Sex T Shirts

Sex T Shirts are those featuring innuendo, straight up sex talk, and any of the sex positions. Also, boobies figure prominently in this section.

I have absolutely no idea what this 1+2=Naughty T Shirt means or is trying to say. I have nothing. You have some math. You have some totally random. You have a deer and a boy. You have a slight hint of bestiality. Or maybe a kid bringing home a wild animal to domesticate, which is naughty. There’s a little bit of threesome in there, because there’s the one (some dude), plus two (some hot bi-curious chicks) equals some naughty, naughty times.

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Not exactly sure what this means but I’m going to try and work out where I think this Booty Bumps Say No T Shirt. Dig if you will a picture of you and me engaged in a dance off in the club. Maybe it’s teams. We’re doing some sweet break dancing. Pop locking. Kicks and spins. Maybe we’re taking turns. My turn then yours. Maybe to indicate that I’m done with my set, I sidle up to your side and swing my ass to the side so it hits your ass. Your turn. Booty Bump. Maybe it’s an overused move. Maybe it has been determined by the taste makers that it’s just not an aestetically pleasing movement. Whatever, this shirt from Polly and Crackers is telling you not to do it.

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I like this a lot. I think I want to make it my motto in life. But, before I live it 100% I need to get the I’ve Got a Degree in Maxin’ and Relaxin’ T Shirt, so I can constantly remind myself of my MO. Work hard. Play hard. And even within both of those pursuits, there are bursts of work and then relax. Pound out 25 minutes of un-interupted computing, then take 5 away from the monitor. Maxin and relaxin.

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Well, it’s kinda true. They ain’t givin’ nothin’ up, which is great as a possible choice, if they’re saving themselves for the right partner, etc. I guess the question is what’s a virgin. I know some girls that think taking it in the pooper keeps their virginity intact, while others thinking French kissing is basically carnal knowledge. So, when you wear this Hey Virgins Thanks for Nothing T Shirt, be prepared to answer some of these “penetrating” questions.

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Such a delicious little wordplay and a terrific image on this Comb Over to the Wild Side T shirt.

Let’s break it down. Dude has the male pattern baldness big time, so to hang on a little longer before he just embrasses the clown hairdo or goes ahead and does a Michael Jordan shave, he grows those little side hedgerows real long…at least the right side. And before he leaves the house every morning he carefully comes the long hairs across the bald expanse to the other side. And, now the shiny pate doesn’t blind people, but then again it’s not fooling anyone.

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Fencing DTF T Shirt

by on March 8, 2011

This is a sneaky way to get the whole Down to Fuck (DTF) thing out there without actually saying Fuck, because Busted Tees throws a little misdirection out there by putting a couple of fey fencers on the shirt doing their thrusts.

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This is kind of funny. It’s nice to show the ladies in the bar where you stand right from the start. If you can convey that you are a gentle man, but open to getting a little rough in the sack if that’s what is needed, then you’re going to score massive bonus points. A woman doesn’t want a limp rag for a man, but she also doesn’t want a bulldozer that has no romantic skills whatsoever. You have to prove you well-rounded and balanced and this I’m a Lover Not a Fighter Unless You Like It Rough T Shirt is a great start.

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Someone told me that they saw Charlie Sheen get up at like 5:30 AM and workout hard with a personal trainer. And, he has a 6-pack. WTF. Maybe he is the ultimate winner. Maybe he can party with the best of celebrities past. Maybe he can do the weekly coke binges and raucous threesomes forever.  Then, again, his face looks like misery wrapped in shit, so maybe the piper is coming to collect sooner than we think. And, oh, won’t we all feel so proud to  have egged him on and even celebrated him with stuff like this Team Sheen T Shirt.

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Apparently, good ol’ Charlie Sheen has gone off the deep end. Either that or he’s shed the ties that bind and is now letting his freak flag fly. Cocaine and hooker binges. Kind of trite, but I’m going to give him a pass. I really think this was just a ruse to get the hell out of his contract with that tepid TV show 2 And a Half Men. Who wants to be associated with that mediocre drivel. And, don’t tell me it’s the highest rated show in the history of the world. So what. Whoever said popular taste was worth a damn.

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Vagina Fanboy T Shirt

by on February 27, 2011

I like this shirt. Why should fanboys only be partial to geeky things like Apple computers, or movies like Star Wars, or bands like Animal Collective, or whatever nerdy shit has a pack of fans that are boys. Why not go in a little different direction and capture those unique boys that are geeky enough to be considered fanboys, but manly enough to love the Vadge.

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What you have here is the Mistress star of Olgaf’s on-going pornographic comic. Hey, trivia question. After looking at that site do you think the author is a man or woman? Ah, hell, what am I going to do, answer in a subsequent post. I’m going to tell you now. It’s a woman from Australia, Trudy Cooper. I was under the assumption it was a dude, but I was wrong. Interesting. Anyway, back to the Falcon Mistress T Shirt. It is certainly an interesting looking shirt with a beautiful woman in a skimpy outfit, and a falcon and skulls, but it’s probably more for all of the Oglaf fans out there.

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Nice wordplay. For the uninitiated — and that’s no shame, especially now that you are here and bettering yourself — this is a play on Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, which is a common thread among the hip hop, and rap community, because it really is not. You have to find good hos. You have to keep those hos workin’ for you, and by workin’ I mean givin’ seedy, sweaty, fat duds handies next to the smelly dumpster in the darkest alley. You have to hit some hos when they start to get out of line. You have to work some of the clientele that is slow to pay. You have to maintain an exquisite wardrobe, including keeping your hat at a perfect tilt.

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