Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

This is like when you are going around the room telling people a little bit about yourself before you go through a group discussion on the nuances of workplace safety. You have the special OSHA representative, who can do this presentation in her sleep, but still is able to realize it is new for everyone in the room.

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You know you’re an impressive specimen with impressive skills, so everywhere you go people are naturally impressed. However, sometimes, there are insecure people that play it off like they’re super awesome that think the best way to approach your awesomeness is to act like it’s not there. Like ignoring the six foot purple onion ring in the middle of the room. It’s impossible to pull it off like they really are not impressed, because they can’t help being so.

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Well, I can only speak for myself on this, and, yes, it’s true, I never use cursive. Ever. Hell, I barely write at all and can tell when I do, because it looks and feels like I’m a palsied Rhesus monkey trying to write a phone message down for a co-worker or what not. Maybe I should have stuck with the cursive rather than print. Maybe my writing wouldn’t be worse than a physician’s on a prescription.

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If this is in reference to something I have no idea what it is. Are you telling me I’m going to need to do 19 seconds of Internet research and figure out what this means? What do I even type into Google. “Pixelated sunglasses dog with attitude?” “Deal With It Dog?” Smug dog. What’s going on here. Okay, obviously I don’t know anything. This is a rather old Internet meme. But, now I’m going to explain why the shirt is cool without knowledge of the history.

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I like this one. It rhymes which is always a solid t shirt play in my mind. It’s brief, blunt and makes a very clear point. Of course, I think the message of the Words are for Nerds T shirt may be a little convoluted in this day and age, because nerd culture is now all online, digital, gaming, etc. You don’t think of nerds as book readers any more. Book readers are more like dinosaurs now.

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As long as you don’t mind the cost, which is a little fondling. If you can get past that, then, yes, strangers definitely have the best candy. Isn’t that weird how you’re warned not to take candy from strangers…like that wisdom is passed down from generation to generation. Because everybody, since Moses, knows that kids are really, really stupid for candy and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they are in a home that doesn’t do much candy for the general health of the family.

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Scare Bear T shirt

by on January 12, 2011

Little wordplay and funny image hijinx. You see this is a mockery of care bear, which are those sickly sweet characters for the entertainment of the children, and the ball tripping Deadheads that stare at the rainbow themes and think about the Universal Mind, peace, lentils, and balling that bra less redhead in the van to spots down. Instead, you have a Scare Bear T Shirt with a fang baring bear that would scare the children and harsh the hippie buzz.
Of course, Snorg Tees, added a little rainbow bib to the scary bear, which is a very nice touch that will bring the children in, before ultimately frightening them with the fangs and scarring them for 27 years, until the therapy kicks in.

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I Piss Excellence T Shirt

by on January 11, 2011

When you got it you got it. Might as well flaunt it. Show it off. Share it with others. Wear the I Piss Excellence T Shirt. Right? Am I right?

And this is the best way to say your shit don’t stink without actually saying that, because that would be offense to those with delicate constitutions and young children. This particular sentiment will pass the community standards test but will still get the point across, which is I’m Fucking Awesome. Of course, you do have to meet the criteria to wear the shirt.

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So, I created two fairly new categories to place my t shirt reviews in: science and math. Unfortunately, I know so little about both that I don’t even know which category to put this post in. Of course, I could do a little Internet research, and hope that within 16 seconds I figure out what it means before my attention fades. Thing is I don’t feel good about this Hey Baby What’s Your Sine  T Shirt. I mean, there are triangles and I know that geometry is involved, so I’m probably pretty safe putting the post in math, because, hold on to your seat, geometry is math.

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Or never say never…or never buy a shirt that is totally weak like this one. What am I saying, I’m trying to encourage sales here. Please, if you think this is a finely crafted wonder of the world, then there is nothing you can do but go ahead and purchase the Never Believe Generalizations T Shirt. If you think it’s stupid, then you need to cut me some slack because I’m under strict obligation to post about each and every Snorg Tees offering.

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What’s with Back to the Future being the most popular movie to shout out to on a t shirt? Seriously. How do the youth of today even know about that old ass movie and its terrible sequels. I guess there are just those pieces of pop culture that catch the zeitgeist and then have the staying power to remain. And, that is was the Flux Capacitor Plus Delorean Plus 88 MPH Equals The Future T Shirt is telling you. That and that you should purchase it and wear it and make weird remarks to every bus driver on the east side of your town. Will you be one of the chosen ones?

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You have the epic meme and the fail meme, and the epic fail meme, and this captures all of them mixed up together, which is pretty neat. It’s a self affirmation that you don’t suck. That you’re not an epic fail. I think positive affirmations and NLP and all that crazy psychological, self help shit, talks about actually using the positive language rather saying what you are not, so this I’m Too Epic To Fail T Shirt may fall a bit short on taking you to the next level of your personal evolution, but it’s a pretty good shirt, which may be enough to convince you to pull out your wallet, grab that credit card, and purchase this little number.

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