August 2008

This shirt is lascivious and full of innuendo and I simply love it. Why? Oh, I think you know. You know where IT is under, so don’t play coy with me. Let’s get straight to the facts, keep it real and not put on fronts. If you dig REAL communication. If you crave heart-to-heart. If you like tshirts that say “underwear,” then you really ought to get this Underwear? Oh, I think you know tshirt.

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Headline: Barney and Barney actor skeleton found well preserved in East Los Angeles Dig

You can only guess where the archeologists are going to dig up this specimen in a thousand years. Probably after shooting Barney & Friends the perverted “actor” that plays the scary purple educational mutant, goes down back alleys and seedy boulevards in sunny, smoggy LA to find what gets him off. Crack cocaine, rusty handcuffs and Orangina.

Read more on Prehistoric Freak T Shirt…

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Talkin’ ’bout taken MMA to the next level. Bring the yarn, paint brushes and writing paper. Real men love crafts and ninja outfits. This shirt is nearly perfect. It just needs raw macaroni noodles, paste, construction paper and glitter to be the pinnacle of crafty.

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This is a very informative shirt. And stylish too. It’s always good reference for the important questions in life and arms-length away, and this lovely depiction of all the cranes you need to know can be right on your body at all times (especially if you don’t mind wearing really smelly clothes or buying seven as these tshirts and putting them in rotation).

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Mandolin Hero T Shirt

by on August 26, 2008

You ever seen a true Mandolin hero wailin’? If you have to think about it, you never have, ‘cuz if you’ve been in the presence of a Mandolin hero doing her thing, we’ll you’ve witnessed REAL magic.

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Oranges Purples T Shirt

by on August 25, 2008

Generally I think genetically modified food is scary and that big corporations should keep their stinkin’ devil-claws out of the farming business, but I have to make an exception for purples. These are way out cool and I’m certain quite delicious. Like a mix of concord grapes and a tangelo.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This isn’t really a definitive answer, but certainly something to base a well-constructed hypothesis on. The egg thinks he did.

Unfortunately, this took me awhile to get. I’m slow like that. Or probably I’m just really naive. Anyway, if you have some time to sit down and discuss with people puzzled over the meaning of your shirt, this is a terrific conversation starter. Of course, you’ll need to be comfortable discussing the Oedipus complex, because if you really think about it…

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Party Pooper T Shirt

by on August 23, 2008

First off. This has got to be some party. I mean this Party Pooper’s got a pointy party hat and a beer. Right there says off the hook. Next, I’m thinking you have some substantial snacks if you gotta go number 2 in the middle of a get together that’s this hot.

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I have to admit, I’m totally into these Band Hero tshirts from Torso Pants. And this flaming hot, French Horn really gets me. When you want to be the sophisticate in the band, go for the French Horn, because it’s way more classy than the tuba and not as suggestive as the trombone.

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Superman Tshirt

by on August 21, 2008

superman-t-shirtNot sure why, but Superman tshirts make me laugh. Either you have someone who takes themselves way to seriously. Looks in the mirror and sees a lion and seriously believes that they are as close to Superman as any real person can be. And that makes me laugh, ‘cuz basically that dude needs to chill.

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You never really think about what’s happening with the food you eat. Slaughtered chickens, hooked fish, chopped plants, ground up horses to make paste, and, of course, the forced split of popcicle lovers. So harsh. So sad. And yet you’ll continue to lick and suck and enjoy the cool, fruity, sweet treat. Cold really.

Read more on Popcicle Break Up: Don’t Leave Me I’ll Never Forget You T Shirt…

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i-gave-my-word-to-stop-at-third-tshirt-modelCelebrating abstinence is always a good policy. Of course, stopping at third these days just means there wasn’t four hookers, copious leather, mescaline and ferrets.

Remember the good old days when stopping at third meant calling someone on the telephone and not actually seeing them in person. Yay!

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