensed shirts from all your favorite pop culture.

There’s a spectacular deleted scene from Step Brothers. Rob Riggle as Randy drops a masterful performance telling Will Ferrell as Brennan that he has to make the Catalina Wine Mixer go off without a hitch. That he needs big veiny, hairy balls to make it happen, and that he’s going to be in his jock strap making sure he’s making it happen, and if he doesn’t make it happen he’s gone. Of course, he’s having a heart attack as he’s telling him this.

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This wolf shirt thing is definitely an Internet meme propelled by the one man wolfpack scene in The Hangover. It’s very ironic, because no one really likes wolf shirts and turquoise jewelry, and dream catchers. Right?

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I’m bringing up these old school designs, because I’m just now digging through the Deez Teez catalog and they do a good job with some of the classics. Take, for instance, the One Man Wolfpack T Shirt. Obviously, this references the wicked funny scene where Zach Galifianakis, as Alan Garner, gives a little speech on top of a Vegas hotel about being a team and having a night to remember. This is where he spikes the drinks, and cuts his hand in a blood-brother ritual which doesn’t really get any buy in. It’s good stuff.

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Ouch that’s a rough thing to walk in on, especially when you have actually taken the time out of your busy schedule to buy flowers for your lover. Boom, you walk in on her in bed with a red M&M. Horrible. And, Ms. Pacman’s bra is thrown on the bed and there’s a banana and cherries, which are very suggestive of a cock and balls. And, the whole scene is just awful for Pacman.

Read more on Ms. Pacman Caught Cheating Game Over T Shirt…

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This is a lovely little variation on the I’m on a boat shirt theme. Of course, this was the Saturday Night Live Lonely Island send up about being on a boat and it’s spectacular. More Autotune courtesy of T Pain. And, the quote of the song has to be “I got my swim trunks and my flippie-floppies” which just so happens to be printed on the shirt as well. Basically, you get everything you need to have the best I’m On a Boat T Shirt experience, right here from this offering from Deez Teez. Can you dig?

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It’s a Spoonerism. I don’t have any idea who that is, except that apparently he cataloged comical verbal mix-ups. Read the book Smart Feller Fart Smeller.  Better yet, you’re here for funny t shirts, so how about you pick up the I’m a Smart Feller and You’re a Fart Smeller T Shirt.

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Ed Douchebag T Shirt

by on January 5, 2011

So, this dude graduates from art school in San Francisco then gets interested in tattooing. So, he goes to Japan and learns the craft from some world-renowned tattoo artist. Then he comes back to the U.S. And plys his craft, and he’s popular and it expands into books, and then a clothing line…and that line is the Ed Hardy clothing line. Sounds like pretty real deal credibility, except that I think from the point of tattoo artist to clothier, Ed sold out. His shit just ain’t that interesting. Do you think so?

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Kind of a sneaky thing going on here. From a distance it just looks like you love all of humanity. Anybody that comes into your general vicinity is someone you love because it says so on your shirt. Of course, if they take a closer look they may not feel so great about the direction the population on Earth is taking.

Read more on I Really Just Want to Have Sex With You T Shirt…

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Teiam Player T Shirt

by on January 5, 2011

This is the one to where to practice if your coach regularly busts out the trite bullshit when trying to motivate your club. The no “I” in team thing is played out. He’ll totally get a kick out of this shirt, especially if, and I’m assuming you’re a basketball player here, you go ahead and pull an Allen Iverson, and never pass the ball. Every time you touch it it’s goin’ up. If the coach looks at you sideways, point at the shirt and keep up the good work. What can he say? Really! You have the Teiam Player T Shirt, where there is an “I” in team and he cannot do anything about it because his motivational skills ain’t even close to “The Gipper” or Lombardi. More like weak sauce if you ask me and Deez Teez.

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Damn…highway patrol. Get out of my face. I’m in a race. I hit 80 MPH and now you’re all over me and I’m falling behind. Where did you come from? I’ve never seen you before. Oh, and an extra fine for the turtle shell. I can’t even believe this. Is this really happening?

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Hey, who’s your daddy? Good little bit of play on words going on here. In other words….wordplay. Darth Vader asking Luke Skywalker in a more urban language type of way if he knows who his daddy is. Almost a rhetorical question, because if you’ve seen this Star Wars thing you know Darth is the man that produced the seed to create the Luke and twin sister Leia. But, it’s a movie, and it needs some dramatic tension, so Luke has to play along with the whole, who’s your daddy routine for a while. Annakin Skywalker…Luke Skywalker…get it…geez.

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It all starts with belief in yourself. You have to believe that when you start to imbibe the beers, the shots, and the glasses of wine that you are becoming awesome and that everybody wants to be around you as you become awesome. So what if you throw up in the backseat of someone’s car…they still want to be around you because you’re awesome.

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