Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Wordplay alert. Comin’ at you hot and heavy. Actually, it’s cool and breezy because it’s a fan. See there’s a metal fan on the shirt, but when someone wears the I’m a Huge Metal Fan T Shirt, the first thing you think of is “oh yeah, speed, death, heavy, old school.” And, I’m sure they’ll have an answer and will follow up with some of their favorites: Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath.

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Hey, you have to stand up for something. You have to band together for a cause some time. Why not come together with others that cannot spell. Sounds like a reasonable reason to whip up a movement. First thing you do is purchase the Bad Spellers of the World Untie T Shirt.

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The inseminator knocks up the help and nobody knows about it for like 10 years. Wowza. Maria Shriver finds out and drops him like it’s hot. After a 10 or 20 minute period of sadness, both of them will be back on their feet and going after their goals like never before. Good for them.

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Well, sometimes you have to call a redneck a redneck, and this Redneck T Shirt does a fine job of it. If you watch NASCAR, you are officially a redneck, and there’s no argument. You could have just moved from the trailer park to the suburbs but if you enjoy NASCAR, you are a redneck. Wait, what the hell am I, Jeff Foxworthy? I think both those that enjoy car racing and those that mock racing will both equally cotton to this fine tee from Deez Teez.

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Can barely see these little vignettes of spoilers, so I’ll try to strain myself to read them for you. This is the kind of sacrifice I make for you, my much valued reader. Without further ado…what it says on this Spoiler Alert T Shirt.

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Seems so cute. The picture of the goat is cute. The girl is cute. Nice sweet little shirt. In fact, you may even want to get it for a sweet little kid. But, if you remember a few years, Goatse Farm was an Internet meme. Basically, it was saying do you want to see Goatse Farms and it sounds idyllic so you click the link and the most horrific shock site was there awaiting you. And you projectile vomited on your screen. And cried for two hours straight and scrubbed your eyeballs with soft hand soap to no avail.

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I have no idea how Dungeons and Dragons works. All I know, when I was young my Christian parents thought it was of the devil, and that I should stay away from any kids that were playing it. I didn’t know if they were going to transform into hairy beasts and molest me, or if the devil was going to grab me by the ear and drag me straight to the seventh level of hell, and I didn’t want to find out. That’s why I’m still leary of even researching WTF this Nerdy Shirt -5 Charisma T Shirt even means.

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Party Sub T Shirt

by on May 24, 2011

That sub is the life of every party he ever attends. Boozin’ and fornicatin’ and gettin’ into tons of trouble. But, he always shows up to work on time and is respectful to his gramma, so give the boy some leeway…sowing his wild oats. If you are into sandwiches with drinking problems that are super fun to be around, then you probably need to make the world knows that by purchasing and wearing the Party Sub T Shirt.

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This here is a video game related tshirt, but you know that. Plants Vs. Zombies is the game, and part of the game are these seed packets that have Bloom & Doom Seed Co. on the packaging. Kind of love that title and sort of reminds me about preparing for the real Great Depression II that is soon to hit. More of a bloom during the doom thing there, but related.

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This is funny and perfect for science fiction fans, robot fans, and poor students that don’t want to read their history and prefer to wait for the future to happen before they study it. Do you fall into one of these buckets? Then, you need the Forget History Let’s Read About the Future T Shirt.

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Hedgehog Looking SharpVery cute little hedgehog looking in the mirror and giving himself positive affirmations. Of course, you also have wordplay here, because hedgehogs spiny little rodents (not sure if they’re a rodent…probably not actually). And, spines are sharp, thus this says Hedgehog Looking Sharp T Shirt.

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You got yourself a geeky red planet with tape on his nerd glasses and buck teeth. Thus, with all that nerdosity, poor old Mars doesn’t get out much, so he has no life. That’s right folks, this Mars Has No Life T Shirt is a play on words and a little bit of a dig at the nerds and geeks that seem to have taken over the world, except for the part it’s the cool Wall St. thieves that have really commandeered the ship.

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