Five Finger Tees Reviewed

Five Finger Tees: They’re a steal and the designs are cool, and I review them as they release new ones each week.

Obviously, in Transformers Optimus Prime says Roll Out as a battle cry to his autobots to get out there and battle the Decepticons. And Keep Calm is the first part of the British poster from WWII that seems to have made a stunning resurgence. Do you like the mashup? I think it’s pretty cool, so I’m going to give it 5 stars and suggest that you pick up the Keep Calm and Roll Out T Shirt before they’re out of stuck, which is always a remote possibility. Better to be safe.

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It’s shark week so this Sharks are Jawsome T shirt is entirely appropriate to feature on t-shirt of the day. Hope you appreciate the synergy I’ve got going here with the nasty killer beasts of the sea. Basically, I liken myself to sharks because I never stop moving and shaking, finding you, my dear reader the best funny t shirts on all of the world wide Internets.

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Use this link when you’re shopping at Five Finger Tees for 5% off your purchase. Don’t forget to add coupon code fiveoff during checkout to receive your discount.


I was so happy to see such a nice celebration of domesticity and the culinary arts. Chicken, delicious. Pot, my favorite is Le Creuset, and Pie…yumm…homemade apple pie or blueberry or pumpkin. I was starting to swoon with a warmed heart, then someone told me that this Chicken Pot Pie My Three Favorite Things T Shirt was celebrating marijuana. It took me a few days to see it, because I had grasped onto my interpretation, and it wouldn’t let go easily, but when it finally did I was sort of devestated.

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I like to imagine celebrities and athletes and the hoity toity wearing this I’m Just Like You Only Smarter and Better Looking T Shirt in common places like Wal-Mart, or the fair, or perhaps even the largest mall in any given city. You want to love celebrities, because they fulfill the need for heroes, but you want them to also be approachable if you run into them in a public space. And cool. But, say they just wore this shirt and ignored everybody and sneared with that I smell shit look that the uptight often get.

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Nice little phone booth shout out to Dr. Who here with this Time Crossing T Shirt. Dr. Who gets so much love from the t-shirt community. I had no idea it was still so popular. I guess lo-fi sci-fi has its charms and I guess Dr. Who does it right.

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This shirt brings up a very good point. I mean there are things subject to interpretation, but at the very least you have to start in the morning if you’re going to do something all day. Literally you would need to go 24 hours straight without stopping, but that’s ludicrous. You have to pee sometimes. I would say drinking all day means you have to start at 9 AM and go through midnight. Can we all agree on that?

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I like this one. Dude flipped on the light switch. He’s out of control. That light switch hasn’t been flipped except for that horrid accident like 27 years ago. You know the one were the kid had to drowned in the pond because they took sins like this a little more serious back in the day. Wasn’t even really the kid’s fault. He had to take a leak in the middle of the night and was feeling his way around the walls (okay, he was drunk, which was why he was struggling to navigate in the dark…nobody knew that bit of the story), and he accidently flipped the switch. Bad timing. His dad was up, saw the light, was shocked for two seconds then did what he had to do in front of God and the rest of the community. Sad story.

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I kind of hate the way Yoda talks. It’s pretty damn annoying. Is there one single person on the planet that agrees with me on this. Or, are you all so beholden to the magnificence of the Star Wars series that you can’t look critically at any of the individual pieces that make up the saga. Not saying I wouldn’t grab five or six of these My Yoda Shirt This Is T Shirts, because it’s a funny design no doubt.

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Have you seen Deliverance. I don’t think I ever have if you can believe that. I’ve seen clips and pieces and bits, but I don’t think I have ever sat down and watched the entire thing. Still, it has a life of it’s own in my brain, because of the powerful scenes that have pervaded the cosmic consciousness. Banjos, canoes, rivers, the boonies and anal raping have never had the same perception since this movie came out.

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In case you’re having a hard time reading the words on this Honey Badger Definition T Shirt in the thumbnail image I’m going to do my good deed for the day and transcribe it right now:

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Enjoy Bacon T Shirt

by on July 1, 2011

Very simple shirt with a very simple message. Sometimes we can make life too complicated. That’s why it helps to take a step back, analyze what’s working and what’s not. Trim the fat and move on to a more enjoyable existence. To remember this life lesson, I suggest you quickly pull out your wallet and purchase the Enjoy Bacon T Shirt.

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