November 2010

They always say that sharks are misunderstood and I never really understood that sentiment. I thought it was pretty easy to understand when they were venturing into three feet of water and biting human bathers arms off. They’re vicious killers that need to eat meat, and if food is scarce they’ll go get an arm or leg off a surfer or even a timid surf dipper. Did we not learn anything from Jaws?

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I love this kind of shirt, because I know that it is funny to my geeky science brethren and because it forces me to learn something about a subject I know jack squat about. So, here I go to Wikipedia for my 32 second precipitate lesson.

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Hey, if you’re struggling to find the perfect gift for that certain someone, you’ll need to head over to Headline Shirts and take their little gift quiz. They ask a few questions about the person you’re buying for and in the end come up with creepy accurate suggestions for them. Try it now.

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Classic scene in a classic movie. Cary Grant’s character is being chased by a crop duster out in the middle of nowhere. He tries to flag down a car going down a deserted highway. No luck. He dives behind berms of dirt and rocks as the plane does a fly by shooting at him. This is not a good situation for Roger O. Thornhill. Pretty cool movie by Alfred Hitchcock and a great scene.

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Well, not sure Wikipedia founder, Jimmy Wales, would appreciate this statement but he’s too busy making personal appeals for donations to keep the online encyclopedia going that he probably won’t notice a little fun at his brain child’s expense.

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Meh T Shirt

by on November 29, 2010

The ultimate shirt of indifference. Wear this to the Christmas feast at your in-laws. Despite the family folklore, the sweet potato pie really isn’t as mind-blowingly spectacular as they say it is. And, Uncle Jimmy isn’t nearly as funny as people claim. It’s a big meh to them all. Now, sister-in-law Julie is a different story…she’s as beautiful as they all say she is. Wait, did I just type that out loud. Let’s stick with unimpressed Meh T Shirt and forget I said that other bit about the hot sister. Seriously. This could ruin my marriage, and I’m already in meh status with the Mrs.

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Hey, they have a limited time offer over at Snorg Tees. Free Shipping on orders of $60 or more. I guess you can read the banner and don’t need me to tell you this. And, I’m actually of no use telling you when these deal ends, because I have no idea. Where are my sources giving me the scoop on this dammit? Whatever…basically, buy yourself, your girlfriend, and your dog a t shirt for Xmas and you’ll get the free shipping. That’s pretty good deal.

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This shirt is so well designed it just looks natural like that deer in the orange safety hunting gear and strapped with a rifle is just the way it should be. The deer looks great. Of course, I’m wondering what kind of gun that is with the banana clip. I don’t really know anything about guns, but I think that banana clips aren’t generally on hunting rifles.

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From the Department of Defense to the good people back home. The troops ———————- are ———————- having —————————- a ————————– blast ————————— here ——————————–. They left a couple of inconsequential words out like: “this place is hell,” “not enough armor on our Hummers,” and “what the fuck are we doing here?” This “slightly” edited version gives a good idea of what’s going on in Iraq and Afghanistan without bogging them down in confusing details.

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This is just a heads up. Busted Tees is running another deal, this time for Cyber Monday, which is the Internet’s version of Black Friday. They actually have tiered savings according to what time you shop for your funny t shirts.

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Sad Rhino T Shirt

by on November 28, 2010

This poor rhinoceros was just playing with a  beach ball out on the Serengeti Plains in Tanzania when the inevitable happened. He popped the ball with his big scary tusk. Bummer. He had scene the seals off the coast in the Indian Ocean on that family migratory vacation a couple of summers back, and he’d always wanted to try it himself. When the ball fell out of the sky, like the bottle in The Gods Must Be Crazy, he thought it was a sign that ball tricks were to be his life’s work.

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So you poured through the periodic tables and did not find this element. You say you looked closely for an hour checking off each one as you went, and still did not see Adamantium. In fact, you risk severe punishment and displeasure from your chemistry teacher because you actually marked up her colorful Periodic Table Chart that she hangs on the wall in front of her room…and still you could not find it.

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