Sex T Shirts

Sex T Shirts are those featuring innuendo, straight up sex talk, and any of the sex positions. Also, boobies figure prominently in this section.

Not sure where this started but it’s a bit of an Internet meme. Of course, on the surface it means keep the hand that you slap your hos with strong, so that they know who’s boss and who needs to get paid after every trick. You can’t ever get soft and let shit slide, because it just takes a little crack to blow the whole thing wide open.

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Will if you come to Kenny Powers neighborhood then you know he’s the man and that you ain’t nothin’ but a hanger on. But, if you go up to him and in his face say it’s “Kenny Fucking Powers,” with a lot of confidence, then you might get into his good graces and not get sneered at. It’s not a guarantee. This is the type of balls to the wall attitude this Kenny F***cking Powers T Shirt is trying to facilitate. Do you have the stuff required to be qualified to wear it?

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The Dem. from New York is in great shape and he likes to show it. What’s wrong with that? Oh wait, he’s a publicly elected official and to show that type of judgment in an uptight society is not good form and makes you question his overall judgment capabilities. Of course, does it really have anything to do with the way he makes political decisions. It’s an interesting question, but the guy should be ashamed. I actually think he may not be a total sellout in the political realm, like 96.9% of CONgress, so maybe it was a setup just like Eliot Spitzer.

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Have you seen The Hangover 2? I have not, but I loved the fixed one and I love the previews I’m seeing for II. In fact, this scene with Alan Garner and a monkey on a crowded Asian bus, sitting next to an old man looks hilarious.

Read more on The Hangover II When a Monkey Nibbles on a Weenis It’s Funny in Any Language T Shirt…

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Don’t believe the hype on the whole pimping ain’t easy. Yeah, you have to slap people around. Yeah you have to make sure your employees get paid and there’s no legal channels you can go through to make sure it happens, but really, it’s not you that has to be smothered by greasy, fat, hairy horny dudes. You just have to come in after the deed and collect a large percentage of the proceeds.

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Apres Ski T Shirt

by on May 18, 2011

Not everybody is going to comprehend the main message of this shirt, because it is subtle. Basically, mustaches are power, especially when you’re talking about sexual attraction. The funny thing about the guy on the Apres Ski T Shirt is that this dude doesn’t even know how to ski. He just groomed his mustache, combed his hair, put on some cologne, and grabbed some skis, and the hottest girls flocked to him.

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I didn’t catch this joke the first time around, because I have a microscopic penis, and this is about a member that is large enough to hangover to one side or the other. That’s why there’s an arrow pointing downstairs if you know what I mean. Anyway, it’s also a drinking shirt because if you look at it without the innuendo, it’s about getting up and feeling bad after too many jello shots the night before.

Read more on I Have a Huge Hangover T Shirt…

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Halo Teabag T Shirt

by on April 30, 2011

Of course, you have seen this funny use of the Halo video game characters. The blue guy sitting on the red guys face. You can’t see the balls, but it’s implied that they are there. I wonder if the blue guy overpowered the dude or if the red guy passed out from downing too many vodka and tonics. Either way it’s hilarious and you need to get the Halo Teabag T Shirt in order to step up your cool quotient about 14%.

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OFace T Shirt

by on April 19, 2011

This is spectacular. Taking the vulgar oface phenomenon and putting it in an artistic format, so now it’s just an oface t shirt that looks like it came straight out of a museum. Am I right about this? Or is this just a totally vulgar shirt that no one should wear around impressionable children. (I think the age of impressionable children these days is 3 and a half…after that they already know everything.)

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S & M’s T Shirt

by on April 19, 2011

Good attention to detail on this one: ball gag, fishnet stockings, vinyl high heel knee-high boots, whip, spikes, zippers. Plus, you have wordplay, taking the name of a very popular candy product and switching it up. Basically, it’s wordplay and a whole bunch more type of play if you know what I mean. Huh, ha, ha.

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This shirt is hilarious. I love it. All I can think of is Kenny G. I think I might have a thing for him, seductively holding that soprano sax just so. Yum. And, you know the man did hard core drugs, and was sexed out of his mind. Every milf in the country loved those silky shitty tunes he coaxed out of that God-forsaken instrument. Plus, he probably went both ways, so his pleasure was doubled. That’s how the math works out. Right?

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Another spectacularly random shirt with animals, humans, and sex all mixed up into a weird ball of depravity and simple rhyme. Would you wear this Titty Said the Kitty T Shirt in the park, in the dark, while holding hands with Mark, making the dog bark, reading FARK, or singing Hark…the herald angel sings, glory to the new born king.

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