Start from the monkey. Become more upright. Pick up the first weapon (a jagged stone). Grow a mullet and make a spear. Cut your hair stand up straighter and develop gun technology. Finally, burn yourself to shit, have your arm hacked off, created an artificial respirator mask and a develop a leather (or is that vinyl) uniform, and, of course, master the greatest weapon ever invented, the light saber. Of course you have the Evolution of Evil T Shirt here and it is magnificent.
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This poor little piggy has been so traumatized on the farm by this chicken hawk, bird of prey, evil cardinal, I don’t even know what…but the family is shelling out like $95 a session to get that pigs head back on straight. And, he’s having a tough time laying on the couch, recounting his fears and experiences, cry like a baby, all the while this Freud dude is cooly taking notes and asking probing questions.
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Just so you know 8008135 looks like boobies on a calculator on in the time machine control panel. Very funny. You have the Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine and they’re punching in the numbers, except that instead of a normal destination date they punch in the old digital numbers boobies trick. That’s very nice and you know it, which is why you are so tempted to just say F It and by this Back to the 8008135 T Shirt despite what your mom, gramma, aunt, sister, and Ms. Fafenhooper, your English teacher, think.
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Can someone tell me who the final dude is? Is it Jason Stackhouse from the True Blood TV show, or is it…just kidding I totally know that’s Edward Cullen played by Robert Pattinson in the Twilight movies. I didn’t even have to go to IMDB to figure that out, because I know all of this vampire shit by heart.
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This shirt is just an excuse to get those hotties in lab coats on your chest. The wordplay is a bit of a stretch. It’s not tight. Chemists do it on the table…what the lab table…the place with all of those beakers and test tubes and bunson burners and acid that will melt your face. Gonna do it there with these two spectacularly hot Swedish babes with the cleavage. I don’t think so. Chemistry labs are serious place with serious work being done. There should be no fornication on the stainless steel tables. Yes, I know I’m skipping the most important of the wordplay: periodically. But, that’s just an after thought to me. The threesome in the lab has already happened, so now you’re trying to tie the joke up in a nice little bow. Too late.
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Man this shirt makes me feel stupid. I feel like I’d have to take a semester of molecular biology just to get it. I know enzymes help digest food, but I suppose there’s probably a ton more types of enzymes, including those that are related to the study of DNA and figuring out a human’s genes. I do not know what I’m talking about, and I’m afraid my standard 29 second Google search will not alleviate my ignorance. Okay. Okay. I’ll give it a shot.
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Hey you can go to different decades or even centuries and still be able to say Be Right Back, if you time machine is a Delorean and you’re awesome like Michael J. Fox. Of course, maybe you can’t be that confident if you’re going back into earlier times in your life, and there’s the possibility that you change things. Hell, the person you’re telling that you’ll be right back may not even live in the same town because of the shenanigans you pull in the past. That type of shit has massive ramifications. So, maybe this BRB T Shirt is totally inaccurate. And, maybe that’s why you want to buy it. It’s like if you’re a coin collector and you run into the wheat penny that actually has an image of a dude making the rock on sign with his right hand. They call that a defect and if there are only a few in the run then it is worth quite a bit more.
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So you poured through the periodic tables and did not find this element. You say you looked closely for an hour checking off each one as you went, and still did not see Adamantium. In fact, you risk severe punishment and displeasure from your chemistry teacher because you actually marked up her colorful Periodic Table Chart that she hangs on the wall in front of her room…and still you could not find it.
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It is time to wrest control the belief system of the masses and turn them from blind faith in a God that made the world to at least intelligent design. Or, even better, let’s all believe in science. I actually sort of believe in science but I also know that a lot of times you can find the results you want to find, so that a drug is deemed safe and effective when there really hasn’t been testing. I also know that science only knows a grain of sand of the sandy beach of whacky and wild knowledge of the universe that is out of there. So, I think that probably we still need a little faith in something outside of ourselves, but in terms of figuring out the basics of how the earth works, science is now doing a pretty good job, which is why you can wear this Science T Shirt loud and proud.
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