Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

God damn this is a good song. It doesn’t beat around the bush. It doesn’t play coy. Sir Mix-A-Lot can not lie. He likes big butts. Baby Got Back. “I like ’em round and big.”

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That’s a great name. You have THE MOUTH of a vampire…we know this because those canines are long and sharp, and that mouth has the look of an orifice that has ingested raw, fresh blood often. Then, you have these disembodied mouths floating around on a background of houndstooth pattern, which if you think about it, deepens the word/image play. Sharp vampire canine teeth hovering over the very eye-catching zig zag of the houndstooth fabric. That’s quite lovely and all the reason you need to get a Vampire Meets the Hound T Shirt for your own self.

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Only the winners survive. This isn’t the Adonis DNA training camp t shirt. This is the Tiger Blood Training Camp T Shirt. You have to bring your A game just to make it into the camp. Sheen is going to be there with his intense focus, and he’ll be watching every entrant, and if you don’t measure up, if your not buzzing on a higher frequency then you are not going to make it. Sheen is going to have one of his girlfriends, or Sean Penn, or Colin Farrel or Mel Gibson, escort you off the premises. Then where will you be. With all of the other schlubs that are not winning and just living vicariously through the real winners.

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Bar Fight T Shirt

by on March 9, 2011

I’m going to try to give you a play-by-play on what’s happening on this Bar Fight T Shirt. Somehow, everything on the liquor shelf at the neighborhood bar has become pissed. Some kind of misunderstanding. Somebody is sleeping with someone they shouldn’t or something. Anyway, the flask or fifth got ahold of a cork screw and he’s menacing the bottle of wine, who happens to grabbing the little sword sticks with olives from the martini to protect himself. Meanwhile, the martini has the beer in a headlock and is popping open his top with a bottle opener. The beer has legs like the flask, but doesn’t have arms, so the only real way to get out of this situation is to run, and it looks like it’s too late for that. The flask has both arms and legs, so that’s going to be hard to deal with. The wine bottle and martini glass have arms so there next on the list in terms of odds of winning this brawl. Beer is going to lose. No doubt. Now, I’m not sure if there is any teaming up here or if it’s everybody for themselves.

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Nice little mashup of a king and a pirate on a playing card, which is always a nice place to start when building an interesting design. Playing cards are so dang pleasing to the eye with their intricate detail and their social classes.

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Fencing DTF T Shirt

by on March 8, 2011

This is a sneaky way to get the whole Down to Fuck (DTF) thing out there without actually saying Fuck, because Busted Tees throws a little misdirection out there by putting a couple of fey fencers on the shirt doing their thrusts.

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On Off Switch Shirt

by on March 8, 2011

This is one of those technological tees. You know the one with the equalizer where the graph bars bump up and down to the beats of the music (god, I did not explain that well…obviously not a sound engineer). Well, this shirt flips to on when you put it on. Then, when you pull it off it flips to off. Think of it lying in a heap on the bed. Oops that just triggered a dirty thought about this model, and how I’d like to flip her shirt switch to off if you know what I mean. Huh huh huh.

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College Humor put together a chillingly accurate portrayal of what college is really like in the form of a University advertisement. It’s pretty bitchin’ and humorous, and cuts right to the chase. It’s the honest college ad that says “Why not consider the school U.S. News and World Report once called ‘adequate’.”

Read more on College Humor QSU Quendelton State University T Shirt…


This is kind of funny. It’s nice to show the ladies in the bar where you stand right from the start. If you can convey that you are a gentle man, but open to getting a little rough in the sack if that’s what is needed, then you’re going to score massive bonus points. A woman doesn’t want a limp rag for a man, but she also doesn’t want a bulldozer that has no romantic skills whatsoever. You have to prove you well-rounded and balanced and this I’m a Lover Not a Fighter Unless You Like It Rough T Shirt is a great start.

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Fuck preparedness. You’re never going to be truly prepared when some random catastrophe strikes. It’s impossible. The canned food in the cellar ain’t gonna help. The weaponry hidden in the ceiling panels. The water purifier. The mystery tablets. Not going to do anything. The only thing you should always have on hand is a nice bottle of alcohol, so you can get drunk quickly and dance like a maniac. That’s the only real way to face insurmountable adversity. Like this is what Viggo should have done in The Road. Forget all the scrambling around and scrounging for food. Just break out that last bottle of bourbon and dance like a fool.

Read more on In the Event of An Emergency Get Drunk Dance Like No One’s Watching T Shirt…


Ninja Star T Shirt

by on March 8, 2011

It’s another ninja shirt and I think it’s quite clever. The ninja is inside the star. If you throw it hard enough and the magic tree of life, the ninja will be released and will be at your service for 21 years. Think of what you could accomplish with your own personal ninja. And, this, I must add, is a top-of-the-line, so good he got stuffed into a star by an evil wizard ninja. I mean, of course, you have him do the household chores…laundry, dishes, pick up dog doodoo in the backyard, shovel the walks. Wash and detail the car. Paint the house. Shake the handle on the toilet. Run to the store for food items, tampons, and condoms whether you use them or not.

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Zipperstein T Shirt

by on March 7, 2011

Can someone help me with this one. I know that Frankenstein dude. He’s a pretty classic monster, but the mashup combines him with Zipperface. Is that a shoutout to the obscure horror movie from 1992? Or is zipperface now just a Halloween makeup phenomenon? On this Zipperstein T Shirt, you have guy that’s got some male pattern baldness going on, along with a cigar and a cruel looking face. Frankenstein was never that cruel looking. He was just misunderstood. This dude looks like he just got out of the joint and is looking for some kind of action, including another self-mutilating session. Kind of creepy. Plus, check out that steam coming out of the unzipped skull. Yikes.

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