Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Meatghost T Shirt

by on February 21, 2011

I like this shirt. It’s gross and random and weird and cute all at the same time. This Meatghost only has one tooth left, a really blank stare, nice floating abilities, and a lot of blood drippings. I guess I’d be scared if I saw this thing hovering over the table or poppin’ out of the fridge. A little amused but ultimately scared, because paranormal meat sightings is out of the ordinary and a bit unknown and can certainly create fear.

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Shitty Mountains T Shirt

by on February 21, 2011

On a touristy looking shirt like this you expect to see Mt. Shasta, or the Ozarks, or Estes Park or something like that. Just a signal that you’ve been to a wonderful mountainous spot. But, here you get the misdirection, and that’s what cool about it. Sometimes you put all your effort into a tough task, you commit to a goal, and you reach the top, you summit the mountain, and you find out that the rewards are not there that the mountain wasn’t you thought it was and you feel dejected. This is the time you need to wear the Shitty Mountains T Shirt.

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Hey, this is funny on a several different levels. Normally these transformers turn into cars or planes or other cool things, so that they can’t be recognized easily on Earth, but here’s Optimus Prime, the leader of the good guys, putting on a funny nose and glasses disguise hoping the decepticons and the humans that don’t understand don’t recognize him. That’s pretty funny. The semi cab wasn’t working for him apparently. Actually, I think he’s trying to look more human so he can get with Megan Fox. Steal her from Shia LaBeouf’s character, Sam Wickiwhack.

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Hey God would never exhibit wrath toward the first dude he created. Adam was so innocent and pristine when he first got plopped on Earth. He was God’s guinea pig. How could God have so much anger toward him that early. I mean I can see this playing out with Vlad the Impaler, evil dictators throughout history, every single person that has worked on Wall St. for the last 15 years, my ex wife, the entire C-Suite and Board of Directors at Monsanto, and Scott Walker, but the first dude he hadn’t had time to fuck up. Eve wasn’t even there yet to lead him to the path of iniquity.

Read more on Michaelangelo Creation of Adam God’s Wrath T Shirt…

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This is in reference to the Business Time video from The Flight of the Conchords duo.

“You’re wearing that same ol’ ugly baggy t shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team building exercise you did for your old work several years ago. Team Building Exercise ’99 T Shirt.”

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Get a 1502 or higher. Guaranteed. That’s quite a guarantee, so if you want to qualify for a good school, and you’re in the Bayside High School area you may want to look up Bayside SAT Prep and get prepared for the biggest test of your life. This, of course, is a Saved By the Bell reference. Zack Morris wasn’t a particularly great student but he did score a 1502 on his SATs and got into Yale. Good for him.

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I have no idea what this is about. I’ve never played in Super Mario. I know mushrooms give you power ups, lives and more, but I don’t think anybody is eating this dude who kind of looks like that Jackass midget, Jason “Wee Man” Acuna, with a big Mario mushroom looking turban, and a buff bod. So, maybe you become friends with him or punch him or what the hell. I don’t know, and I don’t want to go and try to find out.

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The house on this shirt looks like it’s in party mode 24/7. It’s got a party hat that I doubt ever comes off, and it has a red door and a red bush, and red lights shining out the windows. That my friend is a party. And, I’m not making allusions to red door churches, red bush women, and red light districts. That would be like a massive binge, but it would be unsustainable. Whereas sticking with a permanent house party hat is something you can pull off for years.

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Keg Line Polo Shirt

by on February 16, 2011

Somehow I’ve missed this shirt in the Snorg Tees collection. Could be I’m always on the look out for t shirts and don’t notice a polo shirt. But, this is really kind of funny. Usually that polo logo stands for classiness and a certain social class, but now you have a chance to flip that shit upside down by wearing the Keg Line Polo Shirt. That’s a little keg embroidered on your polo. No one will even notice until they get up close and at that point it’s too late. They’re going to see it and either be offended that you’ve made the upscale polo crass, or they’re going to be blown away at how awesome your sense of humor and love of beer is. Either way it makes a statement and what’s better than making statements without even having to say a word.

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Love this shirt, especially on Valentine’s Day. She’s out there on the veranda thinking to herself, what the fuck did I get into, Jesus is all I need. Forget that I need a man, and scissoring once a month when the Mother Superior is away ain’t cuttin’ it. Thank God for these damn butts or I don’t think I could uphold the the Mother Mary tradition up in here.

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Live a Little T Shirt

by on February 15, 2011

This shirt needs absolutely no explanation because it is farkin’ hilarious from the get. You know what I’m going to do to honor the brilliance of this Live a Little T Shirt? I’m going to list every little thing that shows up in its grid of awesomeness.

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In Good We Trust T Shirt

by on February 15, 2011

Busted Tees mentions that this is the most chill religious statement since the Sixth commandment, which just happens to be “Thou Shall Not Kill.” I like this notion of chill religion. Moses hittin’ the acid and trippin’ balls, thinking he’s talking to a burning bush, and carving stone tablets in like 6 hours with cool rules like thou shalt not kill and thou shalt not cock block and thou shalt not talk shit about your bro and thou shalt not be a dick or douche…and stuff like that. Then, there’s Jesus handing out tabs to the disciples when they’re on a boat then tricking them into believing he’s walking on water while they trip balls, and indoctrinating them into the cult of Christ with sweet precepts like be cool broseph, and pass the wine and weed ’til everybody is good and buzzed and stoned, and forget money for a minute and just have some fun.

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