Headline Shirts is wildly awesome

Headline Shirts is the best in the business at delivering absurd, entertaining and hilarious tees. You definitely want to check out these reviews.

Or you might want to take a look at the top 22 Headline Shirts according to me.

I’m on a boat!!!!!!!!!!!! But, the water, the bikinis, the meals with captain do not appeal to me. Read this I’m Just Here for the Booze T Shirt and understand why I’ve agreed to hanging with 326 people over the age of 55. It’s the booze. Now, get me a Skinny Pirate and shut up.

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I count 18 shirts on sale at Headline Shirts right now. They’re calling it a Halloween Sale, so I believe you’ll need to jump on this deal very soon.

Take advantage of the Horrifically Amusing Halloween Sale.

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I like this a lot. This vampire looks to the positive and never drops his head. So what if he can’t ever see sunlight, and he winds up killing everybody he loves. There are still great things about the life of a vampire, like you have really long and pointy canines. And super greasy hair. I mean so greasy it’s cool. Plus, let’s not forget you can turn into a bat.

Read more on Optimistic Vampire A Glass of Blood Half Full T Shirt…

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Gandhi Says Relax T Shirt

by on October 13, 2011

I have no idea what to write about this Gandhi Says Relax T Shirt. Here’s why. I’ve seen it before. In fact, Headline Shirtshad this shirt before, except that Gandhi’s head was in the “A”, and it was red lettering on a white tee. My how things have changed. What’s next, Cold War Vet on green. Jeezus. I need a minute to take all of this in and process it.

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This is a little twist to the old school intermission animation played in theaters in the 1950s: “Let’s all go to the lobby to ourselves a treat.”

Headline Shirts freshened it up a bit and is now celebrating the art of partying and the appropriate accoutrements, including cigarettes, 40 Ouncers, and, of course, a bag of weed. Please note the red cross. It’s medical grade. Someone has a condition. Those items are indeed the building blocks of a fine shindig, and you’d be wise to secure them for your next get together. Bonus points if you wear the Let’s All Go To the Party T Shirt as you’re providing the party with its lifeblood.

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98 Percent Monkey T Shirt

by on September 29, 2011

Fact: This monkey looks cool. Fact: the pen, the tie, the glasses, and the button down shirt make this monkey look hard working and respectable. Fact: that monkey just threw shit at the FedEx dude. Fact: no matter how business casual you dress a monkey, you still should never let them loose in an office.

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Jesus QR Bar Code T Shirt

by on September 14, 2011

Can this really be somebody’s QR Bar Code? Please. I love Jesus. He needs to be everywhere. In fact, I have him on top of my pen. It’s a Jesus pen topper and it gives me strength when I write important notes to my mother, such as “Sorry for forgetting to take out the trash. It’s gone now, and the maggot situation is under control…I think.”

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Apparently, General Douglas MacArthur returned from somewhere with his crew. And his pants were rolled up and he had a surfboard. The waves in the Phillipines were pretty sweet, and since he’d come all that way to do battle, he didn’t want to waste an opportunity to catch a few waves after the fighting bullshit was over.

Read more on Battle of Leyte General Macarthur Returns With a Surfboard T Shirt…

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This sloth is hanging in that tree and moving slow and keepin’ it real. He’ll get where he needs to be. Could take 37 hours but that’s okay because he’s a sloth. For some reason I have a hard time comprehending that there are female sloths though I’m pretty sure they exist. I’m not going to do any background research to figure out for sure, but if I was a betting man, and I am, $50 says there are female sloths.

Read more on Sloth Hang In There T Shirt…

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Hey when you bring a gun to a thumb wrestling championship it’s against the rules, except there are a few loopholes in the rules as you can imagine, since the Thumb Wrestling Federation probably wasn’t that thorough in their development of the rulebook, and they probably didn’t have an attorney specializing in sports comb through and add the requisite thou’s and thus’s and heretofore’s. I’ll even bet a dollar they didn’t have a professional proofreader go over it for grammar and consistency and all the things that spectacular proofers do that I don’t even know about. BTW, if you need a magnificent proofer I know the best. Let me know.

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Hey, if you’re going to hire a skywriting plane you might as well get your money’s worth. Screw cute little love you or will you marry me messages. That kind of hogwash fades quicker than a teenager’s attention span. If you really want bang for your buck write something in the sky that will resonate deeply and last a lifetime. This It’s Not Me, It’s You T Shirt is a perfect example.

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I want to wear this That’s a Terrible Idea T Shirt during the next meeting I have sitting across the table from that certain someone, who seems to have more than her share. I also want to wear it to an “organic” brainstorming sesh, including whiteboard, inspirational videos, handouts, and a hired facilitator.

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