Random T Shirts

Random T Shirts: If I find myself wondering how I’m going to tag a shirt, it usually winds up in the random tee pile.

You think of Ocean’s 11 and all of the preparation and expertise that went into robbing the casino, when there’s a dude right now that parks his motorcycle in front of the building trots in with his helmet on and a gun in his hand. Goes to the nearest craps table, and comes away with $1.5 million in chips. He’s done this twice now in the same outfit. Boop Boop. Done. Now, you figure there’s 92 guys that will fence chips. He gets 50% of the take and he’s a millionaire. No high tech building schematic computer cracking needed.

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This is good if you wear it if your a very large individual with fat rolls or a fit and trim individual that’s squeezing into a tight t shirt. The fat person shows that he has a wonderful sense of humor and it is a positive message, because there is a god that has a rotund body. The fit person is showing off, but it’s tolerable because they have fat Buddha on their shirt, which makes it funny.

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Snack Attack T Shirt

by on December 13, 2010

Nice little play on words with images here. When you gotta have a snack it sometimes feels like those pretzels, cookies, and bags of popcorn are out to get you. I mean you’re the one attacking them, but it’s like they pulled you to them via psychological warfare. Could happen. You’ve seen Men Who Stare at Goats. I believe that kind of shit exists.

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Gingerhead Man T Shirt

by on December 13, 2010

This Britishism has really caught on in the gool ol US of A I’ll tell ya. What after the Southpark where Cartman hates gingers, then thinks he becomes one, so that he then wants to exterminate all the non-gingers. And, then, the kid on Youtube saying he’s a ginger and pleading with the world to understand that ginger’s have souls.

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Enter the T-Shirt Chamber

by on December 13, 2010

If you like your funny t shirts a little more on the offensive or at least extra dirty side, then T Shirt Chamber is probably a site you want to check out. Tea Bagging seems to be a favorite pastime, and I’m not talking about marching on Washington D.C. with a bunch of fat, racist white people.

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Haikus are full of wisdom and this one is no different. On the surface it looks like it’s obvious and pedestrian, but if you peel away your preconceived notions, all of a sudden this shallow brook becomes a deep river of knowledge. This Shirts with a Haiku They’re Kind of Overrated But I’m Wearing One T Shirt speaks to me on a different plain. Yes, most shirts with haiku suck. They do not impart wisdom and they’re not funny and I acknowledge that on this shirt with a haiku, but I’m going to take the remaining words in this haiku to make some funny happen and deliver the haiku form. Genius. Brilliant. Sublime. I’ve evolved simply by looking at the shirt. You will probably go beyond like Ghandi and Mother Theresa if you actually wear it.

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Gotta like the high tech analog technology and duct tape the National Security Agency uses to  record incriminating evidence. These days you gotta keep on your toes at all times. Anybody could be wired. If you see a big bulge on the chest of your son, co-worker, the pizza delivery man, or your gramma. Pat them down. Take them to the ground if they show even a hint of hesitancy. This ain’t no playing around. The NSA ain’t nothing to mess with. The could put you in a cell to rot for a good long time if you don’t watch your back.

Read more on Please Talk Clearly Into My Chest NSA Tape Recorder T Shirt…

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The 80s were indeed pretty awesome. Feathered hair. Mullets. Pastel colors. Popped collars. Top siders. Horrible movies. Synthesizers. Soprano saxophone. The Cold War with two super powers, instead all this anybody could be a terrorist shit. Pants that sat very high on the hips. Aerobics classes with lycra and leg warmers. And, everything was shallow.

Read more on I Heart Hammer and Sickle the 80s T Shirt…

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SF City Bus Muni T Shirt

by on December 11, 2010

Sounds like the San Francisco bus system is a lot like the Milwaukee bus system, except that I think the fair is twice as much in Milwaukee if you can believe that shit. Again, if you want to look like you know San Francisco. I mean really know San Francisco. You do not get a shirt featuring the Golden Gate Bridge, or Fisherman’s Wharf, Lombard Street, Gay Pride parade or even the trolley. No you get this SF City Bus Muni T Shirt featuring the Fillmore bus running over all kinds of stuff.

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I have a few things I want to talk about regarding this t shirt. One, I heart transitive pictograph verbalizations…you know the thing that started with I picture of a fake heart NY. Think that that started to spread to other locales, then the Internet really took it to another level where artists started adding other distinguishing factors about the place they love and making that the image that represents love. That is the case I’m making for putting this shirt in the Internet Meme category. The convention is quite ingenious and it really does disseminate a lot of information about a place and the people that reside in it.

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Baboons Typing T Shirt

by on December 10, 2010

This is the OB (Original Baboon) when it comes to Headline Shirts. This is like the start of it all, and I know that because this is the logo of the lovely little shirt retailer from San Francisco. It’s a great logo, because when pigs fly and baboons type Shakespearean sonnets, I’ll be out here by morning. Know what I’m saying? Do you smell the literary baboon steak I’m cookin’ over here. I thought you did and if you didn’t you wouldn’t be here. That’s how it works in this big crazy world. Everything comes down to you reading this and making that one decision:

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Seven Deadly Sins T Shirt

by on December 10, 2010

Okay, I guess you can’t really analyze this shirt without pulling out the seven deadly sins and going over them one at a time. But first, according to www.deadlysins.com:

“The Seven Deadly Sins are those transgressions which are fatal to spiritual progress. You probably commit some of them every day without thinking about the rich tradition of eternal damnation in which you’re participating.”

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