Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

Happy Halloween. There’s always stay safe, be safe messages floating around during this spooky holiday, so I thought I’d add my two cents. You know all about carrying a light on dark streets, wrapping you and your loved ones in reflective tap so you look like mummies from outerspace, and punching in person that hands you fresh fruit in your trick or treat pillow sack, because it may have a razor blade in it, and you need to knock that shit out before it happens to more innocent kids just enjoying their goofy costumes and the dark holiday ambiance.

Read more on Practice Safe Lunch Use a Condiment T Shirt…

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I think my sophomore in high school English teacher just had an aneurysm when I decided to post about this shirt. That’s some bad English that has been printed for all to see forever. What’s funny is that funner is not an easy word to avoid. I legitimately say that sometimes. Do you? I’m pretty sure I haven’t let gooder slip out of my mouth, but that one is a little over the top, which is what makes this Funner is Gooder Than Just Fun T Shirt a lovely addition to any FINE tee collection.

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Man, MacGyver gets a ton of love from the funny t shirt community. He’s always being mentioned in tshirts. Somehow his larger than life ability to get out a sticky situations with elbow grease and a supernatural ability to take common, everyday materials and make weapons and escape implements from them. Masterful. Endearing, and, obviously, enduring since that show stopped airing in 1992.

Read more on Necessity is the Mother of Invention MacGyver is the Father T Shirt…

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Not sure who this shirt is for. If your typical suburban white guy wears this thing, what does that mean. His ancestors came over on the Mayflower to take American jobs, or in other words massacring Indians. Or does a dark skinned person wear this to make people think. Like is this really an illegal immigrant from Mexico or is this a fourth generation college educated Mexican-American that has climbed to a senior management position in a Fortune 500 company. Hard to tell, which is why you have to take into account an individual before you make judgements on an individual.

Read more on I’ve Come to Take American Jobs T Shirt…

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Douche Baggins T Shirt

by on October 28, 2010

This is a straight up slap in the face to the good fun-loving Jersey Shore folk. It’s a bit of cultural commentary that compares these fine people and their unique style to short fictional characters with hairy fat feet. You can see the resemblance to DJ Pauly D in the gelled up douche hair, the douche shades, the douche hand gestures, the douche pursed lips, and the douche pinky ring. The only thing that is really missing is the tan. On this Douche Baggins T Shirt our hero needs more tan.

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Ouch! Isn’t that the truth.We have all been there. I think that I have more trouble with toes, but who hasn’t banged into the glass top coffee table, while trying to wake up your uncle, who is in a black out drunk. He was under the table to go upskirt on the tipsy girls dancing on the said coffee table. I think he got a nice eye full, but he may not remember. You go out there to check and make sure he’s not being asphyxiated by his old vomit and as you get close you slow down because you know it’s there, but the light from the street is playing tricks on your blurry just got up vision and whammo shinbone to the corner.

Read more on The Shinbone is a Device for Finding Furniture in a Dark Room T Shirt…

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This is an exceptionally weird shirt. Lincoln was a bit of a scary looking dude. But, to go as far as a Jolly Roger look with an eye patch. Kind of insulting to one of the most famous and revered presidents in the history of the United States. Plus, you don’t even get to see one of his most creepy features aside from the gaunt face and Amish beard…his overbearing height, especially when wearing the stovepipe hat and those damn platform heels. Nearly a seven footer at that point.

Read more on Abe Lincoln Crossbones T Shirt…

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Dude. I thought that this was a Saturday Night Live skit or something. But, it is for real, and it is awesome. This Vietnam Vet Jimmy McMillan is running for the office of New York governor affiliated with the “The Rent is Too Damn High” party. That’s pure gold, especially since he looks like the black Colonel Sanders.

Read more on Jimmy McMillan Running for NY Governor with the Rent is Too Damn High Party T Shirt…

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I’m of the opinion that what they don’t know can’t hurt them. Meaning, don’t tell people right off that this shirt may not be a one-of-a-kind. That it may come from a very popular online t shirt retailer (Busted Tees) and that thousands of other people may have the very same shirt with the very same design. Hell, they may be wearing it at the very same time, but that would be a pretty extraordinary coincidence, but possible.

Read more on I Wish I Was the Only One Who Had This Shirt T Shirt…

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Shake Weight Revolution

by on October 26, 2010

“Wphew…that’s it!” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s going to kick your butt.

You’ve seen this commercial. Right? Like a pud pulling session except adding weights to make it an orgasmic workout. With nearly 1.5 million views, I’m guessing I’m a little late to this party, but damn I could watch this commercial all day. You just keep waiting for the monster car rally announcer to provide a disclaimer…sure it looks like you’re having an intense lovemaking session with yourself, but really you’re getting ripped. For only $29.95…

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Meal time is meat time according to this shirt. That’s a crazy cuckoo clock with a pig replacing the bird, fork and knife replacing the hands on the clock, chicken leg swinging like a pendulum, bacon as the shingles on the house, and, of course, a ham as the house itself, or maybe that’s a gelatinous heaping helping of SPAM the delicious canned meat.

Read more on I’m a Vegetarian Except at Meal Time T shirt…

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Dyslexic or Hugh Hefner. Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? Am I right? Anyways, this, of course, is a little wordplay to brighten your day. Do you dig? You see the saying is really if life gives you “lemons” make lemonade, but is you’re dyslexic you mix up letters, so what we have is life giving you “melons” and that’s your crazy synapses firing a little randomly, switching the “l” and the “m” so now we’re talking about large sweet fruits rather than small sour fruits. Amazing difference switching a couple letters make, eh.

Read more on If Life Gives You Melons You May Be Dyslexic T Shirt…

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