Happy Mother’s Day! In honor of mother’s day, I give you a shirt about vegetables, because that’s always a common subject with the moms of the world. Eat your peas. Eat those brussels sprouts. Eat your salad. That broccoli better be gone by the time I get back from this meeting with my pimp. It’s non-stop, day and night, bitch and moan about eating the vegetables. God, no wonder everybody is so relived to get out of the house and be on their own, where an endless supply of pizza, beer, and skanks awaits. Not a veggie to be seen.
But wait. I got a little off track. This is in celebration of your mom, my mom, the collective mother, Mother Earth, and even the deceased Mother Theresa, who Christoper Hitchens blasphemed (you can’t call a saint a Hell’s angel, Chris…unless it’s true). The one on who’s teats we suckled life giving nourishment to stand up on our own two feet, pollute the streams, rivers, lakes and oceans, cause pain in each and every relationship, and covet the latest and greatest electronic gadget even as yesterday’s models are still warm laying atop steadily growing landfills, threatening to overflow into the poor neighborhoods.
No. No. What I mean to say is get Vegetables Are What Food Eats Tshirt because it’s a very cute depcition of the cycle of life. Pig eats the vegetables. Pig becomes a ham at our Mother’s Day brunch. Beautiful. Celebrate the cycle of life and the old lady that brought you into it. But, really you should eat some vegetables. Don’t be one of those people that just eat meat, drink soda and call catsup a vegetable. Your colon will rebel viciously. But, hey, I ain’t your mother. Do what you want you hilly billy freak.
Snorg Tees would never piss off 93% of the mothers that visit their website.