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Guess the zombie face eating dude in Miami was high on bath salts — street name for some over the counter drugs that fuck you up. Rudy Eugene was at a music festival, took the salts and went nuts, then got shot. I was looking at that guy’s face and he looked like a normal dude, so it makes sense it was a one-time freak out on some potent chemical shit.
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Like this one. Evolution from monkey to cave man to work in an office 9-5 man to dead to resurrected as the undead. Very simple concept but I haven’t seen it before. Packs a humor punch. What will be interesting is the next step in the evolution. Humans that live today probably will not be able to conceptualize that because we’re already projecting the zombie thing. Knowing too much will be overwhelming, but people have called me a prophet on occassion so I’m going to tell you what I think is next after zombie.
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I think maybe life has passed me by. That’s the kind of thoughts I have when I see that Zombie Lincoln was a massively popular novel and soon to be released as a movie. Oh wait, that was vampire Lincoln or was that zombie killer Lincoln. He has a hatchet. I know that.
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Can’t get enough zombie shirts in my collection, and this Zombie Astronaut T Shirt is certainly a worthy addition. Man, that zombie is going to have a tough time finding sustenance in space. Not a lot of blood up there in the oxygenless atmosphere. But, surely he knew that before he embarked so he probably has a lot of blood reserves in the fridge on board the ship.
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This is a big burn. Everybody you see is going to feel burned. You’re going to be on fire burning people left and right and left and right and center. A movement may start against you because you are burning up the city. People are devestated. They can’t go on. They just read your Zombies Eat Brains So You’re Safe T Shirt and now they know their place. In fact, you may need to cover that thing up if there’s anyone you want on your side, otherwise you become the Lone Wolf. You drink alone. You walk alone. You drive alone.
Read more on Zombies Eat Brains So You’re Safe T Shirt from Five Finger Tees…

God I love that little kid. Ginger, snaggle teeth, freckles, button down shirt with tie and sweater. Bright eyes. And a nice big plate of brains. If you were meant to be a zombie and you accepted and embraced that fate, the Apocalypse looks a whole lot brighter. Despite all the death and destruction, mister future zombie is actually just then finding his ultimate flow, which is all you can ever ask for this life time.
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