Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

It’s a dick joke. Yay. Everybody loves dick jokes. This Ask Me About My 12 Inch T Shirt would be especially funny on me, since I actually rock about 1.5 inches flaccid, and 4.25″ rock hard. I’m not lying I totally measured it in my mom’s basement. Yeah, that’s right ladies, I’m 40 and I still get rock hard.

Read more on Vinyl Record Ask Me About My 12 Inch T Shirt…


This is an absolutely spectacular shirt. The ruffles. The suit jacket. You can imagine this monkey has a tail sticking out of the tails in his colorful jacket. The knickers. Buckle shoes. Hosiery. Let your imagination run wild as you stare at this Forefather T Shirt. Look deep into the monkey’s eyes. Imagine that you are caressing it’s powdered wig. Enjoy the statesmanly white beard. And realize that Headline Shirts is making a statement that a lot of vocal individuals WILL NOT LIKE. Evolution happened!

Read more on Powdered Wig Monkey Forefather T Shirt…


Available in Men’s and Women’s Sizes.

This has to be a top candidate for one of the weirdest, creepiest, and awesomist shirts around. It basically took the ironic wolf shirt to the next level. Scratch that…I think it took that concept to its ultimate conclusion and it is awesome like the ocean is awesome or God is awesome. Scary and amazing and you want to jump in, but it totally takes you breath away to even think about letting go and entering the unknown waters.

Read more on Full Moon Werewolf Sax Solo T Shirt…


Sup Brah T Shirt

by on March 20, 2011

If you’re sitting in the Midwest right now, still freezing your ass past late March, then you know what I’m talking about when I say you need to bring a little of that 80 degree beach weather into your life. And, really, there’s no better way to do that than this Sup Brah T Shirt. Because this is surfer speak and nothing brings the briny blast and sun bleached laid back vibe like a surfer.

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Wow. This one really hits close to home and by home I mean to say my mom’s basement. I really have been doing  some soul searching and have decided I have to make some changes. I need to get out of this basement a little bit, and I think the greatest excuse in the world to do it would be to hit various karaoke nights in night time establishments throughout the city and practice my karaoke.

Read more on I’m Known to Rock the Microphone Karaoke Legend T Shirt…


Unlucky Rabbit T Shirt

by on March 19, 2011

This shirt is disgusting and sad and there are probably 21 million people in the world that it appeals to, so I’m going to review it for the degenerates. That poor rabbit was down on his luck. Divorced. Lost his job. Every one of his 92 kids hated him. Until, one day, lying under the bridge it dawned on him. I’m going to turn this thing around. Rabbit feet are supposed to be lucky, but they’re not working for me, so maybe I have to wear one around my neck rather than just have them naturally at the end of my leg.

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Such a delicious little wordplay and a terrific image on this Comb Over to the Wild Side T shirt.

Let’s break it down. Dude has the male pattern baldness big time, so to hang on a little longer before he just embrasses the clown hairdo or goes ahead and does a Michael Jordan shave, he grows those little side hedgerows real long…at least the right side. And before he leaves the house every morning he carefully comes the long hairs across the bald expanse to the other side. And, now the shiny pate doesn’t blind people, but then again it’s not fooling anyone.

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This is very good advice. If you have dreams of movin’ on up in life you have to start somewhere and that somewhere is spending every last bit of credit you have to fake like you have already made it. Get into a house way over your head. Drive something that impresses but puts a big time hurtin’ to your finances. Wear way overpriced clothing, including haute couture and jeans that cost over $200.

Read more on Now Remember Kids Fake It ‘Til You Make It T Shirt…


Shark Punch T Shirt

by on March 16, 2011

Dude. Wicked uppercut by the dude that got his diving equipment at a pawn shop like three miles inland from the cove. He even disregards the common advice to aim for the nose and goes straight for the chin, because that’s what kind of badass he is. Not to mention he’s wearing knee pads from the 70s, sneakers with buckles wrapped around them, and that old ass diver mask that probably doesn’t even work. In fact, it’s kind of sad, he does this thing to the shark, who just swims away defeated, but Mr. Uppercut actually dies on this dive because the helmet is too heavy and he’s not actually connected to any oxygen. But, it’s good that we wear this Shark Punch T Shirt, because it celebrates the good times.

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Steve Buscemi plays this dude Nucky Thompson in the HBO show Boardwalk Empire, who is based on a real life dude named Nucky Johnson. Seems like a pretty interesting cat. Kind of ran the rum running racket and the gambling racket on the Atlantic City Boardwalk during prohibition. Any money for protection to continue running illegal operations also went through Nucky, so he certainly was the de facto treasurer.

Read more on Boardwalk Empire Re-elect Enoch Nucky Thompson Atlantic City Treasurer T Shirt…


Is this simply one of those state shirts and it’s a mild joke about Myrtle Beach? Or is this some sort of reference to a crazy moment on a whacky sitcom? I’m guessing it’s just a goof on South Carolina that is meant to capture all of Busted Tees South Carolina fans…and there are millions of them.

Read more on South Carolina The Myrtle Capital of the World T shirt…


This is like wearing your own personal PSA message. It’s a good reminder. Of course, how often do you hear loose lips as a euphemysm for talking too much or not having enough of a reign on what you say and who you say it too. It’s more like a loose tongue. Loose lips sounds like an aging porn star condition. Ewwww. Sorry that was uncalled for.

Read more on Loose Lips Sink Ships T Shirt…