Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Ahhhh. This isn’t funny. This is sad. That poor pig pinata is being abused. Some blindfolded kid is swinging a bat at him just as this picture is taken. I mean obviously this isn’t a picture, but it’s an artist’s rendering of the photograph that captured this fearful moment. Talk about child abuse this is it. Those children really are abusing the poor animal…and guess what: they’re going to be rewarded for it. Candy and little bits of plastic schwag for hitting the mark and busting that pig open.

Read more on Pinatas Victims of Child Abuse T Shirt…

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This is a highly charged political statement dressed up as a benign little spinner game of chance. It’s like a twister spinner, or some other game with colorful pieces a child would play, except that there are countries with real people, real lives, and a real aversion to having the United States insert “democracy” into their behinds in the name of “freedom.”

Read more on Which Country Should We Screw Next T Shirt…

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What we have here is a thinking person’s wordplay shirt. And a good one at that. Not sure why our humanitarian is some fuzzy, one-eyed beastasaur, nor why our soon to be victim is eating some kind of nasty boiled spinach, but the message is still there and it’s still funny.

Read more on If Vegetarians Eat Vegetables Beware Humanitarians T Shirt…

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Poker Hands T Shirt

by on February 7, 2011

Hey poker’s been going strong for like 10 years now, but there’s always room for a newbie or a noob as we veterans of the poker wars like to call ’em. And, if you are a noob, you need to understand the game and the best way to start that understanding is to know the hands and their relative value. And, of course, the best way to know the hands is to have this Poker Hands T Shirt, which lists them all in order.

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Very nice little bit of wordplay going on right her. Jay-Z got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one in his tune 99 problems. Now, you tweak that up with a comedy mind, and all of a sudden you had a perfect 100 donuts, but then some bitch ate one.

Read more on Jay-Z I Got 99 Donuts ‘Cause a Bitch Ate One T Shirt…

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This is a very important shirt to get in front of as many people as possible, because what you have here is the cutest animal in existence…the panda. You just want to cuddle, hug, pet, and wrestle these fluffy things, but, unfortunately, they’re very dangerous because they’re bears. So, you start to have your fun and all of a sudden your face is ripped off, and you are so shocked you can’t even scream as the cute little schnoogms pulls your left arm off. Yes, I’m getting graphic and gruesome here to prove a point.

Read more on Warning: Pandas Are Bears T Shirt…

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Not sure where this one is exactly coming from, but it could be funny in the right context. First, girlfriends that have had a nasty fight. Boom. When you are ready to let bygones be bygones, pull on this Let’s Hug It Out Bitch T Shirt and meet them some place. It’s like taking the temperature of the other person. If they’re still really pissed they’re not going to like it and will probably throw a drink in your face, but that would probably happen anyway. If they’re sort of pissed, this shirt will probably break through and make them smile and pave the way for reconciliation. If they’re not pissed you’ll have a really good laugh, and certainly will hug it out and all will be right with the world.

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This is a funny shirt. First of all, 2012 looks like it’s going out with a bang, but that doesn’t even have the elegance and grace of a mushroom cloud. It’s more percussive and violent and ugly. Not sure why people are all standing around at Ground Zero on this bombing. Or maybe it’s New Year’s Eve and the Big Apple drops and bango, it’s the end of the East coast and that triggers more explosives across the country and then the world and it’s all gone. I was figuring on a more subtle sort of financial meltdown, where it slowly begins to dawn on people that Wall Street has completely destroyed everything and that the government was complicit, not putting anyone in jail, not hanging any of the dirty thieves from lamp posts, not burying Ben Bernanke alive up to his neck and slathering honey on his face.

Read more on Party Like It’s 2012 T Shirt…

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This is the other shirt in the two shirt series commemorating that cinematic masterpiece Dude Where’s My Car. If you missed yesterday’s installment, this is the tattoo Seann (really…two n’s) William Scott gets playing Chester Greenburg in the movie. I actually have not seen this film…I know, I know…inexcusable and shame on me. It won’t happen again, but how do they go into a tattoo shop and not know what they are getting? Must have been some crazy hijinx because that’s what always happens in those two stupid buddy movies. Right?

Read more on Dude Where’s My Car Tattoo Sweet T Shirt…

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Nice mock tattoo in honor of the Dude Where’s My Car scene where they get tattoos, and Ashton Kutcher asks Seann William Scott what his says and Scott says “Dude, what’s mine say.” And Kutcher says “Sweet, what’s mine say,” and they keep doing this Who’s on First routine for a while, because you see the tattoos actually do say Dude and Sweet.

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I liked this movie, and this was a nice scene in the car driving up to the ski resort. John Cusack’s character, Adam talks about how he broke up with the chick he had lost his virginity to in one of the shuttered bars in the ghost town that used to be a hoppin’ resort. Craig Robinson as Nick Weber, and Rob Corddry, as Lou Dorchen, recall how hot the girl was and can’t believe Adam dumped her. Adam was second guessing it as well, because all they did was listen to records and have sex.

Read more on Hot Tub Time Machine Great White Buffalo The One That Got Away T Shirt…

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The mix of the Bob Dobb character, straight-laced, middle manager, two kids, blonde, trim wife with dinner on the table every day at 6 pm, just as he walks in the door, combined with gangster sensibilities is always a good time. This Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangster T Shirt does not disappoint.

Read more on Geto Boys Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster T Shirt…

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