Sex T Shirts

Sex T Shirts are those featuring innuendo, straight up sex talk, and any of the sex positions. Also, boobies figure prominently in this section.

Sex Equals Fun Tshirt

by on January 28, 2010

Um, I guess in you fall in the camp diametrically opposed to the Vaselines Sex Sux, then you’ll raise your fist in the air and say “yeah” to this positive sentiments about sex. Finally, vindication for those that have secretly thought sex kicked ass but never felt like making a stand amidst all the haters. Now, math has come in and simply PROVED it. Sex = Fun. Let me write that arithmetic equation another way Sex Equals Fun.

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Talk about a status update. This is a rough way to find out how promiscuous your girlfriend is. In public for all of your other friends to see. Especially, when at least a dozen of those that have thumbed  up the sexy time with your girlfriend are (were) your buddies.

Read more on Sex With Your Girlfriend 74 People Like This Tshirt…

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Um, this is pretty hilarious. It’s one of those classic… I just said something horrible and I meant every word, but socially it was the wrong move, so I should try to clean it up the best I can right now. Except, it comes out totally insincere because it’s right on the heals of a heinous heartfelt proclamation. It feels hollow, forced, and probably makes the situation worse.

Read more on Your Mom is a Whore Merry Christmas Tshirt…

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Attention Whore T-Shirt

by on December 12, 2009

attention-whore-t-shirtI like a girl or guy that’s very upfront with their little foibles. If you have just come to grips with the fact that you NEEEEEEEED attention at all times. That you have to BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE the center of attention at every social gathering, then you very damn well better be ready to admit it. Confess it to your friends, family, and acquaintances and let them know you acknowledge the essence of your true self.

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Origasm Tshirt

by on November 3, 2009

origasm-tshirtPaper good lovin’ missionary style. When you inevitably get into an origami war with your neighbor, co-worker or youth minister, you’re gonna need to have that lights out move up your sleeve. They pop out a swan, you go eagle. They show python. You deliver crawdad, and so on and so forth, until the shit is so tense you can cut the electricity in the room with a butter knife.

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this-orgy-sure-is-off-to-a-slow-start-tshirtIf you can handle the eyes. If you can handle the attention. If you’re one that can work a crowd, then you may be the ideal candidate to wear this shirt to the next gathering. Some suggested gatherings including Campus Crusade for Christ meeting. Your gramma’s knitting club. A tupperware party. Yoga class. Busy subway ride. Fishin’ trip with the guys.

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id-tap-that-fish-teeThis is just sneaky funny. What is the compulsion to tap the fish tank, to be acknowledged by a guppie. I wonder if it is telling psychological test. Those that must tap a tank and those that can resist completely annoying our finned friends.

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virgin-tshirtVery astute observation on this tshirt…a veritable cultural analysis deluxe. Such a subtle and elegant way to say what’s got to be said. For those of you that don’t understand, I’m going to give it to your straight up. You can thank me later.

Read more on Star Trek Virgin T shirt…

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Make Love and War Tshirt

by on September 29, 2009

make-love-and-war-tshirtIt’s very important to be a well-rounded individual with varied tastes and a critical mind that allows you to make intelligent choices rather than react knee-jerkingly. If you are this sort of balanced person or aspire to such heights then you must consider purchasing this shirt. It’s full of wisdom and understanding and you would do well to align yourself which such depth of feeling.

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wanna-go-make-out-in-my-porsche-tshirtI gotta tell you this line always works. Back in the day, I was one of the lucky few that could use it and I swear to the good lord above that I was batting over .750 with it. Oh wait, I thought that said wear make up on the porch. Never mind.

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pimpin-aint-easy-in-a-recession-tshirtYou know the hustle and flow. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. And it especially ain’t easy in a recession. Guys don’t have that disposable income or walkin’ around for a blow job money they stuffed their pockets with before this recession/depression hit.

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id-hit-that-tshirtI hate to even bring this card to the attention of all the millions of faithful readers, because cards and sex is usually the wrong thing to do. But, when it comes to the time-honored tradition of playing on words, showing 11 at the blackjack table and saying you’d hit it, which is absolutely the right play, is quite humorous. It tickles the fancy fo’ sho’.

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