Religious T Shirts

Religious T Shirts, and by religious I mean pretty much blasphemous, sacrilegious, and funny Jesus, but still, those accurately fall under the religion tag.

Start from the monkey. Become more upright. Pick up the first weapon (a jagged stone). Grow a mullet and make a spear. Cut your hair stand up straighter and develop gun technology. Finally, burn yourself to shit, have your arm hacked off, created an artificial respirator mask and a develop a leather (or is that vinyl) uniform, and, of course, master the greatest weapon ever invented, the light saber. Of course you have the Evolution of Evil T Shirt here and it is magnificent.

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I do not know who this dude is but he’s ’bout ready to chomp on an apple, and in my book that’s not evil at all. But, I guess if you think pieces of fruit are sentient beings or that apples have feelings or at least apple trees, then maybe the sentiment on this Not Evil Just Hungry T Shirt clashes with your eating ideology. Of course, you’re killing 100,000s of micro-organisms as you sit there mouth breathing and reading this with your lips moving.

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This shirt brings up a really good point. Where are all the women we need to emulate. You have your WWJD…that stands for Jesus. And you have WWNPHD and that stands for Neil Patrick Harris. You have WWTWD…that stands for Tom Waits. So finally you have this What Would Sue Do T Shirt, which helps you remember before all of your actions throughout the day to remember that there’s a higher standard in human evolution…and that is Sue.

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Good Samaritan T Shirt

by on March 29, 2011

That’s some random dude with his shirt off, and a hat and shades pushing some lady in a wheel chair. This is a little weird. The funny is in the random absurdity. I like it. This girl actually had a boyfriend that was trying to gain karma points by going out with a handicapped person, and she could tell but for a while she didn’t care, because she wanted some attention, but she ended up in his email account one day and saw some of the messages to his bro friends, and discovered that the whole relationship was a cold, calculated scam. So, she had shirtless dude come a little early to pick her up from her job, and he wheeled her out just as cold-heartless came in. She got him good. Just after this Good Samaritan T Shirt picture, she flipped him off and paid shirtless $5.

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This gets lost in the whole going extinct themselves thing, but dinosaurs really were the prophets of their age and they tried to spread the news in a timeless manner: sandwich boards. As you can see in the actual photograph that is printed on the Dinosaur The End is Near 2012 BC T Shirt, this T Rex had a humble heart and open mind and was primed to receive prophetic vibrations from the universe. He did all this to save humans, but with such a charitable nature, this poor dinosaur forget to look out for himself, and died when the great fire/flood/wind overtook the land, except for the caves where the humans dwell.

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Hey God would never exhibit wrath toward the first dude he created. Adam was so innocent and pristine when he first got plopped on Earth. He was God’s guinea pig. How could God have so much anger toward him that early. I mean I can see this playing out with Vlad the Impaler, evil dictators throughout history, every single person that has worked on Wall St. for the last 15 years, my ex wife, the entire C-Suite and Board of Directors at Monsanto, and Scott Walker, but the first dude he hadn’t had time to fuck up. Eve wasn’t even there yet to lead him to the path of iniquity.

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Love this shirt, especially on Valentine’s Day. She’s out there on the veranda thinking to herself, what the fuck did I get into, Jesus is all I need. Forget that I need a man, and scissoring once a month when the Mother Superior is away ain’t cuttin’ it. Thank God for these damn butts or I don’t think I could uphold the the Mother Mary tradition up in here.

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Merry Christmas. What’s more appropriate than a Jesus shirt on this holiday that celebrate his birth.

What Wouldn’t Jesus Do. Another legitimate question, though in the example on the shirt they have Jesus hang gliding, which, presumably, they are saying is an adventure activity he would not participate in. But, you have to think with all the hiking, and ballsy moves like clearing out the money changers from the temple and dying for people’s sins, and being resurrected, that maybe he could handle a little adrenaline daredevil sporting type activity. So, I love What Wouldn’t Jesus Do  T Shirt because it does depict him hang gliding, which is a great way to picture Jesus, especially since he has long hair but a receding hairline. And, because he’s doing this activity in a robe and bare feet, and you can tell he’s totally  in to it.

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The Chou t shirt store specializes in original gamer and nerdy culture designs that will be right up your alley if you spend more than 72% of your time plugged into a game system or on a computer. They hail from Green Bay, Wisconsin (hey neighbor…I’m in Milwaukee!).

Under staff it says Daniel Chou, so I’m thinking we’re talking about a one-man operation or a very small operation, which I love to support, along with prodigious use of the word “apparel.” Some of the shirt concepts seem to be rehashes that I’ve seen before (ie: Canada America’s Hat and Camping is In-Tents), but there are enough original concepts to make a visit to Chou Store worth your while, especially if you take advantage of the Shirt of the Week that’s on super special — $10 at time of posting, which is a pretty sweet deal.

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This is good if you wear it if your a very large individual with fat rolls or a fit and trim individual that’s squeezing into a tight t shirt. The fat person shows that he has a wonderful sense of humor and it is a positive message, because there is a god that has a rotund body. The fit person is showing off, but it’s tolerable because they have fat Buddha on their shirt, which makes it funny.

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Enter the T-Shirt Chamber

by on December 13, 2010

If you like your funny t shirts a little more on the offensive or at least extra dirty side, then T Shirt Chamber is probably a site you want to check out. Tea Bagging seems to be a favorite pastime, and I’m not talking about marching on Washington D.C. with a bunch of fat, racist white people.

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Seven Deadly Sins T Shirt

by on December 10, 2010

Okay, I guess you can’t really analyze this shirt without pulling out the seven deadly sins and going over them one at a time. But first, according to www.deadlysins.com:

“The Seven Deadly Sins are those transgressions which are fatal to spiritual progress. You probably commit some of them every day without thinking about the rich tradition of eternal damnation in which you’re participating.”

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