Hey you know you love the Simpsons. You know you love baseball. You know you love Springfield. You know you love the AA baseball team from Springfield as seen on the Simpsons. With all of that love there is no way you’re going to be able to keep yourself from purchasing the Springfield Isotopes T Shirt.

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This is a nice shirt to wear to work or that church service your mom guilted you into going to. Or that 200 level poly sci class, or, hell, how about that early morning fishing trip with gramps. Turns the I’d Rather Be Fishing on its head. Awesome.

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This is funny. Not sure where they’re coming from…like what they assume the wearer of this shirt is doing, while having to assure the person in his vicinity that he is very funny thus the person in question can let down their guard. Since this is a T-Shirt Hell offering you can assume the worse, but I’m not really even going to get into that.

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The cabbage is mad and the tomato is sweating it out looking a little sad and unhappy that the cutting board is his fate. Of course, being from Milwaukee, I’m a little sensitive to the whole eating people thing because of that Jeffrey Dahmer deal about 20 years ago. Can you believe that dude had a 13-year run of killing, necrophilia and cannibalism. He got his at the correctional institute where he was beaten to death, but back to the Vegetables Have Feelings too Eat People T Shirt.

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Don’t mess with DNA or stem cells or whatever, because there is always unintended consequences when you play God. Hell, God probably looks at the world as it is now and scratches his head and says how the hell did that happen. He sees the neverending war in Iraq, ethnic cleansing in Darfur, Justin Bieber going platinum, and Sarah Palin selling books, and just shakes his head.

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Well, I gave you the image with the model on it, because I preferred that one because she’s cute and I can always let you know what the shirt says, in fact, that’s just what I’ll do:

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You know what’s going on here. Homer’s Barbershop Quartet that actually sounds pretty good had a hit in 1985, then got back together to perform on the roof of Moe’s Tavern. The Quartet includes Principal Skinner, Barney Gumble, and Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

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Who gives a shit? Am I right? Anybody should be allowed to marry anybody. Who cares? Let gays be as miserable as the rest of the heterosexual population. It degrades the institution of marriage. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bullshit. Let’s see where are we at with that sacred institution? Anybody see The Hangover, where the dentist dude married a hooker at a 24/7 marriage chapel. Yeah. Sacred. Anybody see Carmen Electra’s marriage record. Dennis Rodman for like 15 minutes. Godly. You have a better chance of divorce than staying together when you get married. Soon, it will be like newsworthy remarkable when anyone gets to a full decade of marriage. Sacred institute. People marrying for green cards. Hotties marrying guys with one foot in the grave for that sweet inheritance. Sacred.

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From that highly acclaimed TV show, The Wire. Thomas Carcetti first showed up in Season 3, was very ambitious, had some serious connections, and by the time it was all said and done, he was Governor of Maryland. The deal is that it was totally interesting to see how the politics work and how someone can rise in the ranks.

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Wordplay with math. It’s a super double bonus just for you, because you know that if you’re a math nerd, specializing in the geometry that this Without Geometry Life is Pointless T Shirt makes you swoon.

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Not sure if this shirt is related to any sort of pop culture phenomenon or if it came straight out of the beautiful minds working at Snorg Tees. Do you know? Yeah, you, the person reading this. You are reading this aren’t you?

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Nice little twist on the an apple a day will keep the doctor away. It’s going to go in the wordplay category, though really it’s more twisting a trite old saying around. I don’t have a category for that, so we’ll stick with the wordplay category.

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