Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Obviously, this is in reference to Scorpion fighting in the video game Mortal Kombat saying “Get Over Here” when he’s about to finish someone off. That’s why this is funny. 604 Republic has added the “on” so it sounds a little Southern, then goes ahead and makes Scorpion a proprietor of BBQ cuisine. You know, you can’t have a sports career forever, so maybe he retired, hung on to the outfit, and decided to make a buck or two off his good warrior name.

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This is a very cool design. Basically, staring down the barrel of a shot gun, and the tilt of the head by the man with the cowboy hat is evidence that he knows how to use that weapon. So, hopefully, it’s all a little misunderstanding and will be cleared up before your picking shot out of your ass.

Read more on Get Off Shotgun T Shirt…


Libre means free in Spanish, but I don’t think that’s what Palmer Cash is getting at with this tee. I think they’re really conjuring up the magic of the Cuba Libre drink, which is, of course, rum and Coke. This Libre T Shirt may also be a shout out to a nice little island paradise that has many great things: music, cigars, rum, and many sucky things: Guantanamo Bay, Fidel Castros’ corpse.

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I have no idea what this means, but oh do I wish it was true, especially slumming it here in Milwaukee where there’s been 1 upper-70s day since Winter, and we’re rolling with a cold, wet, windy low-40s week.

Read more on It’s a Bikini World T Shirt…


Apres Ski T Shirt

by on May 18, 2011

Not everybody is going to comprehend the main message of this shirt, because it is subtle. Basically, mustaches are power, especially when you’re talking about sexual attraction. The funny thing about the guy on the Apres Ski T Shirt is that this dude doesn’t even know how to ski. He just groomed his mustache, combed his hair, put on some cologne, and grabbed some skis, and the hottest girls flocked to him.

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There’s a shark coming out of the book, which makes this Reading is Jawesome T Shirt spectacular and an excellent message for the kids. Unless they’re complete tards and think that all books are pop ups with sharks, then they’ll just be disappointed when they get their hands on a Roald Dahl book and there are no pop up sharks. Then they’ll feel like they’ve been deceived, crusade against reading, and never crack a book open again.

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The rest of this Star Ewok Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires T Shirt says “Don’t create funeral pyres in the woods. Rebel Alliance Press. Paid for by the Endor Department of Parks and Recreation.”

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I have no idea what this is from. I searched for like 13 hours on the Internet and can’t figure it out. Some game or cartoon or some shit. They get bags of money if they defuse the bombs. The bombs have extraordinarily long fuses. When I first saw this Cartoon Bomb Squad T Shirt I thought it was an old school scuba diver that found out that his life line of oxygen was actually connected to a bomb. I thought it was funny until it stopped making much sense. How would the diver get to the sea bottom without realizing he wasn’t hooked up to the oxygen.

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That’s one of those reel-to-reel tape recorders. Old School for sure, but you definitely get a richer, more gritty sound, which may be what you’re after if you’re a musician that sweats and bleeds music, rather than molding plastic for demographic studying record execs.

Read more on International Analog Preservation Society T Shirt…


Hey, when you know you’re ready to get the thing underway, there’s no harm in letting everybody know about it. You know that feeling when you really have your shit together, like nothing can  stop you from your goals and that the journey will be fulfilling? Me neither, but rumor has it that if you where the All Systems Are Go T Shirt, you actually start to feel like that.

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Wordplay. Right here. I’m tellin’ ya. It’s wordplay all up in here. Too Err is Human To Moo is Bovine T Shirt totally twists around the original Too Err is Human To Forgive is Divine. Or is it Too Err is Human to Err again shame on me. I forget, but this tee inserts a cow, and references cow language “moo” and uses the Latin name for the cow “bovine” so you know it’s pretty powerfully absurd and awesome.

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Another little switcherooni on standard gags. Free Hugs is a good shirt. Free Hugs on the front and slut hugger on the back is a good shirt. But, Standard Hugs Free Deluxe Hugs $1.00 T Shirt is quite spectacular. And, really, the purpose of all these shirts is to start a conversation, and what better way to start chatting up a chick than talking about paying for physical favors. It’s classy and there’s an 87% chance you wind up in the sack, and that’s if you have nothing else going that night. This shirt from Snorg Tees picks up the slack even when your quick wit, dance moves, and fine threads are just not there.

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