Tshirt Hell is probably the most blatantly offensive tee site on the Net, but you can tell there’s a brain behind all the bustle. Sometimes the designs miss the mark and are just in poor taste, but sometimes they push it just enough to be dangerously hilarious.
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All kinds of sassy sparking off this shirt. Sally walks up to the front of the velvet rope. Gives the gatekeeper the look, and the gatekeeper asks with a shrug, “who are you?” As if?!?!?!?!?!?
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What is that? A faun? A Satyr? Minotaur? Nah, you crazy…that’s a Centaur. Half Man. Half horse. Known for their lustfulness and drunkeness. And, of course, the original hybrid. Forget the gas and electric combo. That Prius is sissy. These Centaurs are serious beasts that will steal your woman and drink your wine. Beware.
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People will walk around and look at the back of your shirt, then it will slowly begin to dawn on them that the six words were “I have six words for you.” Then they’ll shake their head and see the world in a different light. The absurdity they experience will be the closest thing to an acid trip they’ll get without licking Mickey Mouse stamps.
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You walk around with this shirt on at work, you’re gonna get some stares. A couple of the prudes are going to beeline it to the HR Manager. A few of the hot ones are gonna think you’re a perv. And all of the marketing team members and two of the IT guys that actually leave their office, are gonna think it’s hilarious.
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Two good things about this shirt. I never remember which is which in terms of the stalactites and stalagmites, and when I find my self in caves with smart people, I feel like a total doofus. No more. I’ll just look at this shirt and be fine. Also, this is super funny. Outta nowhere in this cave with the gorgeous rock formations you have a hobo jerking off. The humanity of this is amusing. Isn’t that how it always is?
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Great little spoof of shirts and bumper stickers that say stuff like if you’re gonna get this close why don’t you blow me and stuff like that. So, you read the first line, and you’re expecting a zinger, and all of a sudden you get this super mundane and obvious conclusion. And, your mind is blown because you’ve been tricked.
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This might be the greatest t-shirt design in the history of funny tees. No joke. This gets me everytime I see it. Of course, I think I had more standards back in the day, and decided it was a little too vulgar for my audience, but with FICA going up, and everyone in government and bicycle racing on the take or juice or both, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and let it all hang out.
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Am I right? Dude had the sweet sappy soul with that soprano sax like no other long curly locked white suit wearing white boy in history. Everytime I got in the mood by painting my nails and cutting off my gonads, I would totally slip Kenny G into the tape player. Bliss.
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This is probably true in more bands than anybody realizes. I mean they can sing about getting it on, and you can think they’re getting more tail than anyone on Earth, and you’re right, except it’s a slightly different type of tail. Ha ha. I’m sure the Queen bouncers had to say this alot. Maroon 5 too.
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Suing grandmas for the deterrent effect. Upholding culture-destroying copyright claims. Holding on to and dying with the crusty used to bes instead of embracing the new music paradigm and, good god, profiting. I say fuck the RIAA too.
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And she hasn’t even seen it. It’s something she’s just heard about within her circle of friends, which includes Hollywood starlets and fellow lovely singers, and models. And all the other super rich, super hot women you can think of. Now, don’t get me wrong…I haven’t been with all of them. Just a few…dozen in fact, but news travels fast with the rich vixens because if you think about it, between the kick boxing class in the morning, the 8-ball in the afternoon, and the mani-pedi at 4 pm, there isn’t a whole helluva lot to do except gab with rich girlfriends.
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Man, that’s a rainbow coalition of hot broads right there. Old white dude in a the trench coat doesn’t have much game left, so he thought maybe a bold move like flashing this lovely group of ladies would be his only chance. Didn’t work, but I guess he has a story to tell in the right company.
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