Religious T Shirts

Religious T Shirts, and by religious I mean pretty much blasphemous, sacrilegious, and funny Jesus, but still, those accurately fall under the religion tag.

It looks a lot like the Christian fish on the back of cars and on fancy leather Bible covers, but if you wear this shirt, it’s only because you support our finned friends, not the goofy religion. Bonus points if you were a hardcore Christian for at least a decade of your life, and you wear this in a gathering of your old church chums.

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Mazeltov Cocktail T-shirt

by on January 15, 2010

You see sometimes with these funny shirt joints, they don’t get their dialect right. Sometimes their spelling is off. Sometimes their geography is off…see the word Canada under the flag of Iceland. And, sometimes they’re politics are wrong…Without me It’s Just Aweso.

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Jewdo Chop Tshirt

by on October 24, 2009

jewdo-chop-tshirtNot sure what it is about Jews, but most I’ve encountered have had incredible senses of humor. If you’re into the Jewish specific humor. If you’re Jewish and want to support a tshirt biz with proprietors of similar faith, or you know the power of wearing special Jewish martial arts moves on your chest, then you should probably pull out your wallet and snatch up one of these Jewdo Chop tshirts immediately.

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BRB-tshirt-jesus-a-comin-backNever quite seen Jesus look like this. Kind of a longish nose and a definite sneer, like it’s all planned out m-f’ers. You got me this time, but I’ll Be Right Back (BRB). Get it. And, hell, it’s gonna be sooner than later the way things are goin’. Don’t believe the green shoots nonsense, the economy has much further to sink…perhaps to a point of sanity and equilibrium.

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J_Creezy_tshirtBritney Spears ain’t got nothin’ on the J_Creezy. How many followers does Jesus Christ have on Twitter? 1 trillion. Britney only has 2 million. Obama 1.6 million. Chicken feed compared to J Creez, who just happens to bust out some of the dopest tweets in the business.

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abstinence-99.99-effective-tshirtThat’s a pretty good batting average for abstinence so I’m not going to rub it in the evangelical’s and fundamentalist’s faces. But, it does throw the whole unwanted pregnancy, abortion, Roe vs. Wade, condoms, pope, adoption thing out of whack slightly, when the one out of a billion conceptions from abstinence turns out to be the Messiah.

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running-with-the-devil-teeMan that devil sure knows how to run a 10K. Starts out fast, puts the pressure on the entire field then out kicks those that dare hang ’til the end. Note the streamlined goatee. The devil ain’t going to shave that thing for completely streamlined face, because he knows that the additional fear he puts into the hearts of his compitition with that sinister facial hair is worth way more than a couple of nanoseconds of wind resistance.

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bff-best-friends-forever-tshirtHappy New Year! Hope you’re feeling as festive and benevolent as these holy men.

Let’s have a look at this. This is the first step to complete world harmony. Getting the religions to jump and shout and dance about as best friends forever. Symbolically, we have the Buddhist monk, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and the Islamic holy man taking a day trip to the mall. They’ve found such great post-holiday sales that they can’t help but jump for joy.

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jesus-loves-this-guy-tshirtIt’s good for people to know where you stand with the son of God. And, if indeed, Jesus does love you, it’s not only good to wear this shirt, it’s imperative. So, call up Jesus on the heart hotline and get the skinny on how much Jesus loves you. If the Christ loves you, then you need to…

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Ante Christ Tshirt

by on December 3, 2008

Christ looks a little bummed, like he’s on a losing streak and he’s not paying attention or simply just taking to long to drop his ante in the pot. I wonder if he thought coming in, there was no way he was going to lose because, well, he’s the son of god, but as he got into the game, he realized he didn’t have any special poker powers. So, he’s totally relying on his human side to play and it’s just not getting him anywhere.

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There’s nothing more sinister than an innocent looking kid cheating at dreidel. I mean you have to be a pretty sophisticated grifter to successfully cheat at the spinning top game, which means there are well-funded, state-of-the-art dreidel cheating cartels out there. And, that, my friends, is very scary.

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Mormons Love Me T Shirt

by on November 28, 2008

You are in a good place in life when you get to the point that you can honestly say Mormons Love Me. This spontaneous trips to Utah always end up more pleasant. The Mormon Tabernacle choir sounds better. Your holy underwear fits better. And, your polygamy advocacy group always gets the funding it needs to stay afloat for fighting the good fight.

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