Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Not exactly sure what this means but I’m going to try and work out where I think this Booty Bumps Say No T Shirt. Dig if you will a picture of you and me engaged in a dance off in the club. Maybe it’s teams. We’re doing some sweet break dancing. Pop locking. Kicks and spins. Maybe we’re taking turns. My turn then yours. Maybe to indicate that I’m done with my set, I sidle up to your side and swing my ass to the side so it hits your ass. Your turn. Booty Bump. Maybe it’s an overused move. Maybe it has been determined by the taste makers that it’s just not an aestetically pleasing movement. Whatever, this shirt from Polly and Crackers is telling you not to do it.

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Happy Cesar Chavez Day! Dude did The Work when it came to getting migrant farm workers a better shake, so I salute him and his United Farm Workers organization. I ain’t no liberal (well sometimes I am, when it aligns with common sense), but I think humane conditions and decent pay were part of the agenda, which sound like pretty reasonable requests. If you agree you probably should make the leap into purchase of this very appealing Latin America T Shirt.

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What we have is wordplay. Do you know it? It’s a play on the phrase, center of the universe…and if you wear this shirt you are freely admitting to suffering from a little meglomania, which is a sexy thing to confess, especially as a first impression. It’s better than going all Beck on someone and saying “I’m a loser baby.”

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What you really need is a tshirt with the colors of the emergency broadcast system on painted on a nice soft, comfortable t shirt. Seriously. Beyond shelter, food, water, 78% fair trade chocolate bars, and inalienable rights as a human, there is clothing, and this Emergency Broadcast System T Shirt qualifies as a basic necessity. It’s random. It’s colorful. And, people may recognize it because they’ve been up watching TV late at night and seen “this is a test…only a test.”

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I like this one. Mohawk, leather jacket, wiry mean, dark eye socket recesses, Fear playing Let’s Have a War in the background, and the dude’s drinking an appletini in a red tinged glass. It’s enough of a disconnect to cause hemmorraging in the brain if you’re not careful. Do you like this Lush T Shirt as much as me? Let me know in the comments.

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Shady Bitch T Shirt

by on March 30, 2011

Get it…she has cool shades and she’s blonde so that means she’s a bitch. Right? I hope you don’t take this the wrong way if you’re a blond girl or woman. I don’t really mean it, unless it’s dyed blond. Then, my statement of fact blond = bitch still stands. Actually, I know some nice ones, so maybe I’ll need to re-assess that rule of thumb. Anyways, the word-image play still stands. The other way you could do this Shady Bitch T Shirt concept is have a dog standing under a leafy tree. Am I right or am I right?

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Of course, the Legend of Zelda game is a supra classic that all the gamer geeks worship to oblivion. Part of that fervor includes buying up every tshirt that references the game, and I’m certain that will include one of the best, which is this I Potion Zelda T Shirt.

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Dr. The Who T Shirt

by on March 29, 2011

Let me explain this. You have a mashup right here. Dr. Who is an old television program that was part metaphysical sci-fi, part dorky. It seems that maybe there’s a remake out there now, so that’s not very interesting. And, The Who, of course, was a really overrated band from the UK that pumped out about three good songs and 97 terrible ones. Plus, their guitarist, Peter Townsend, got caught looking at young things he shouldn’t have been looking at. He did give the world the windmill guitar strum and the smashing guitar schtick so that’s pretty cool but that Internet disgression is hard to forgive. So, you have The Who logo with the words Dr. Who on this finely crafted Dr. The Who T Shirt.

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I never connected emo with cutter, but I guess I should have as this Emo: A Cut Above the Wrist T Shirt attests. And, if you like to make fun of mopey emo people with bad posture, eye liner, and black hair, then this shirt is perfect for you. So what if it will probably cause the emos that see it to cut a little deeper in their next razor blade session. It’s totally worth it, because emos are such pussies and losers. Am I right or am I right?

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Mom Says High T Shirt

by on March 29, 2011

Mom is from the fifties and she’s smoking a joint and she has that pointy nose and high cheekbones that all white moms in the 50s had in the United States. And, she doesn’t care if you or your friends see her lighting up doobies because she’s liberated. Your Dad left her two months ago and at first it was hard, because your whole identity gets wrapped up in relationship, but when it breaks off abruptly, especially the way this one did (young cocktail waitress, trip to Mexico, lies, deceit, and an obvious charge on the credit card statement at the local adult “toys” shop. Well, it sped up Mom’s process. She immediately started to let deep feelings rule, and one of the new things she tried that has made it into consistent rotation in her life is getting high. Good for her.

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Good Samaritan T Shirt

by on March 29, 2011

That’s some random dude with his shirt off, and a hat and shades pushing some lady in a wheel chair. This is a little weird. The funny is in the random absurdity. I like it. This girl actually had a boyfriend that was trying to gain karma points by going out with a handicapped person, and she could tell but for a while she didn’t care, because she wanted some attention, but she ended up in his email account one day and saw some of the messages to his bro friends, and discovered that the whole relationship was a cold, calculated scam. So, she had shirtless dude come a little early to pick her up from her job, and he wheeled her out just as cold-heartless came in. She got him good. Just after this Good Samaritan T Shirt picture, she flipped him off and paid shirtless $5.

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This gets lost in the whole going extinct themselves thing, but dinosaurs really were the prophets of their age and they tried to spread the news in a timeless manner: sandwich boards. As you can see in the actual photograph that is printed on the Dinosaur The End is Near 2012 BC T Shirt, this T Rex had a humble heart and open mind and was primed to receive prophetic vibrations from the universe. He did all this to save humans, but with such a charitable nature, this poor dinosaur forget to look out for himself, and died when the great fire/flood/wind overtook the land, except for the caves where the humans dwell.

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