Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

creature-speedometer-shirt
Human = faster than a piglet and just shy of a young polar bear. You adjust that carrot top’s form and you might see him jump a spot or two on the creature speedometer. I mean Ron Howard there, ain’t lookin’ like Usain Bolt if you know what I mean. Anyways, this shirt is more cute than funny, though thinking about the orange guy with a ton of freckless, lining up on his mark versus a turkey to see gets placed where is a pretty humorous mind brain visual.

Get the shirt: As Fast as I Can, which is a nose faster than a turkey tom.

Read more on As Fast As I Can T shirt…

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i-made-you-a-camera-phone-tshirtWhat a genuine, kind gesture. Who wouldn’t want to accept such a thoughtful gift painstakingly crafted from lovingly stolen equipment. I’m thinking that 35 millimeter camera is an actual film camera stolen from the fine arts department at the local community college. And, that cellie from the turn of the century was certainly ganked from the front seat of that Taurus in front of the greasy spoon breakfast place. All of which, just makes this duct-taped amalgam even more precious. Accept for god’s sake. Accept the gift. Or at least buy the tshirt: I Made You a Camera Phone.

Read more on Flight of the Conchords I Made You a Camera Phone T Shirt…

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we-can-finally-stop-pretending-were-canadian-teeHey, things are looking up for world-traveling U.S. Citizens. Not quite as much spit in foreign soups. Less evil stares. People giving pause to the formerly knee jerk trip the American Tourist walking down the aisle. The Bush Rules no longer apply.

Read more on We Can Finally Stop Pretending We’re Canadian T shirt…

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i-monopolize-the-gyms-lamest-machines-tshirtHey whatever…may be the lamest machines, but that dude is hard core fit and I can totally tell because his short shorts are showing off the thighs and the short sleeve polo tee is totally accentuating those monster guns. And, not a hair out of place.

Read more on I Monopolize the Gym’s Lamest Machines T shirt…

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the-only-thing-to-fear-is-fear-itself-and-spiders-tshirtThis is one of those instances where someone gets quoted “accurately,” but either the context is incorrect or some of it was left out. Many think Frankie D. was talking about the Great Depression and pulling oneself up by their bootstraps, getting to work and igniting the fire and passion of the country again. Actually, this was pulled from a little anecdote about how Eleanor found a spider in the bathroom at the White House and FDR refused to kill it because he was screaming like a little girl and standing on his desk in the oval office.

Read more on The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself and Spiders T Shirt…

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friday-12th-t-shirt

Get this Shirt From Snorg Tees

Jason is totally bummed. He looked at his calendar a little too quickly yesterday. Got up totally excited today. Put on his proper gear for maiming and mutilating and just as he’s about to go out the door he passes his wall calendar and discovers it’s Friday the Twelveth.

Read more on Friday the 13th Jason Friday the Twelveth T Shirt…

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out-standing-in-his-fieldScarecrow takes the top prize. Meanwhile, he’s outstanding in his field. Crows are scared. I think it’s because he’s stuffed with decomposing squirrels and not much of any living thing ventures within 1.7 miles of that corn field.

Read more on Out Standing in His Field T Shirt…

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kiss-my-ass-its-irish-tshirtHappy St. Patrick’s Day. Get out there, drink some green beverages, wear some green clothes, eat some green corned beef and eggs, and simply enjoy your Irish ass, even if you’re not of that ethnic persuasion.

Read more on Kiss My Ass It’s Irish T-Shirt…

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quien-es-mas-macho-tshirtObviously, when it comes right down to being a man, this is the most important question. Who has the best taste in salsa music? And, to ramp up the stakes and show your true skill, please wear one of those old time leather helmets like Clooney wore in that horrible movie I didn’t see.

Read more on Luchadores Quien Es Mas Macho tshirt…

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Screw Work T Shirt

by on February 21, 2009

screw-workYou know in this economy, I guess you gotta be thankful if you have work, but still when the bullshit piles up and nothing your boss asks you to do makes any sense, well, it’s time to screw work. It may very well be therapeutic to make this your tool around the house on the weekend tee, unless of course you have a mile-long honey do list, then well, maybe you should just where this shirt underneath your work close as a kind of inside “keep your sanity” joke.

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make-up-sex-is-worth-fighting-for-tshirtPick your battles. That’s what Uncle Horax always says. Fight with the boss to do what’s best for the long term health of your company. Forget it. You’ll never win and if you do, there’s little chance you’ll reap the rewards. Fight to imprison, clawback and disgorge the speculative banking thieves. Forget it. Their guy Geithner is calling the shots. Fight with your cat about peeing on the carpet on the landing. Feline insouciance always trumps human outrage.

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smile-not-wearing-undies-tshirtYou should always really just cut to the chase. Don’t beat around the bush. Obfuscate. Hem and Haw. Just say/ask what you mean. If you really want to know what undergarments the person you’re talking to is wearing or not wearing, simply ask point blank.

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