Snorg Tees

Snorg Tees is one of the top dogs in the funny t shirt business. They consistently pump out a terrific selection of pop culture gems.

Another shirt offering celebrating the latest from The Lonely Island crew. They can pretty much do no wrong, so buying this Like a Boss T Shirt is pretty much a no brainer. Gotta get it. Especially if you are  a nominally successful boss. Don’t wear this to work if you’re like some bullshit middle manager with 1 employee and an occasional temp. That’s not funny.

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Fuck preparedness. You’re never going to be truly prepared when some random catastrophe strikes. It’s impossible. The canned food in the cellar ain’t gonna help. The weaponry hidden in the ceiling panels. The water purifier. The mystery tablets. Not going to do anything. The only thing you should always have on hand is a nice bottle of alcohol, so you can get drunk quickly and dance like a maniac. That’s the only real way to face insurmountable adversity. Like this is what Viggo should have done in The Road. Forget all the scrambling around and scrounging for food. Just break out that last bottle of bourbon and dance like a fool.

Read more on In the Event of An Emergency Get Drunk Dance Like No One’s Watching T Shirt…

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Ninja Star T Shirt

by on March 8, 2011

It’s another ninja shirt and I think it’s quite clever. The ninja is inside the star. If you throw it hard enough and the magic tree of life, the ninja will be released and will be at your service for 21 years. Think of what you could accomplish with your own personal ninja. And, this, I must add, is a top-of-the-line, so good he got stuffed into a star by an evil wizard ninja. I mean, of course, you have him do the household chores…laundry, dishes, pick up dog doodoo in the backyard, shovel the walks. Wash and detail the car. Paint the house. Shake the handle on the toilet. Run to the store for food items, tampons, and condoms whether you use them or not.

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Copy Cat T Shirt

by on February 28, 2011

That’s a pretty cute cat shirt, which should please about 87% of all Internet users. At first glance I thought Snorg Tees might sneak a little spooky looking cat butt—like half human-half cat—but, alas we got copies of fish bones, which takes it even further up the cute scale. Not quite as funny, but certainly cute.

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Hey, you need to remind everybody else to suit up, while you wearing a t shirt. That’s funny. Barney Stinson would not approve, but that’s just a TV show character, so who cares. It’s not like Neil Patrick Harris is going to stop by the place and see you wearing this Suit Up T Shirt.

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When you mix honesty with humor you become irresistible, so when you wear this shirt out on St. Patty’s Day, you’re going to have hordes of babes (men or women or both…whatever you prefer) all over you. Scads, herds, buzzing crowds…and you’ll have your pick. Not a bad on your investment in this Kiss Me I’m Pretending to Be Irish T Shirt.

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Having been in the t shirt for most of my adult life, which has all been spent in my mother’s basement, I have struggled with what to call shirts that combine a little wordplay with graphic shenanigans. If it’s straight up wordplay that’s what I call it. And, if there’s little misdirection like the picture of a cotton square, but the text says cotton round or even cotton ball (ha ha ha ha), then I go ahead and call that misdirection. But, when you have one like this Food For Thought T Shirt where it’s absolutely crucial you read the words and see the image, and it’s not a misdirection, but more of a word image play.

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Wow! This is hardcore wordplay right here. Can you even stand up and read this at the same time or did you have to sit down. Maybe I should have warned you. Something like “hey, this is a powerful bit of wordplay coming here and it includes mention of a mustache, and even shows one.” Then, you could have taken in the rush of adrenaline, composed yourself, then went ahead and opened it up and looked at this I Really Mustache You a Question But I’ll Shave It For Later T Shirt.

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I suppose I should have gone with Pt-shirt just to keep the theme going but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. Perhaps it’s my strict upbringing. The Catholic schooling. The numerous ruler beatings. The dusting of fondling. Whatever. I just couldn’t get myself to put a misspelling of the word t shirt in the title of the post, and now it’s really bugging me. As I work through this issues, I will let you know that this Pterodactyls Are Pterrific T shirt truly is a lovely little bit of word play. I love saying the word Pterodactyl and the thought of them swooping through the air eyeing their next pray is truly wondrous. I totally approve of this shirt from Snorg Tees.

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Get a 1502 or higher. Guaranteed. That’s quite a guarantee, so if you want to qualify for a good school, and you’re in the Bayside High School area you may want to look up Bayside SAT Prep and get prepared for the biggest test of your life. This, of course, is a Saved By the Bell reference. Zack Morris wasn’t a particularly great student but he did score a 1502 on his SATs and got into Yale. Good for him.

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I have no idea what this is about. I’ve never played in Super Mario. I know mushrooms give you power ups, lives and more, but I don’t think anybody is eating this dude who kind of looks like that Jackass midget, Jason “Wee Man” Acuna, with a big Mario mushroom looking turban, and a buff bod. So, maybe you become friends with him or punch him or what the hell. I don’t know, and I don’t want to go and try to find out.

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The house on this shirt looks like it’s in party mode 24/7. It’s got a party hat that I doubt ever comes off, and it has a red door and a red bush, and red lights shining out the windows. That my friend is a party. And, I’m not making allusions to red door churches, red bush women, and red light districts. That would be like a massive binge, but it would be unsustainable. Whereas sticking with a permanent house party hat is something you can pull off for years.

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