Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

ben-franklin-rabbit-ears-mt-rushmore-tshirtBenjamin Franklin totally owns Teddy Roosevelt by sneaking in the picture and workin’ the rabbit ears and proving that he has cooties and perhaps even 27 degrees of nerdiness. Now, you can only see this view of Mt. Rushmore in the perfect storm of conditions. New moon. Under 28 degrees. Over 58% humidity and, of course, super-freakin’ high on acid tabs.

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ive-got-black-belt-in-keepin-it-real-tshirtIt comes down to bein’ yourself. Doing what your heart tells you to do. Not takin’ it from the man. Takin’ it to the stage or the street. Speakin’ troof. And, of course, keepin’ it real. I actually can’t wear this tshirt yet, because I only have a green belt in keepin’ it real, but I go to the dojo of realness daily workin’ on my skills.

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freaks-in-the-fun-house-tshirtSo…there was this sunny day in May and all these freaks and geeks, who used to hang out together, ‘cuz they all looked whack in some way or other, like they were the main characters in the latest Palaniuk tome. Anyway, they all decided to go into the fun house, which sat on a dusty lot in the middle of the fair on the outskirts of town.

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the-evolution-of-rock-tshirtThis is funny. It’s almost too cute, but treads that fine line between terrific humor and smarmy bullshit. And, plus, it’s funny because it’s true. From cradle to rock ‘n roll to rocking chair. Ah, the never-ending cycle of life.

Read more on The Evolution of Rock T Shirt…


Bling Bling Seagull tshirt

by on December 14, 2008

bling-bling-seagull-tshirtReally, this shouldn’t be a source of constant hilarity to me. Really, if I was decent, this would be a sad commentary on the environmental crisis we’re up against. It may be convenient, it may have been the next big thing in The Graduate, but plastics are really nasty.

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You know what? Sometimes you have to face the reality of life. The hidden beauty in this shirt is that when you finally understand the temporal nature of life, you become totally free and are able to live a much richer life.

Read more on When Work Feels Overwhelming Remember That You’re Going to Die T Shirt…

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I can never keep these little cavely wonders straight, and I’m sure you can’t either unless you’re some kind of superhero geologist. Thank god someone thought to put the up and down formations on a shirt announcing who they are.

Read more on Stalagmite vs Stalactite T shirt…


This is God’s honest truth. I was just at Cempazuchi on Brady St. on the eastside of Milwaukee and couldn’t of had a more boring looking plate. A white flour wrapper with a squiggly line of sour cream drizzled on top. But, looks are not why you order a tinga burrito in the best Mexican food restaurant in Milwaukee. You order it for the taste and to fill you up.

Read more on Burritos Only Look Boring T shirt…


Bromance tshirt

by on December 6, 2008

There’s no better way to describe the manly love that inevitably arises between men in the sporting context. I imagine it’s the same on the battlefield, and it manifests itself in the chest bump, low five, high five, the butt slap, and the composition of sweet little reminders of how much the other person means (on cute flowery stationary).

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Daily affirmations are big time helpful for achieving your goals, becoming the person you want to be and improving your outlook on life. Want to get out of the caustic, negative, sarcastic rut? Get yourself a tshirt that says something nice about you. Oh, and get a full length mirror that you can look in about 764 times a day just to keep the good times rolling.

Read more on You’re Handsome Backwards T Shirt…

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Fitness ain’t a joke. It’s serious bidness and the more honest you can be with yourself as you’re doing your seated curls, the better results you’re going to get.

This particular sentiment is basically the recipe for a totally balanced life. Exercise hard, drink hard and do drugs hard. Then sleep for 36 hours at a time. Basically, that’s as good as it gets on this mortal coil. Why don’t you tell the world what you’re going to do. Why don’t you get some accountability with your new resolution. Why don’t you get the My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs tshirt.

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There’s nothing more sinister than an innocent looking kid cheating at dreidel. I mean you have to be a pretty sophisticated grifter to successfully cheat at the spinning top game, which means there are well-funded, state-of-the-art dreidel cheating cartels out there. And, that, my friends, is very scary.

Read more on I Cheat At Dreidel T Shirt…