Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

This is a nice practical joke for April Fools. Very nice. Someone asks you for a sandwich (if your life is like mine there’s an 89% chance that someone will ask me for a sandwich on a daily basis). You act all sweet and helpful and say “sure I’ll whip you up a sandwich and promptly head to the kitchen. At this point I have to warn you, you need a fart chambered. Maybe eat too many roasted and salted cashews or eat maybe one more Viva burrito than you really should. Then, go grab to pieces of bread, put them on a plate and bring it to your sandwich craver.

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Hedonist T-Shirt

by on March 31, 2010

First of all you need to get yourself some learning about what hedonism is if you’re going to walk around with this thing on. Aristippus had some pretty excellent theories, while it looks as if Epicurus was a pretentious douche criticizing the hedonism of the senses, while preferring the social and intellectual pleasures. Boring.

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You thought you had the drop on the guy in front of you. You thought this particular struggle was coming to an end with your life intact and a chance to piece back your sanity, but someone didn’t maintain their post at the back door and now a bigger gun’s got the drop on my shit. DAMN!

Read more on Dirty Harry Make My Day Tshirt…

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Have you ever been in the supermarket where they sell scratch lottery tickets and been behind someone as they make bring their scientifically proven formula for winning the lottery to life. Takes a while, ‘cuz they need a few of these a few of those and sometimes they change their minds because sometimes you have to go with the gut and not be a slave to the system.

Read more on You May Already Be a Loser T Shirt…


It so easy to let yourself get stagnant. Don’t do it. Shake it up. Get out of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself. Expand your horizons. Be an adventurous spirit. Grow yourself a 70s cop mustache, get some mirrored sunglasses and a gray bowling shirt, athletic shoes and socks and two handguns.

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That’s a pile o’ shells. Damn I love this shirt. I don’t watch much TV but when I do it’s usually basketball and drug companies, beer and cars seem to be the top pushers. You know this nation is going down the toilet when “marketing” becomes making up clinical names for common conditions and solving them with pharmaceuticals.

Read more on Ask Your Doctor if Violence is Right For You T-shirt…


Say No To Drugs Tshirt

by on March 26, 2010

Pow! This nails it in one beautiful image. It’s a mix of the war on drugs and being cool with random combat in nations that have no quarrel with us, while at the same time incarcerating a huge percentage of the population for victimless drug “crimes.” Legalize it. Regulate it. Tax it. Boom…

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Of course you want this shirt. You want to show all the fly ladies in your English class that you are an artist. That you’re workin’ it. You have some drive. You have the ability to set a goal and move it toward completion. Almost finishing a screenplay is no joke. It takes some time, effort, and the ability to type, unless you’re going old school long hand, but I’m assuming you are not.

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Even the rice farmer on some remote East Asian Island knows that this blog sucks. I mean, she knows that your blog sucks. Not this blog. But, in your defense, she doesn’t read English that well, so probably isn’t picking up the genius nuances that are creating humor crevices in native speaker’s brains. So, who cares who thinks your blog sucks.

Read more on Your Blog Sucks Tee Shirt…


Jesus can’t deal with the math. He can’t deal with the rigor of hypothesis and scientific testing. He’s a story teller. He brings the entertainment and the drama. Don’t ask him to bust out a bunson burner and test tubes and the periodic table.

Read more on Jesus Is a Shitty Scientist T-shirt…


Sewer Gator T-shirt

by on March 20, 2010

You do not want this creature tickling your taint when you’re on the can. You do not want this gator, even though he’s small, nosing in on the bathroom time of your friends and loved ones. But, and this is big, you do not want to create a panic. So what you need to do is wear this Sewer Gator Tshirt to gently break the news to people.

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Happy March Madness. Celebrating all of the young, active, muscular athletes, gracefully gliding through the air to the hoop. This is to help you remember the other side of the humanity continuum and to keep it real.

Read more on It’s Gettin’ Kinda Hectic T Shirt…