Religious T Shirts

Religious T Shirts, and by religious I mean pretty much blasphemous, sacrilegious, and funny Jesus, but still, those accurately fall under the religion tag.

i survived the mayan apocalypse 2012 t shirt I Survived The Mayan Apocalypse 2012 T Shirt

Get This Shirt From Snorg Tees

If you buy this shirt prior to December 21, 2012, you’re very cocky, but I like that. You’re confident you can make it through the trials and tribulations that are soon to be wrought across continents. If you do make it through…and that’s a BIG IF…you can certainly wear this tee proudly. In fact, I’d consider not ever taking it off as a sacrament of thanksgiving for life, no matter how miserable it becomes after the astroids and financial meltdowns and tidal waves and tornados.

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god made your favorite team lose t shirt God Made Your Favorite Team Lose T Shirt

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Now there’s something that isn’t talked about enough. The separation of God and sports. It is pretty ludicrous to point to the heavens after you successfully run out a bunt single, ‘cuz in a seriousness…God doesn’t give a shit about your sporty efforts. True story. In fact, she gets so fed up with being called out as a fair weather fan, she has started flipping players off at stadiums across the nation.

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Mighty Thorium T Shirt

by on December 5, 2012

mighty thorium t shirt Mighty Thorium T Shirt

Get This Tee From 6 Dollar Shirts

Another nice tie in with the super hero with the hammer (I guess technically he’s a Norse god), and the Periodic Table of the Elements. He’s bustin’ through all those other superfluous elements and making his might known. The Hammer! The Winged Helmet! Yes!

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santa hates jewish kids t shirt Santa Hates Jewish Kids T Shirt

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You hear a lot of Jewish comedians talk about their issues growing up without Christmas. Sounds kind of painful. Definitely would be traumatic seeing old Saint Nick pissing on the candles. Hey…if you remember the Maccabes, Santa is gonna think you’re a nerd and skip your house. You do the fish and dreidel and shit.

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take back christmas t shirt Taking Back Christmas T Shirt

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Remember the real reason for the season, and if that’s too hard because of all the goddamned commercialism and the Black Fridays and Cyber Mondays and asshole kids demanding all the bullshit they saw on Youtube, then we need to take a little more forceful action, like praying to Jesus to beat Santa down with a baseball bat. Amen.

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Merry Krampus T Shirt

by on November 27, 2012

merry krampus t shirt Merry Krampus T Shirt

Get This Tee From the 6 Dollar Shirts

Wait, why isn’t this dude more prominent in the Christmas mythology. Krampus is the punisher of children. Motivate on both ends. Be good get gifts. Be bad get whipped and sent to hell. Seems reasonable and balanced. And that tongue is spectacular.

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Jesus Fresco Fail T Shirt

by on November 26, 2012

jesus fresco fail t shirt Jesus Fresco Fail T Shirt

Get This Shirt From Snorg Tees

It’s enough that this shirt is called Jesus Fresco Fail. That’s funny all by itself, but wait…you get a picture too. Shephard Fairey would be proud of the attempt to shoehorn Jesus into his ubiquitous OBEY poster style.

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are you there god its me a mario t shirt Are You There God? Its a Me! Mario! T Shirt

Get This Shirt From Busted Tees

How do people know Mario talks like this? I’m going to make a big confession right now. I’ve never played Super Mario Brothers or maybe I did once at a friend’s house, and I sucked so bad they didn’t let me play again.

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christian bale jewish bale muslim bale t shirt Christian Bale Jewish Bale Muslim Bale T Shirt

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It’s fun as an agnostic to pretend that certain actors profess to follow different religions, and then to think about what they would look like as a typical believer in that particular sect. Apparently, other people in the world, including the designer of this shirt, find the exercise fascinating as well. Thus, Christian Bale is obviously has Jesus in his heart, but what if he was a Jew or Muslim.

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Naskarma T Shirt

by on October 5, 2012

naskarma t shirt Naskarma T Shirt

Get This Shirt from Ashirtload

What goes around comes around. Get it. That’s all there is to car racing. Going around. Coming around. Basically, it’s 500 Karma laps and a few brutal smash ups to get your adrenaline pumping as you sit there cheering on the GoDaddy car, and sucking on a corn dog. Fastest growing sport in America. People turning to their spiritual side in these dark times…obviously.

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science doesnt care about your beliefs t shirt Science Doesnt Care About Your Beliefs T Shirt

Get This Shirt from 604 Republic

I was just talking to science the other day, and she was having a bit of crisis of unfaith. Like she said: “sometimes I feel like you need an anchor in this world, no matter how absurd and childish. It will be another 1000 years before any of this shit makes complete sense from a scientific perspective. Maybe it’s more sane just to believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful dude hanging out in the sky that listens to each and every one of our prayers…JK…fuck your beliefs.”

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Numba One Shunna T Shirt

by on September 27, 2012

numba one shunna t shirt Numba One Shunna T Shirt

Get This Shirt from Tuesday Tees

You see, the Amish shun things in this modern world, including electricity and automobiles. It’s a simple life they lead, which most likely brings them closer to god. I wouldn’t know since I’m staring at a screen 82% of my waking hours. That’s a godless way to live. I can only aspire to Amish simplicity and richness of life.

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