January 2011

It’s a Spoonerism. I don’t have any idea who that is, except that apparently he cataloged comical verbal mix-ups. Read the book Smart Feller Fart Smeller.  Better yet, you’re here for funny t shirts, so how about you pick up the I’m a Smart Feller and You’re a Fart Smeller T Shirt.

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Ed Douchebag T Shirt

by on January 5, 2011

So, this dude graduates from art school in San Francisco then gets interested in tattooing. So, he goes to Japan and learns the craft from some world-renowned tattoo artist. Then he comes back to the U.S. And plys his craft, and he’s popular and it expands into books, and then a clothing line…and that line is the Ed Hardy clothing line. Sounds like pretty real deal credibility, except that I think from the point of tattoo artist to clothier, Ed sold out. His shit just ain’t that interesting. Do you think so?

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Kind of a sneaky thing going on here. From a distance it just looks like you love all of humanity. Anybody that comes into your general vicinity is someone you love because it says so on your shirt. Of course, if they take a closer look they may not feel so great about the direction the population on Earth is taking.

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Teiam Player T Shirt

by on January 5, 2011

This is the one to where to practice if your coach regularly busts out the trite bullshit when trying to motivate your club. The no “I” in team thing is played out. He’ll totally get a kick out of this shirt, especially if, and I’m assuming you’re a basketball player here, you go ahead and pull an Allen Iverson, and never pass the ball. Every time you touch it it’s goin’ up. If the coach looks at you sideways, point at the shirt and keep up the good work. What can he say? Really! You have the Teiam Player T Shirt, where there is an “I” in team and he cannot do anything about it because his motivational skills ain’t even close to “The Gipper” or Lombardi. More like weak sauce if you ask me and Deez Teez.

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Cable has Standards and Practices and there’s a two inch binder of restrictions. Slang terms for the male genitals. Penis, Sir dangles, manaconda, bananamal, the one-legged pigeon, the super soaker. And for breasts: bazangas, habbada habbadas, mahoba hobawitzes, oompa loompas, scoliosis twins. And sexual positions slang: taking grandma to Applebees, decorating the lady cake, Tokyo sandblaster.

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Does anybody have any idea what’s going on here? Conan O’Brien has a new show. Conan has used social media very well to boost the buzz around his new show. Conan has a Twitter account. So, let’s create a shirt that has a Twitter bird with the orangish red hair and a orangish red beak that sort of looks like an orangy red beard in the right light.

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Here’s another one of these Conan O’Brien shirts with the logo to the himself brand that he now promotes with vim and vigor to spite Jay Leno and NBC, and all the blue hairs that sided with Jay. I actually never gave a shit either way about the Tonight Show and what was going on there, but it would do me great honor, if you’re a fan of Conan, to buy this Ginger Hair Conan Logo T Shirt right now. Heck, even if you hate him, you can buy the shirt and burn it, which is like burning him in effigy because his entire essence, which is the swooping red hair, is on the shirt.

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Apparently Busted Tees and Team Coconan have joined forces to deliver you the ultimate Conan Schwag. This shirt is the Team Coco Logo T Shirt, and if you’re such retard fan of Conan O’Brien that you need to have his ginger hair on your chest, then I’ve just done you the biggest favor of the year. Ha Ha. Get it. Of the year…which is only five days old. It’s one of those see you next year jokes. Did you love? Can you feel it? Am I right?

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Damn…highway patrol. Get out of my face. I’m in a race. I hit 80 MPH and now you’re all over me and I’m falling behind. Where did you come from? I’ve never seen you before. Oh, and an extra fine for the turtle shell. I can’t even believe this. Is this really happening?

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Hey, who’s your daddy? Good little bit of play on words going on here. In other words….wordplay. Darth Vader asking Luke Skywalker in a more urban language type of way if he knows who his daddy is. Almost a rhetorical question, because if you’ve seen this Star Wars thing you know Darth is the man that produced the seed to create the Luke and twin sister Leia. But, it’s a movie, and it needs some dramatic tension, so Luke has to play along with the whole, who’s your daddy routine for a while. Annakin Skywalker…Luke Skywalker…get it…geez.

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If you have seen the show, Arrested Development, with Will Arnett starring as Gob Bluth, then you know what’s going on with this pill bottle. Gob does magic badly. He rides a Segway and he says Come on a lot. What’s not to like about the dude? Plus, he was a major star on the best show to ever get canceled way before its time: Arrested Development.

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Yep, attention deficit disorder and multitasking are pretty much the same thing and pretty much result in the same tangled mess and half ass work, broken dreams, and forgotten promises. Go from Ritalin, to Pabst, to whiskey, to heroin, to dead. I’ve seen it too many times and it is too sad. Stop trying to do more than one thing at a time. Stop dividing your attention. FOCUS like the Ford.

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