Torso Pants

Torso Pants is the goofy division of T Shirt Hell. Sometimes the designs are available, sometimes they’re not, depending on the whims of the twisted mind that runs T-shirt Hell. Great shirts though. Some of my favorite.

This isn\'t the shirt I ordered tshirtDag nabbit. It sure burns me up when I get the wrong tshirt. At least Torso Pants has the good grace to send a shirt of explanation when they bugger up your order. Then, at least you can set all the people straight, who are wondering about that super terrific tee you had coming to you.

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Pancakes T Shirt

by on July 9, 2008

Pancakes TshirtLet us, you and I, celebrate the flat, fluffy, round golden brown breakfast treats. Simple food. Simple shirt. Simply “pancakes.” Yeah, you can go with all types of flavored syrups, buttermilk batter, fruit, whipped cream and whatever else. Your gramma can attempt to make tigers and alligators in the skillet that turn out looking like bad balloon animals, but when it all shakes out…when it’s time to slice away the extraneous and get down to what really matters. It’s all about the pancakes. Celebrate the ultimate comfort food and wear this tshirt.

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We Don\'t All Live in a Yellow submarine TeeIs it prudent to karate chop a sacred cow? What a very, very bold statement. Can you even type Yellow Submarine without getting a call from Sir McCartney’s bulldog lawyer?

Anyway, I’m going to align myself with this somewhat sacriligious statement and say, “yes” this is true. After all, the spunky guy on the shirt is making quite a decent life in a lavender prop plane. Plus, he’s color coordinated and sharply accessorized, which is very dapper. And, I’m saying, with that mustache he can handle himself pretty good in case Beatles representation comes buzzing around.

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Torso Pants LogoIf you, like me, appreciate…no…love the absurd, and bold colors, and hamsters, you will adore the establishment that goes by the name of TorsoPants or the more formal Torso Pants.

These are top notch funny t shirts on the finest quality tees in a terrific variety of colors. Choose from American Apparel, Hanes Beefy T, District Threads Vintage Tees, ringer tshirts, jersey tees, long sleeve t-shirts, hoodies, and don’t forget women-specific styles, including baby doll tees, boy beater tanks, and spaghetti strap tanks.

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Jesus Loves You TshirtIn homage to two great icons: Jesus and John Cusack’s immortal pose in Say Anything. If I was a chick and Jesus was doing this outside my window with the halo and the boom box playin’ our song, I think I’d pretty much be smitten. Actually, I’m a guy and that would be enough to sway me to invite him into my heart forever.

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Maybe we wouldn\'t have so many drunken astronauts if all these computers didn\'t have spacebars TshirtLamest joke to make it on a tshirt in a long time. Good for torso pants for keeping the hopes of millions of lame-ass joke telling uncles. I’m going to repeat what they have on this shirt because I can’t quite believe it: Maybe we wouldn’t have so many Druken Astronauts if all these computers didn’t have Spacebars.

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My Marxist Feminist Dialectic Brings All the Boys to the Yard TshirtI was just thinking about her. Such a sweet girl. Full lips. Toned body. And that dialectic making us all tremble with desire. Yes, ma’am, we’ll take that message to the streets. Such hypnotic power, like staring into Prince’s eyes. You can’t go back. You’ll never be the same.

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I enjoy entertainment tshirtAre you in this exclusive club? Get this I enjoy entertainment tshirt and make it known around the world. Actually, I’m lying. Entertainment is the keeping us down. Who do you think decided to make High Definition, plasa, LCD, wide screen, entertainment centers, surround sound? The man. What about coercing Hollywood to instigate the new golden age of television. The man. How about video sharing sites and blogs. The man. Electronic gadgets like iPods and laptops. The man. Game systems like Wii and PS3. The man. Fantasy sports and real time box scores. The man. Digital music on demand. The man. Netflix. The man. Lap dances from tranquilized orangatanges, banana slug enemas, middle-aged accountant porn. The man.

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I meet or exceed expectations tshirtYou gotta let people know what’s up from the get. But here’s the thing: you must be able to back this up. And here’s where it gets all metaphysical ==> If you’re wearing this perfectly stylish tshirt with its clever words, then, well, you just bumped up the expectations. Let’s just say the bar has been raised and now livin’ up to this standard is imperative. You may even need to take it to the next level. So, all I’m saying, is KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING when you put this one on.

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Land Seahorse Tee-ShirtI took a writing class at Community College and they said to write concisely. Get to the point. Say what has to be said in the least amount of words. Hemingway crashed a plane into a mountain searching for perfect brevity. He’d still be alive today had this tshirt been around in his more trying times.

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Home School Valedictorian TshirtSuch an honor. You’re in rarified air. Nobody else could’ve done it. How proud the family must be. And just think of the finest moment: the grandiose graduation speech. Thanking those present (in the living room), and offering bold claims for future potential. Throw your mortar board high in the air Homeschool Valedictorian and walk over and have some cake in the dining room with your gramma.

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American Apparel t shirts get lots of love in the clothing world. In fact, they’re the largest clothing manufacturer in the US. Why?

Well, first of all, they’re very high quality shirts that fit very well and are made right here in the USA– Los Angeles to be exact. No sweatshop labor used to produce these threads, which is a big deal. Look at some of the places your clothes are made these days: China, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia. Hard to say under what kind of working conditions these clothes were produced. Unfortunately, there’s a pretty good possibility in the global shirt business that worker conditions are bad.

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