Tshirt Hell

Tshirt Hell is probably the most blatantly offensive tee site on the Net, but you can tell there’s a brain behind all the bustle. Sometimes the designs miss the mark and are just in poor taste, but sometimes they push it just enough to be dangerously hilarious.

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How can someone think this? They should love themselves. If they don’t, who will? Just kidding…I totally feel like this all the time. It’s like I’m 41 and it’s very obvious what my flaws are and is there a chance in hell I’m going to be fixing any of that shit any time soon. Not really. Kind of depressing, and very understandable if it’s not super attractive to you. Wait, I think I just parroted something I heard on the WTF Podcast. God that stuff just seeps into your subconscious. Oh well. Truth is the truth, and I gave attribution, but I could have very easily just spouted that off like I was the originator without malice or bad intentions.

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This is great. Usually, it’s some sorted BJs in the back alley story, but here we have a very disconsolote young man talking about how had to stoop so low and be a paper boy when he was 11. Tough story to digest, but it seems to have made him stronger, and able to take on anything in his new career as a male prostitute.

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Hey, sometimes you think people that kill themselves are selfish. I mean offing yourself, so that someone that loves you has to find you dead and hanging from the rafters or in a pool of blood or whatever is pretty awful. However, if you have this shirt from T-Shirt Hell on that mitigates the damage significantly, because it shows you want to save time for the person that finds you. That don’t have to rifle through your shit to find your note. They know exactly where it is.

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Perm Whale T Shirt

by on July 7, 2012

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I almost feel like I’m missing something here. Tshirt Hell normally goes for the most offensive or dirty, but on the subject of sperm whale, they threw a curve ball and went with the always funny perm. I like it. And, I like how happy that whale is. Totally went with his heart and got the perm, despite the naysayers, and now he’s in the flow. Good for him.

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This shirt is funny on several levels. One…I know exactly where this sentiment comes from. As a world-famous t-shirt blogger it’s hard to tell what the women really want…my fame and/or vast wealth, my incredible looks, or my personality/soul combo. It’s a tough thing for those in my position. Two…that’s a dandelion. Dandelion’s get blown. Three…usually the desire is to be loved for who you are. It’s a romantic, pure love notion. Being blown for who you are is kind of funny. Like somebody gets to know the depths of your personality, and then decides to give you a hummer ‘cuz of it.

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Terrible, terrible misogynistic t shirt right here. It’s at least 50-50 in the blame game. I mean in all my relationships that I dreamed up while lying on my futon on the floor, it’s always been me that’s left because the woman was getting too needy, and I’m pretty sure that counts. Right? I wonder what the latest numbers for marriages ending in divorce are? Probably over 50%.

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Really this shirt should have formerly Fat Albert with his old pants holding them out like eight inches because they don’t even come close to fitting any more. You know like a cheesy diet pill commercial. Albert started eating right and exercising. That’s all it takes. Dedication to the simple things to transform your body. Oh and liposuction and stomach stapling. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of a few modern gastro-technologies. He looks good. He gets laid.

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Sometimes it’s the right thing to do. Let people know where you stand on certain issues, or even products, or even body parts. The designer of this Vagina Fan Club President T Shirt obviously likes vaginas and wants to give others like him (her?) the chance to express their appreciation for the female anatomy as well.

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As an uncoordinated middle-aged white man I agree. I’ve tried to do the complicated handshakes I have seen on the blaxploitation films with my cousin when he visits me in the basement, and it’s a total disaster. We can’t even get a high five right, much less a 14-move handshake and a snap and fist bump at the end.

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This is the least offensive and edgy design from T Shirt Hell I’ve ever seen. It’s like they’re testing the waters on a new kinder and gentler line. Either that or they’re taking the names of the people that order this shirt and blacklisting them, so they can never visit the site again. Like a cute little way to weed out the folks that just like clever, smart and cute designs. It just feels like the other shoe is going to drop on this design.

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I don’t know what this means. It looks like a stencil spelling out I’ll eat it. And it looks like it’s on a metal bar. Am I close here? Did Tshirt Hell put out an I’ll Eat It T Shirt that features a stencil on metal. I have a sneaking suspicion there’s a lot more to it than that. But, how do you look it up? “I’ll eat it.” That didn’t work very well.

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This is kind of the unstated sentiment for a lot of Americans who are planning to vote for Mitt Romney, because there is no other real reason to vote to put this numbskull in office. Of course, Obama is no better. He’s proven during his first term that he’s bought and paid for by special interests that do not have the interests of the 99% in mind. So, damned if you do, fucked if you don’t.

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