Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.
Fat penguin is drinking a soda and he’s happy and he’s ready to be on your chest and help break the ice with the people you want to get to know at the bar, the party, whatever. Do you need just a little leg up in starting a conversation with a stranger? Well, this Fat Penguin Is Trying to Break the Ice T Shirt is the perfect little tool for you. Wear it every time you have ice breaking needs.
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Apparently, PB&J time is 12:17 because that’s what it shows on this sandwich clock. Also, that’s some weird colored jelly, like it’s an off brand or it’s a weird fruit like passion fruit or something. However, you still have to give this It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time T Shirt some respect because the food has stood the test of time and has been a favorite throughout the generations.
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Wordplay up in here and I love it. Normally, you’re talking long term goals that have multiple steps like get this entry level job, work there for a few years, see if there are opportunities to move up, if not find something else that has management opps. Then, move into the C-Suite after 7-10 years in management, and make the six-figure income, get the dream house, the sports car, the maid, and the nanny. Send kids private schools. All that stuff. But, with this My Long Term Goal Is To Get Rich Quick T shirt there’s a short cut worked into the timeline. And really life is too short eating shit in middle management. Either get rich quick or die tryin’, which, if your not familiar with rap in the early 2000s is 50 Cent’s album title (paraphrased) and, lo and behold, the name of his feature film, which apparently sucked balls.
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I love the fishing language women use about men. First of all, most women know nothing about fishing, but they’ve probably rolled their eyes enough as they walk through the living room and see their man watching a fishing show on TV, when they should be chipping away at the honey do list. And, the dudes on fishing shows say “that’s a keeper” about every 2.5 minutes, so even though she’s not listening to the stupid show, she is subliminally getting hammered with that phraseology. Then, as she’s talking about her single friends, she keeps mentioning eligible bachelors that could be keepers, which is sort of a funny turn of events, because really they don’t want that man to have anything to do with the fishing shows or anything else that involves sitting on your ass for hours at a time, ignoring the woman and the list of shit she wants him to do.
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Not everybody knows this about male deer. They are wild. Let’s talk about the epic fights over does. Or how about the boombox in the antlers ritually placed with the 8th point (I actually have no idea how the points on the antlers work, and instead of trying to get away with a random mention of the 8th point, I decided to come clean and admit my ignorance…I have a lot of readers that are avid hunters, and I didn’t want them to think I was an idiot…at least more of an idiot than they already think I am). Wait, I’m going to go with the truth on this as well. I have no idea if I have a ton of hunter readers. Actually, it’s probably a more accurate guess to say that only 1 in 500 visitors to this site has ever gone hunting.
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Hey, I recently did a raving Polly & Crackers Review and now I’ve discovered that you can get free shipping on your purchase through April 20, 2011 if you use this code: F021. Go Shopping Now!
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Busted Tees is getting in on the relief effort in Japan by offering this Tumblr Japan T Shirt. At least I think that’s what it says in Japanese. Whatever the case it looks cool and it’s blue and it’s for a good cause. Japan was devasted by the 9.0 earthquake, the tsunami, and the resulting nuclear power plant breach. They need as much help as they can get. This way you get a great shirt to wear and you’re helping out. That’s what they call a win-win in the business and that’s the perfect state we’re always seeking.
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This is the rock star lifestyle and it is to be aspired to. But you have to plan early. Put in the work required to build your lifestyle into the perfection that is the message on this Up All Night Sleep All Day T Shirt. Cultivate the guitar playing. Or the the singing. Or the drums. Learn how to hit three pointer consistently and stay up late after the basketball games. Or do some sort of work at home gig, so you can work whenever, wherever you want. Then, start making it happen. Live the night life. Sleep when only the boring people are doing their sad commuter thing.
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Total conversation starter. Wear this Somebody Lied To You T Shirt and point at people in the bar that look like they’ve been misled. Maybe it’s the terrible orange tan they have…point at them then point at your shirt. Somebody lied to you about that tan looking good. Or if the DJ is playing a song with autotune, you point at them and then at your shirt and explain that autotune is the shittiest addition to music since the sickly 80s soprano sax/synthesizer combination.
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It is time to celebrate man. The work week is over. Kick off your shoes, sit back and relax. Drink a cold one. Boss the kids around. Smoke a doobie in front of your mom. Whatever. It’s the weekend. Or if you’re younger, the weekend the perfect time to organize threesomes. Not so practical during the week when you have classes in the morning and homework at night, but the weekend was made for adventure. I sort of sound like a beer commercial or something, but the reality is you find more truth in a beer commercial than you do a full year’s worth of Congressional sessions. Did I even say that right.
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I like this a lot. I think I want to make it my motto in life. But, before I live it 100% I need to get the I’ve Got a Degree in Maxin’ and Relaxin’ T Shirt, so I can constantly remind myself of my MO. Work hard. Play hard. And even within both of those pursuits, there are bursts of work and then relax. Pound out 25 minutes of un-interupted computing, then take 5 away from the monitor. Maxin and relaxin.
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I just posted a review of Polly & Crackers, a seriously interesting player in the funny t shirt business. Take your time with this site. At first it looks like a bunch of poorly designed, super weird stuff, but it totally grows on you, and you see there’s a method to the mad randomness.
It’s like a band you don’t think you like at first, but you know there’s something there, so you keep listening, and the layers start to reveal themselves and all of a sudden their album is one of your favorites and in constant rotation on the iPod. In fact, I think I’m in danger of becoming obsessed. Proceed at your own risk. I mean even that logo grows on you. Polly is a fine clean font. Crackers is jacked. And that little girl is cussing like a sailor.
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