Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

If I’m not mistaken, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, Scot Pollard and Ricky Davis all balled for St. Jude at one time or other, so you know the place is legit and justified in saying they have crazy game.

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on-the-internet-im-a-15-year-old-girl-tshirtWhen it comes right down to it, you don’t know who’s on the other end of those crazy bits and bytes. In fact, I’m actually a cheetah and contrary to a common misconception, I don’t type in short fast bursts. I’m actually a hunt and peck keyboardist. I get it all the time: “You must be a middle-age uncle from Portugal…I can tell from your dialectic.”

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brains-tshirt-modelA brand new, fresh take on the old story. If I only had a brain…to eat, indeed. Scarecrow’s zombie marching down the yellow brick road away from the Emerald City.

I don’t really want to mention this because it’s not pretty, so cover the kid’s ears. But you must know: Dorothy, Toto, the Cowardly Lion, Auntie Em and the dude behind the curtain ain’t looking too good right about now. And the Tin Man looks like a can of tuna opened with a hatchet. The scarecrow totally got to ’em. He, on the other hand, wears the zombie thing quite well.

Read more on Brains tshirt: Wizard of Oz Scarecrow…


Didn’t fill out your Census forms. Didn’t get the warranty from your latest electronics purchase because you hate filling out forms. Refused to go to college because of the paperwork. Don’t drive a car. Live in a house. Use a credit card to purchase food because of that signature line. Well, then, I understand why you might not want to take these polls, and instead would want to simply see my latest Snorg Tees review.

Read more on Snorg Tees: Vital Polling…

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i-have-no-stds-tshirt-modelYou know we all laugh at these fifties looking clip art images with funny out of place, risque quotes superimposed on clean cut guys and gals, but if you really stop and think about it, those 50s people were the original Gs. I mean, who do you think started this whole sex thing, alcohol and drugs, and rock ‘n roll. That’s right, it was the dude in the sweater vest and tie sitting in first class, putting the moves on the Betty. Fo’ sho’.

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lets-get-totally-out-of-control-tonight-tshirtAlso, remember, we don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Pretty much two party rules to live by.

Now, let’s get this party started with some pin the tail on the donkey. What is the origin of this game? I can’t fathom it. Some supra genius dreamed up a disembodied donkey and thought to himself, wouldn’t it be fun to put him back to together again. But after a few serious mishaps with toddlers and the donkeys they stabbed, the safety coalition decided to put it all on paper. Still, three barrels of fun, but the heavy dose of fear and danger is sorely missed. Happy Birthday.

Read more on Pin the Tail on the Donkey Let’s Get Totally Out of Control Tonight T Shirt…


goodbye-elliot-free-et-tshirtET was totally sick of the sniveling Elliot by the time they made the final ascent. And that little wicker basket could not have been comfortable, so inevitably Elliot was thrown off like so much dead weight. This tshirt captures the pivotal moment, where ET frees himself of the heavy load that was Elliot. And don’t kid yourself. Elliot may have been a stupid little kid, but he knew it was coming. He knew it was inevitable. Thus, his half-hearted attempt to reach out. His feigning interest in why.

Read more on Goodbye Elliot, Free ET T Shirt…


Insurgent Chicken TshirtThis chicken has obviously been brain washed. To think that there will be 40 virgin roosters waiting for her in paradise just seems ludicrous. From this angle the farmer doesn’t look like devil spawn, but you never know what evil lurks in the heart of man. This chicken may have every right to blow Mr. Farmer to bits. Who am I to judge? I wonder if the chicken has to, like, run real fast at the farmer and collide in order to trigger the explosive. The logistics, I’m sure, are pretty tricky.

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i-make-over-four-figures-a-yearNot tryin’ to brag. Just want to give others hope and inspiration. If I can be a self-made, pull myself up from my bootstraps, learn to fish success, then YOU CAN TOO! You’ll see it when you believe it. And that’s no lie. Notice it says OVER four figures, so basically I’m in the low fives. Seriously – low fives.

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This isn\'t the shirt I ordered tshirtDag nabbit. It sure burns me up when I get the wrong tshirt. At least Torso Pants has the good grace to send a shirt of explanation when they bugger up your order. Then, at least you can set all the people straight, who are wondering about that super terrific tee you had coming to you.

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blasted-pecsI’m going to keep going to the Busted Tees well, as long as they keep providing cool, fresh, sweet water in my bucket. This is another Christmas in July gem, because instead of trying to impress the ladies with hints about how you workout, you should probably just tell ’em straight up. They’re going to be all over that.

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Free Tibet T Shirt

by on July 5, 2008

Free Tibet tshirt modelYou know what Grandmaster Flash said: “It’s all about money and a damn thing funny, gotta have a car (or a Tibet) in this land of milk and honey.”

What this tshirt is so deftly trying to say is that even when you’re dealing with human rights violations and atrocities, it’s still all about the money, the marketing and the spin. Bumper stickers and tees and sloganeering are not going to cut it. In fact, nothing short of a shift in the universal mind will make any difference whatsoever, and that starts with laughing your ass off, making plays on words and simply having a good time.

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