Five Finger Tees Reviewed

Five Finger Tees: They’re a steal and the designs are cool, and I review them as they release new ones each week.

buffalo bills body lotion t shirt Buffalo Bills Body Lotion T Shirt

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“Put the lotion in the basket!” What a creepy scene in a creepy movie. Definitely worthy of a t-shirt. It would be kind of funny if a company did start selling Buffalo Bill’s Body Lotion, though I’m guessing they wouldn’t get a lot of women customers. Probably more pervy men, using it to whack off.

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worlds best dad t shirt Worlds Best Dad T Shirt

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That’s William H. Macy. Interesting actor, unless he’s in those ponderous, boring Mamet films. Anyways, I think I saw that he was in a TV show and was a dad, so that’s where this design is coming from. Let’s go check it out. Here it is. He plays Frank Gallagher in Shameless.

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irish you were beer t shirt Irish You Were Beer T Shirt

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Hey ho, it’s near St. Patty’s and this is the shirt for you to wear on the big green day. Let’s go O’Shanigan. Bust out the green in your wallet and pick this one up. You wanna look good at the pub March 17 and with this fresh design you will. No you can’t wear that Larry Bird throwback for the 10th year in a row.

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you have died of dysentry t shirt You Have Died of Dysentry T Shirt

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It’s the Oregon Trail!!!!! I’ve seen this design 92 times, but I’m not sure I’ve seen it in this very nice green. That really puts you right back in the day when that game was awesome. My oh my how far we’ve come, but have we really! Dun Dun da….that was supposed to be like the laying for of a super mystical mystery that you must ponder to REALLY LIVE.

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keep calm we are all infected t shirt Keep Calm We Are All Infected T Shirt

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There has to be a new one of these Keep Calm t-shirts every week. Now, if a Keep Calm comes on the scene it has to be real good to get any attention, and I think this one is that good. It’s a new perspective. Instead of bearing up under it, because we’re all going to get through together, this one goes the other way. Why sweat it since we’re all infected and we’re all going to die.

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I Love Sci-Fi T Shirt

by on February 21, 2013

i love sci fi t shirt I Love Sci Fi T Shirt

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Wait…isn’t it Scy Fy? What’s this early 2000s Sci-Fi business? Do the kids even know what that means? Don’t get me wrong. I hate the Scy Fy spelling. It makes no sense to me, but maybe that’s because I’m 68 years old.

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beards they grow on you t shirt Beards They Grow On You T Shirt

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Yes, they literally do grow on you, but in reality you have to have serious perserverance to grow a beard long enough so that having it actually grows on you. Otherwise, it’s like an itchy dead animal stuck to your face. I’ve never been able to hang on long enough to grow a beard that hangs down off my face, but I imagine that’s really when you become attached.

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science doesnt care about your beliefs t shirt Science Doesnt Care About Your Beliefs T Shirt

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It’s kind of harsh, but true. Science is cold and calculating and probably just as mysterious as religion, when you start diving into the bigger questions. This may not be the case in 1000 years, but for now I think the state of science is probably in a super rudimentary phase in terms of understanding consciousness, energy, souls, and shit.

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Pinkman T Shirt

by on February 7, 2013

pinkman t shirt Pinkman T Shirt

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Wait, is this a spoiler? I’m not quite done with season 5. Should I cover my eyes and run screaming? Why is Pinkman on a Phosphorus Periodic Table of the Elements square? Or maybe I just have a terrible memory and that happened in like Season 2. In fact, it’s what he’s known for. The actor that plays Pinkman can’t get any other acting work because the running Phosphorus bit throughout Season 4 has branded him, such that audiences could think of him in no other way. This is very possible, because the only thing I can remember about TV or movies is if I liked the shows or not.

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michonnes katana training t shirt Michonnes Katana Training And Self Defense Classes T Shirt

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I am so out of touch with the zombie thing. I do not get it. It’s just completely unsavory. Non-stop fear and shooting and really ugly people stumbling about groaning. But, I understand that I am the only person on Earth that is not really that into zombie programming, so I am happy to present this very fine The Walking Dead shirt.

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mamas boy t shirt Jason Voorhees Mamas Boy T Shirt

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I gotta be honest. Whenever I see the name Jason Voorhees I think it’s some sort of athlete. Then, if the mask is there, I immediately think it’s a goalie in the NHL. Then, I take a step back from my wild mind, and remember that Jason is actually the name of the tormenter in the Friday the 13th movies.

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bruce campbells boomstick soup t shirt Bruce Campbells Boomstick Soup T Shirt

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Bruce Campbell gets some serious play in the t-shirt design world. He’s an iconic figure, playing some of the most memorable horror film roles ever. Plus, his name is Campbell, so there’s that soup thing too. Boomstick, of course, references the movie Army of Darkness where he calls his shotgun a boomstick.

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