Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

This here is a different take on the hole talk to the hand phenomenon. Normally, you have some nerd that’s watched too much TV tell you to talk to the palm of their hand, because they disagree with your not so rosy assessment of Coldplay. The hand in question is basically like a “stop” sign, and it’s pretty clear you’re words are not welcome here.

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Birds T Shirt

by on May 16, 2011

I don’t think this Birds T Shirt is referencing the horror film directed by Alfred Hitchcock, but I guess you can’t be sure. It doesn’t feel as creepy and scary as that movie. Those birds don’t seem to be after anybody, but maybe that’s the kind of thinking that got the people in the movie in trouble. At first it was like oh look at that cute bird to oh my that’s quite an impressive flock of birds to oh my god that gaggle of birds is attacking me and I’m missing an eye. So, be careful with this tee. It might be the beginning of something dastardly. You never can tell.

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MechaHeart T Shirt

by on May 16, 2011

This is a cool, cool shirt. You have a mechanical heart with plastic valves and rivets and a ton of little gears making it pump. I’m not sure, but I think this was the original Jarvik 7 design. The other really sweet thing about this Mechaheart T Shirt is that the image is on the top left of the shirt (i.e. where your heart is). Unfortunately, it looks like 604 Republic only has this design available on the baby doll style tee, which is mostly for women and boys with a certain flare, shall we say.

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Soul Surfer T Shirt

by on May 15, 2011

Here’s a movie about the surfer girl, Bethany Hamilton, who lost an arm to a shark while surfing, but decided it was a good idea to continue surfing.

Of course, Wikipedia says the term soul surfing cropped up in the 1960s as describing surfing for the shear pleasure of surfing. This was before bullshit billabong surf competitions. Or apparel lines. Or groupies. Surfing for surfings sake.

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A nice play on the Keep Calm and Carry On slogan that was pumped out by the British Government in 1939, during WWII. The saying really seems to have had a resurgence these days, which may be due in part to the fact that the world is starting to rapidly fall apart ecologically and economically. And, maybe the only way to really get a little break from the harsh realities is to play video games.

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Jeeves 3000 T Shirt

by on May 14, 2011

Jeeves 3000 seems to be the coolest robot ever. Jeeves is a name for a butler, so this robot performs the butler duties like answering your door and polishing your silver, but he also cars for your small pets, goldfish and gerbil, makes the food, brings you drinks with umbrellas, cleans the windows, takes out the trash, sweeps the floor, vacuums the floor, puts the baby down for a nap, and walks the dog. Very versatile. Very efficient. Very worth the money, when you think of all the help it replaces. Of course, this thing is not for sale to the public because only a prototype has been built. Rumor has it a servant robot like this will cost upwards of $500,000, so you have to be in the upper crust of society to afford one.

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This has the Marvel comics look and a very mysterious scene. Dude is falling and his bowler hat has flown off and his watch is trailing behind him. Did he jump under his own power as in suicide, or is this a murder situation. I’m thinking he got pushed because his facial expression looks a little shocked. I suppose even if you’re ending it because you’re a financier and you finally realized that you’re the scum of the Earth because you have lied, cheated, and scammed the world economy to the brink of collapse, you may jump on purpose but still have a shocked look because thinking about killing yourself, and actually being in the free fall are two entirely separate things.

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This, of course, refers to the Dexter TV show and the protagonist’s proclivity for killing. Wait, can you call a serial killer the protagonist. This world may be coming to a close if the killer is the hero, but maybe I don’t know anything because I’ve never seen the show because my mom doesn’t let me watch it, because the content is too mature (forget the fact that I’m 40).

Read more on Dexter Killer’s Tools T Shirt…

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Lucky Seven T Shirt

by on May 13, 2011

Among all of the unlucky things like black crow, spilled salt, crossed knives, ominous footprints, black cat, bones, the number 13, snake eyes dice, broken mirror, skull, ripped umbrella, and a ladder, you have glowing things that will bring you luck, including pot of gold, lady bug, Ace of Spades, star, horseshoe, acorn, crossed fingers, rabbit’s foot, penny, four-leaf clover, turtle, wishbone, heart, and a leprechaun.

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Very unfortunate name for this battleship. Very ironic that it got free hugged to death by the most gigantickist squid ever to exist. Think of the ink shots from that thing. Probably cloudy up like 3 nautical miles of water from the ocean bottom to the surface. Is it cubed nautical miles when you want to talk about the entire volume of water that sits in a 3 nautical mile area of a body of water. I’m knot to good with this stuff. Get it…knot. Funny boat joke.

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This is sort of like the handicap accessible issue or the left-handed scissors situation. Society has to decide if it’s going to make exceptions, at considerable expense, for the outliers. Basically, it’s a labor of love because there’s not an economy of scale because there simply aren’t enough handicapped people, lefties, or cyclops to make a production run of special product or ramps, or whatever it takes to meet the outlier’s needs, profitable.

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Come to think of it, those wet floor signs do look like there’s at least a spark between the guys feet and the wet surface, which seems counter-intuitive until you figure out the true meaning of the sign, which is that actually the floor is entirely covered with hot flowing lava. This is what Caution The Floor is Lava T Shirt is really getting at, and that makes it funny and a prime candidate for a purchase by you. Am I right?

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