Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Man this shirt makes me feel stupid. I feel like I’d have to take a semester of molecular biology just to get it. I know enzymes help digest food, but I suppose there’s probably a ton more types of enzymes, including those that are related to the study of DNA and figuring out a human’s genes. I do not know what I’m talking about, and I’m afraid my standard 29 second Google search will not alleviate my ignorance. Okay. Okay. I’ll give it a shot.

Read more on If I Were an Enzyme I’d Be DNA Helicase so I Could Unzip Your Genes T Shirt…


Nice little play on words here. Let’s not forget big roasted chicken and big grilled bratwurst. Oh wait, they doesn’t quite have the wordplay angle we’re looking for. Still, I’m super happy there are vegetarians in the world because that lessens the demand for meat, which reduces methane gas, and cow pie runoff, and chicken shit piles, and leaves more meat for me. Of course, I’m a snob and only eat hormone free, free range, grass-fed, clean meat, which is much more humane (as much as treating a creature nice prior to killing them and eating them can be), and more healthy.

Read more on Becoming a Vegetarian is a Big Missed Steak T Shirt…


Let’s see what we have here. Sombrero on a tequila bottle. One of those furry winter hats from Russia with a star on the front on a bottle of vodka. A beat up old cowboy hat on some whiskey. Pirate hat on the rum. And a sophisticated top hat on the gin, because top hatters drink G&T’s. This is a lovely shirt. What would happen if you got all the drinkers represented on this Celebrate Diversity T Shirt in the same room, imbibing the alcohol of their choice.

Read more on Alcohol Celebrate Diversity T Shirt…


Pick up on this…Salt-N-Pepper nailed it with that Push It song.

This dance for everybody. Only the sexy people. So, if you’re not sexy, the next best thing to do is to get the lawn mower out and push it. Make sure you have the black mid-calf black socks and a real chunky boot or an off-brand white sneaker. Not sure if you have enough balls to wear boxers and a wife beater white tee. Maybe just cut off jean shorts and the wife beater and the sunglasses that flip down over your regular glasses frames.

Read more on Lawn Mower Push It Push It Real Good T shirt…


We have a pun here, which I like to classify as wordplay in my system just to keep the categories clean and succinct. I like the simplicity of the message. I like the artwork on this shirt. I like the fine high cheek bones of the model wearing the tee. Basically, I like everything about it and I’m trying to impress upon you that you should love it just as much, or perhaps, more.

Read more on Beards They Grow On You T Shirt…


This is just a cool looking shirt. Han Solo was always cool. Harrison Ford was handsome and he had a bit of caustic wit and he always did it his way. Combine that with a weird and so shallow he was deep Andy Warhol and you have an amazing collision of substance and style and pop culture. I almost feel like if too many people wear this Double Solo Warhol T Shirt it may create an pop culture vortex that will suck up any and all that enjoy movies, music, and television…and viral Youtube videos. Almost like the Second Coming of Christ, except instead of Christians being whisked away it’s entertainment addicts.

Read more on Star Wars Double Han Solo Warhol T Shirt…


Love sticking a video game extra life green mushroom, into a real live combat situation. That soldier is reaching out like it’s his last chance to continue living in the hell that is war. It’s nice to switch it up, because most Mario Bros. Shirts are just kind of cute. This Green Mushroom 1 Up T Shirt brings a bit of gritty realism to the table. Planes dropping bombs in the background. A fighting man in fatigues. Strain on a more real looking face.

Read more on Super Mario Brothers Green Mushroom 1 Up T Shirt…


Polite as Fuck T Shirt

by on January 21, 2011

The thing that is amazing about this shirt is the size of the scripty font. It’s huge. Basically, you have the biggest “fuck” possible on your shirt. So, don’t wear this around the kids, please. They’re not ready to process this sort of edgy business. Now, if you’re 32-years-old or older then please enjoy the obscene contradiction and make your 32 and over friends laugh. Under 32, then I certainly hope you are not even reading this, and if you are, I’m sorry. You should go to confession. And, tell you mom, and probably go shovel the snowy sidewalks of your own volition, just to sort of make up for your transgression.

Read more on Polite as Fuck T Shirt…



Annamarie Tendler Dossier

After careful consideration,  I have determined that Busted Tees model Annamarie Tendler is my favorite t-shirt model. And that’s huge. Do you hear that? She’s the best and there is none better. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why. She looks sweet and edgy all at the same time.

Read more on Meet Busted Tees Model Annamarie Tendler…

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Such a cute sentiment…give this shirt to your girl. Give the tee to your boy. Or, go ahead and cruise the bars, clubs, and bowling alleys of the seedier part of your city and bump into someone you might want to get with a little later on and just point to the shirt. They’re going to be some hard ass, but this cute little train and your little move is going to soften their hearts so you can get them in bed after a particularly hard night of drinking.

Read more on I Choo Choo Choose You T Shirt…


The classic drinking song. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on wall. Of course, this probably needs to be amended to something like 99 bottles of beer on my t shirt, 99 bottles of beer. Cut one out and leave no doubt. 98 bottles of beer on my t shirt. Trouble is even you only make it through half of the song or even a quarter of the song you have a pretty mangled 99 Bottles of Beer T Shirt.

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Down For Whatever T Shirt

by on January 18, 2011

Sometimes people just aren’t that opinionated. They just kind of go with the flow. Generally, funny t shirts are opinionated, so most of them are not for the least opinionated of our brethren…until now.

Read more on Down For Whatever T Shirt…