Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Unicorn: lucky teeAs it says in the good book, thou shalt not covet they neighbors wings. In the unicorn’s defense that flying stuff is pretty cool and a winged horse is lucky indeed. Of course, if the unicorn takes a step back and realizes all that he has: mystical powers to turn spring water into Gatorade, the finest oragami skills, etc., then, unicorn can be content.

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My Marxist Feminist Dialectic Brings All the Boys to the Yard TshirtI was just thinking about her. Such a sweet girl. Full lips. Toned body. And that dialectic making us all tremble with desire. Yes, ma’am, we’ll take that message to the streets. Such hypnotic power, like staring into Prince’s eyes. You can’t go back. You’ll never be the same.

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It\'s All Good in the Hood Mr. Rogers TshirtI wonder: Do the kids remember and miss Mr. Rogers and his cardigan, shoe switchin’, fish feedin’ and spooky as all hell puppet plays? It certainly was a beautiful day in the neighborhood when Fred was smilin’ at you.

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Earthquakes Not My Fault TeeShirtA little play on words. A little double entendre. A little schniggly wiggly goin’ on here on this lemon American Apparel tee. It’s funny. It’s cute. I’m a total sucker for this stuff.

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I enjoy entertainment tshirtAre you in this exclusive club? Get this I enjoy entertainment tshirt and make it known around the world. Actually, I’m lying. Entertainment is the keeping us down. Who do you think decided to make High Definition, plasa, LCD, wide screen, entertainment centers, surround sound? The man. What about coercing Hollywood to instigate the new golden age of television. The man. How about video sharing sites and blogs. The man. Electronic gadgets like iPods and laptops. The man. Game systems like Wii and PS3. The man. Fantasy sports and real time box scores. The man. Digital music on demand. The man. Netflix. The man. Lap dances from tranquilized orangatanges, banana slug enemas, middle-aged accountant porn. The man.

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Muy Erotico Flip Flops and Socks Tshirt

This tshirt hits waaaaaay close to home. That is MY style. And after all the abuse I’ve taken, I am now vindicated, because what I’ve been doing prophetically is finally getting its due. It is Muy erotico!

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That\'s How I Roll TshirtThis tshirt from Crooked Monkey brings me back to gym class calisthenics back in third grade. Not totally fond memories, since my tumbling, somersault technique was weak. It was always a lumpy, bumpy ride with me, like I didn’t have enough tuck and I’d get stuck with all the pressure on the top of my head. Then, it was sort of a crash to the ground. But I was tryin’. On the bright side, I wore the stylin’ short shorts, had a bowl haircut, went to Sunday school every weekend, and let everyone know my farmer’s tan was the real deal, while wearin’ my “vintage” ringer tees with the skimpy sleeves.

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Beeew! Lasers are Fun TshirtI almost don’t want to say anything about this shirt because it is so perfect. It’s like watching an awesome movie on DVD and deciding whether or not to check out the special features. My rule of thumb is, if the movie transported you to another place then don’t watch the features in the same sitting.

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I meet or exceed expectations tshirtYou gotta let people know what’s up from the get. But here’s the thing: you must be able to back this up. And here’s where it gets all metaphysical ==> If you’re wearing this perfectly stylish tshirt with its clever words, then, well, you just bumped up the expectations. Let’s just say the bar has been raised and now livin’ up to this standard is imperative. You may even need to take it to the next level. So, all I’m saying, is KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING when you put this one on.

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Plastic-ware family teeThe great comedic conundrum finally solved. How to properly get the spork phenomenon on a tshirt? And I don’t mean just plastering a spork on a tshirt and calling it a day. This was an issue that required a sophisticated touch, and the folks at Nerdy Shirts broke the code. They killed it. A happy plastic-ware family portrait including a brood of four sporks.

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Volunteering: It Doesn\'t Pay TshirtComing through with the unexpected. I felt almost blindsided with this one. Yeah, sure volunteering is good, tell me a little more and all of a sudden…It doesn’t pay. Which is so literally true, yet a catalyst for many heated discussions with your hand-wringing liberal friends. Plus, you have to love the crossing guard vest and the hairdo and the love and protection directed at each and everyone of the kids, despite their obvious feelings of superiority.

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Land Seahorse Tee-ShirtI took a writing class at Community College and they said to write concisely. Get to the point. Say what has to be said in the least amount of words. Hemingway crashed a plane into a mountain searching for perfect brevity. He’d still be alive today had this tshirt been around in his more trying times.

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