This is funny. Someone got all done up for Easter Sunday, and the puritanical stick in the mud with no flava tells her she looks like a hussy. That’s a life defining moment. Either she stands up and tells the white egg off and walks out never to be seen again. Or she wilts, crys, smears the coloring, and becomes a beaten person with barely registering life force. I’m anxious to see what happens, except that this You Look Like a Hussy T Shirt is a snap shot in time, and doesn’t tell the entire narrative.

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I think this wordplay humor may be a little too sophisticated even for my super sophisticated sense of the comedic. Do writers do it literally, because they type the word on the page? Or is it supposed to be literarily. Or hell I don’t even know, but that’s why I like Writers Do It Literally T Shirt. It may very well make no sense, or it may make all the sense in the world after six years of wash and wear, like one sunny Saturday afternoon you’re just sitting there in the middle of the yard with a dandelion stuck in your nose, and boom, the brilliance of Snorg Tees hits you in that moment.

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This poor little piggy has been so traumatized on the farm by this chicken hawk, bird of prey, evil cardinal, I don’t even know what…but the family is shelling out like $95 a session to get that pigs head back on straight. And, he’s having a tough time laying on the couch, recounting his fears and experiences, cry like a baby, all the while this Freud dude is cooly taking notes and asking probing questions.

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This polar bear is enjoying a cheese burger if I’m not mistaken and that makes him an omnivore, because that’s both meat and vegetable going on right there. Of course, this I’m An Om Nom Nom Ivore T Shirt has a second layer and that’s the whole nom nom nom phenomenon that is supposed to represent eating vigorously with much gusto. It certainly fits in this instance, because that burger is damn tasty even if his mom made it.

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Just so you know 8008135 looks like boobies on a calculator on in the time machine control panel. Very funny. You have the Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine and they’re punching in the numbers, except that instead of a normal destination date they punch in the old digital numbers boobies trick. That’s very nice and you know it, which is why you are so tempted to just say F It and by this Back to the 8008135 T Shirt despite what your mom, gramma, aunt, sister, and Ms. Fafenhooper, your English teacher, think.

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The Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation has a message for you and they hope to keep you on the straight and narrow. Otherwise, if a critical mass of the nation becomes addicted to drugs, the United States goes down in flames. There is no way to police all of the mayhem that drug-fueled masses would produce.

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3 Werewolves T Shirt

by on April 13, 2011

Those are some beasty sinewy werewolves howling at a blood red moon that looks somewhat like an organ from a mammal. Plus, you have a scary dead tree, vampire bats flying around, big sharp teeth, fiery red eyes, and menacing nostril steam, to make this one of the spookiest shirts I’ve ever seen. The 3 Werewolves T Shirt is especially insidious because it is mimicking the ubiquitous three wolves concept, which is such iconic imagery for togetherness, soulfulness, and metaphysical exploration. I mean that’s what I feel when I see those magnificent beasts howling at the full moon.

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I like calling a gun a boomstick, and I like that the S-Mart Sporting Goods Department has this very fine 12-gauge, Double Barrel, Walnut Stock, Cobalt Blue Steel with a hair trigger for the excellent price of $109.95. But, that’s not all. You also get the chainsaw for only $9.95 with a purchase of a Boomstick. You have to be crazy not to take advantage of that deal.

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At first I thought it was a piss sample, then I thought why would you save that much urine, because that’s definitely more than one visit to the loo. And, also, why would carrying around a half quart of piss be a party. Of course, I haven’t been around much seeing as I live in mom’s basement, so maybe that’s the cutting edge of nightlife behavior. Third thing to come to mind was why can’t that girl model move her hair so you can see more of the shirt, but then I realized I could have picked the image Busted Tees offers of just the shirt art work. I chose the girl because she’s cute.

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First thing I thought when I saw this shirt was “oh, Busted Tees, has started licensing, that’s suprising…oh wait, that’s the Star Wars logo but it says Star Trek. And, then it hit me. We have a misdirection t shirt in our midst. I suggest you buy this Star Trek T Shirt (ha, ha…it just doesn’t do it justice in text) and wear it around and see how many people have spasmodic little cognitive disassociations, and then they’ll get it and laugh and envy you for having such a sweet shirt.

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This shirt is hilarious. I love it. All I can think of is Kenny G. I think I might have a thing for him, seductively holding that soprano sax just so. Yum. And, you know the man did hard core drugs, and was sexed out of his mind. Every milf in the country loved those silky shitty tunes he coaxed out of that God-forsaken instrument. Plus, he probably went both ways, so his pleasure was doubled. That’s how the math works out. Right?

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Not too much of a funny shirt here, but a good message and a powerful image of tank man in Tiananmen Square, when Chinese students were protesting the oppressive Chinese regime.

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