Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Last Supper Sausage Fest tshirtWarning: Really irreligious shirt. Perhaps even blasphemous. Certainly distasteful to those that believe.

You know, maybe things would have turned out better had they allowed some women up in there. Balance things out. A little different perspective. Savvier negotiations with the Romans. Less betrayal. Different sorts of kisses. Something. Of course, it ain’t the Last Supper if it ain’t the last supper.

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Wonder Bread TshirtI always loved the Wonder Bread logo. Even as a kid that knew it was complete crap food, but I still appreciated the primary color joy that exudes from the Wonder. I think Google scraped some of the bliss from white bread to build its logo mojo. Spread peanut butter. Spread jelly. Spread joy.

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new-mexico-cleanerThis is the kind of marketing slogan individual states pay powerhouse Madison Avenue advertising juggernauts to craft. These things bring the visitors and the re-locators in droves to New Mexico, ‘cuz why? It’s cleaner than regular Mexico. I really love that it says regular Mexico, rather than old Mexico. Gives it an asymmetry and out-of-balance that takes it to the top of Laugh Plateau.

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Fantasy Football TshirtThis is such a Heisman moment. This wizard obviously has serious football skills and his uni tops the charts of absurdly funny. I wouldn’t even need the words for this to make me laugh every time I see it. But, the folks at Busted Tees didn’t stop there. No. They took the inspired art work and coupled it with words that really capture the remarkable explosion of a pretty dorky (when you get right down to it) sports phenomenon: fantasy football.

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cracka, please tshirtYou need to pay attention, pirate. Your parrot is asking for a pleasingly crunchy treat, or completely disgusted with your perceived bullshittery. All depends on the inflection…the paraverbals. Either way you need to act. Get the bird a cracker or get your game together. Cracka, please.

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Rock, paper, metal teeshirtThis shirt comes out of nowhere. At first you are saying, “yeah, yeah, yeah, Rochambeau, that’s cute,” but then all of a sudden hand three busts out the satan sign and completely out of left field you’re laughing. Quality shirt right here. If you dig a setup and serious delivery in your comedy, you should probably snatch up this Rock, Paper, Metal shirt immediately.

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Big Mistake Wedding Cake Tshirt

Ah! Look at the happy couple. This shirt really captures it. It’s all sweet honeymoon, newlywed, lovey-dovey, ’til she shoves a piece into his face and he retaliates just a little to hard. Pretty much downhill from there. It’s like a grain of sand slipping into a clam and after many years, turning into a pearl…except the opposite. Big Mistake indeed.

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Sex Panther Cologne TshirtThere’s this book journalism students used to read called How to Lie With Statistics. Just thought I’d point that out.

Usually, I’m not a big movie t shirt fan, but this Anchorman gem stands on its own. In my other life, I’m in marketing and sometimes words are twisted such that you get into convoluted Sex Panther slogan/tagline/advertising situations. It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but if you just go with the flow it starts to feel good like a Sex Panther should (60% of the time).

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second-amendment-tshirtSometimes there’s a fine line between really dumb and really funny. This one leans just over to the side of a chuckle. The issue of gun control and bearing arms and gun violence and self-protection and shooting Pabst Blue Ribbon cans in the desert is so charged that dropping the absurd on that mess is just right.

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Community College Tshirt bigDude! Easier than regular college. Let’s go. Gives me flashbacks to poetry class at my community college: old wanna be bards rhyming about lost love, young wanna be bards bleeding about smoking and lonely times and a wanna be English professor telling all of us our stuff was no good.

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Dude WTF T Shirt

by on May 3, 2008

Dude, WTF tshirt50s dad, straight-laced and 4-square with the gospel, ’til he gets with the boys at the bar on a Friday night. You can’t see it, but he’s about ready to loosen that tie, order up some cutty and move that frizz-haired gorilla away from the jukebox. Mr. Jones tying one on. Dude, WTF? Don’t worry about it. He’ll still get the kids to water polo practice in the morning.

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Beards Not Bombs tshirtWhat a fine assortment of beards chosen for this poignant message. Goatee-type clever gent. The square-bottom jolly man (that maybe has a pretty serious bad habit). And the pointy, well-trimmed devil-goat salesman, who just sold a contraption to a susceptible housewife. Oh, and beards are way better than bombs. Cheaper too!

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