
The Muppets did Pigs in Space back in the day, and then they came out with the feature film this year, so naturally Snorg Tees hopped on the buzz train and put out this Pigs in Space T Shirt. Are you a fan of The Muppets? Did you see The Muppets on opening day in November? Was it as good as previous movies and the show? I need to know these things even though I didn’t watch much of the show or see any of the movies.
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I love this I’m the 1 Percent T Shirt. First, 1% milk blows. It’s a watery mess nobody should have to endure. If you’re going to do milk DO WHOLE MILK. So 1% is already conjuring up negative associations, which is good. Next,this milk carton dude is too dapper to be cool. You know how you can dress well and be okay, but if you go too far, like with a monocle, you’ve officially hit douchebag status. That’s where Mr. Milk is.
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Sometimes you just need to pick up a hand-stenciled Monster Truck T Shirt and wear it on random occasions.
Am I right? I think I am. You may not even be into monster trucks or hand-stenciled designs, but that’s the beauty of it. Next time you go to a house party, they ask to take your coat, and you say “of course,” revealing this cool shirt as you hand it to them to throw on the master bed. They’ll give a double take, but not have time to ask you about it, because they have more coats to grab.
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You got your little play on words to that Jay Z song. Might be his only good song that 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one. He might have another so all you haters out there keep it cool. Keep that saliva in your mouth, though if you want some civil discourse on the merits on Jay Z’s music, please put some words down in the comments. Of course, I think his work as 1% owner of the Brooklyn Nets has been nothing short of spectacular.
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You know how they call Washington D.C. Chocolate City. I thought that was what this was referring to. Like the natural progression of humankind was to be all black. Or maybe it was a Black Power statement. But, in reality, I think this Chocolate Earth T Shirt is just a goofy little number talking about the different layers of the earth in terms of confection (i.e. roasted peanuts, chewy caramel, nougat, milk chocolate). Either way I like it, and either way I’m listening to Chocolate City on Parliament’s 1975 album, Chocolate City, because it’s a damn good song. I know there are dude’s talkin’ about Chocolate City today, so to look up-to-date I shoulda referenced them, but none of that really interests me, like George Clinton and friends back in the day.
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“I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!”
Little known fact: Ray Parker Jr. was deathly afraid of ghosts and was totally lying as he sang the Ghostbusters theme song. Sometimes you gotta do things for money that you aren’t necessarily proud of, and Ray saying that wasn’t afraid of no ghosts, when really he suffered from Phasmaphobia is right up there with blasphemy as one of the unpardonable sins. Are there ghosts in hell?
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There is something really pleasing about this Beware of Introverts T Shirt. May be the cool little party dudes with teeth and hats. The one on the shelves rolling his eyes. I imagine that Jungle Love by The Time is playing right there. Then there’s the one that’s lost his hat because he is off the chain partying. Then there’s the puker. There’s always a puker. He’s a light weight and he drank a 5th of Scotch. Bad combination.
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