Food T Shirts Reviewed

Food T Shirts: Probably 65% bacon in this food shirt roundup, but there’s other stuff. Pancakes, fruit, meat, etc.

i-didnt-claw-my-way-up-the-food-chain-to-eat-vegetables-t-shirt

Get This Shirt from Snorg Tees

I like all the meats represented here, along with accouterments  including moose, oysters, ham, pigeon, fork with hot dog, hamburger, and knife. I guess when you say you clawed your way up the food chain, you’re talking the big “I” as in your species. Because I’m guessing you didn’t actually defeat all the creatures on the planet in a cage match tournament with the ref raising your arm in victory and naming you the top of the food chain.

Read more on I Didn’t Claw My Way Up The Food Chain to Eat Vegetables T Shirt…

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Pi Pie T Shirt

by on December 19, 2012

pi-pie-t-shirt

Get this Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

Hey all you math whizzes and pie eaters. Here’s a chalkboard slash mirror and it’s pretty cool. I never thought about 3.14 flipped around spelling pie, the delicious dessert. Don’t think about this too hard or your mind will be blown. Just get the shirt and wear it around and become its master and wield the power with sloppy abandon.

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peanut-butter-sucks-youre-just-jellies-t-shirt

Get This Tee From Tshirt Hell

Those jellies are mean, but peanut butter isn’t going to fold under the pressure. He drops a nice wordplay comeback that surely made them pipe down. I mean you just have to applaud that sort of quick wit in the heat of the battle.

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raisin-cookies-are-why-i-have-trust-issues-t-shirt

Get This Shirt From Snorg Tees

Ah, what you don’t like the healthy stuff. You need chocolate to soothe your troubled soul. Medicate the trauma of your childhood. Silence the voices whispering in your doubting moments. Man up and have a raisin cookie. Or if you exhibit decent behavior maybe you can have carob chip.

Read more on Raisin Cookies Are Why I Have Trust Issues T Shirt…

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the-second-breakfast-diner-t-shirt

Get This Shirt from Busted Tees

I have no idea what this means. What’s a second breakfast? Is that the after hours breakfast you crave when you’re drunk and high, that I’ve heard so many degenerates talk about? Could be. Of course it is. I’m not that out of touch. Now, does this shirt have anything to do with Denny’s and The Hobbit menu. Probably not.

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Get this Shirt from Tshirt Bordello

If you think about it, this is gross, ‘cuz Jason is serving up dead people subs and toasted sandwiches. It’s kind of funny, because he calls all the ingredients he uses organic, even though he can’t be certain where his victims have been. Ah, nothing like thinking about the Friday the 13th franchise more often, because you’re wearing a shirt that reminds you.

Read more on Jason’s Old Fashioned Deli T Shirt…

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Get This Tee From Tshirt Hell

No. No. No. We’re not talking about Roe V. Wade and abortion here. We’re talking about a very odd Japanese gameshow that Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade competed in with Roe, the mobile salmon egg roll. There were all sorts of dubious athletic adventures in which they competed fairly evenly, but it was kind of cooked. It came down to the last event and lo and behold what should it be, but basketball…a game that Wade plays professionally. Still it was close, the Roe could ball, but DWade prevailed in the end.

Read more on Roe (salmon eggs) Vs. (Dwyane) Wade T Shirt…

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Get This Tee From Headline Shirts

This is one of the weirdest shirts I have ever seen from Headline Shirts and that’s saying something, because they’re all weird. It’s a pineapple with an eye patch. And, it’s banana crossbones. What’s little known is that this is the banner under which the most brutal and violent band of pirates sails.

Read more on Pineapple Crossbones T Shirt…

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Get This Shirt From Snorg Tees

Kind of a multi-layered Bacon thing going on here. Bacon is basically the most important food on the Internet. One layer. 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon is a game that basically suggests that everybody on earth is 6 degrees of connection or less from the actor. Meaning you know someone, who works with someone, who landscapes someone’s yard, who manages a singer-songwriter, who gets their anus bleached by Bacon’s bleacher.

Read more on 6 Degrees of Bacon T Shirt…

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Santa Has Diabetes T Shirt

by on November 28, 2012

Get This Tee from Tshirt Hell

Man, this is tough news to break to the kids. It comes out in the summer. You tell ’em. Yeah he’s getting insulin shots…Mrs. Claus or his favorite elf jams that big needle in his ass. He’s on the caveman diet (except he’s always cheating). And, he hopes to have all of his limbs and eyesight when Xmas rolls around so he can deliver the goods. But, it’s not a sure thing. Yep, it’s true. Kids like you did it too him. It’s not like he can take a pass on all those damn cookies, eggnog, and fudge. He’s gotta pack it down to look grateful. Horrible for a guy, especially at his age. I’m trying to warn you, so you’ll be emotionally prepared either way. Now, what was it you wanted from Santa so I can deliver the message.

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Type 2 Dia Badass T Shirt

by on November 24, 2012

Get this Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

Is the badass part that you eat all that shit even though you have Type 2 diabetes? I feel like there’s a fine line between bad ass and dumbass and chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes, donuts, and ice cream cones for someone having trouble regulating their blood sugar is on the dumb side of that equation. Or maybe just the sugar skull is badass. Or the word play of thinking then name of the shirt is Type 2 Diabetes, but then switches in mid-sentence because the sugar skull looks badass. Or maybe it’s supposed to read…die a badass. Who knows? Cool looking shirt though.

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Get This Shirt From Busted Tees

Not sure if that patient orange is upset because he has a straw in his head, or because the doctor in the emergency room is wearing funny nose and glasses and is seemingly mocking the entire situation.

Read more on Orange Doctor’s Office T Shirt…

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