Headline Shirts is wildly awesome

Headline Shirts is the best in the business at delivering absurd, entertaining and hilarious tees. You definitely want to check out these reviews.

Or you might want to take a look at the top 22 Headline Shirts according to me.

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My question is…without the name of the shirt visible is anybody going to know what the hell is going on with this design? Or maybe that’s the point. It’s the perfect icebreaker. What’s that on your shirt…green pizza? Close. It’s pizza crop circles. Oh, that’s really weird. Now, if this person is into the weirdos, then this little meet up turns into a hook up, and then you’re married with kids and miserable. So, maybe don’t get this shirt. It’s too powerful. Not sure what Headline Shirts is thinking releasing this type of thing into the world.

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Everybody loves the tropical fish tank…as long as they don’t have to clean it, and with this very fine t-shirt featuring the illusion of a tropical fish tank on your chest, you can enjoy all the splendid colors, and the soothing nature of fish, without having to worry about feeding them, or cleaning their tank. Probably the greatest shirt ever for lazy lovers of pet fish.

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$4 shirts. What? That’s right. Headline Shirts is having a big sale for the 4th of July including some $4 shirts. Crazy! Go get ’em before they are gone. Not sure when the sale ends, but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to last forever. Just a hunch.

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You know the type. Like they’re permanently stoned. Greasy hair. Thick calves. Ratty tee. Talking about going to the zoo or on a hike in the woods, and one of the bennies they’re trying to sell to get you to go is that there will be Animals & Shit. And that’s what this t-shirt from Headline Shirts is all about.

I think that also how I’d describe the biblical passage regarding Noah’s Ark. Maybe add a boat at the beginning.

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Lover T Shirt

by on June 26, 2012

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I just ran into this Lover shirt with the sexy scripty font, and just as I zoomed in on the shirt image, Prince started singer I Wanna Be Your Lover in my ear. Well, actually ears, because it was a recording of the song, not the man actually singing in my ear.

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Ha ha. This is from the movie The Artist. When the gun was shot the flag said bang. It’s a silent movie so you don’t get the loud pop you do with full surround sound, so you have to show something to give the audience an idea. So, what about when the gun has a silencer? The audience needs to know this to. That’s where the design on this tee from Headline Shirts comes in. The flag says “shhh” as in quiet. Excellent.

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I’m pretty sure Earnest Hemingway probably asked a table full of interesting characters this exact question. He was a drinker and a thinker, and liked to make merry with the people around him. I totally just made that up. Actually, I saw Midnight in Paris and Hemingway seemed like that kind of dude, so that pretty much proves it.

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I’m listening the Wooden Shjips right now and one guitar is plenty for them, but…generally speaking whenever you’re doing your thing…breathing and thinking and obsessing over that thing you said to that kid in the third grade…there needs to be more guitars in the mix. And, if this tee from Headline Shirts is to be believed then you probably need to start thinking a little bit more about extra guitar necks.

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All those shitty ash trays and underwear and socks. And maybe even a tie. And guess what my dad only had use for one of those items, and it wasn’t underwear…I’ll tell you that again. Wasn’t underwear. Anyways, this sale could be over for all I know but that doesn’t mean you should try your hardest to take advantage.

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This is good because we all need to focus our protest energies and hit the people that really deserve it: Burning Man. Forget about all the kleptomaniacs on Wall St. Forget about the politicians that sashay through the greased revolving door. Let’s talk about people way out in the desert who are blowing off a little steam by doing man illegal and immoral things. These are the people that are bringing the country down.

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At first you think this shirt is another one of those goofy evolution t-shirts, where you see the typical evolution picture from caveman to upright citizen, then humanity slips back into a crouch as they hover over the latest iPad. But, this Baboon in Motion T shirt is not that.

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Something about that pot of coffee is sexy. Not sure what it is. The curves of the handle. The roundness pot. Something gets me with this design, and I don’t even drink the stuff…but I should. Everybody that is successful at life drinks coffee. It’s the perfect drug, except that I think I’d be jittery and spastic, but maybe that’s just a noobie faze.

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