News T Shirts

News T Shirts: As soon as the news hits tees get designed in this day and age. I try to keep up with the big news shirts here.

Not that I give a shit about college football, but I had no idea that players got paid. I mean I saw He Got Game when Jesus Shuttlesworth was treated to a threesome with a couple of buxom sorority call girls, but that was the movies. Never in my wildest dreams did I think these hardworking young athletes, who have about a 1%  chance of making it to the pros, and a 79% chance of being nearly crippled by the time they turn 45, would take a little money to represent a university in a sport that generates millions and millions of dollars every year.

Read more on Apparently College Football Players Like Cam Newton Get Paid…

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This is a pretty crazy story. Some huge missile was shot off early today of the coast of Los Angeles and nobody is taking credit or blame for it. Has anyone checked in on the Balloon Boy family? Maybe they stepped up their game, and got into the harder aeronautical stuff for a little mysterious headline grabbing event.

Read more on Mysterious Missile Launch Off the Coast of Los Angeles…

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This probably shouldn’t have happened. The song, Breaking News, is doo doo and the family is suspected of making a fake song to squeeze some more cash out of the King of Pops legacy. There’s a creepy line in there that says “you just want to write my obituary.” No, but you seem to have made that happen on your own Jacko. I really don’t care if Jackson’s legacy is soiled by greedy family. The dude diddled little boys at the Neverland Ranch, so he really doesn’t deserve to rest in peace.

Read more on Michael Jackson’s Song Breaking News Released Posthumously Is Pure Doo Doo…

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My man crush Zach Galifianakis hits the silver screen worldwide today with the movie Due Date. He could carry a feature-length film all by himself, but they stuck some other dude that has a little momentum named Robert Downey Jr. in there too, which is cool, because he’s pretty good.

Read more on Due Date Movie Released Today: Have You Seen It?…

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The cabbage is mad and the tomato is sweating it out looking a little sad and unhappy that the cutting board is his fate. Of course, being from Milwaukee, I’m a little sensitive to the whole eating people thing because of that Jeffrey Dahmer deal about 20 years ago. Can you believe that dude had a 13-year run of killing, necrophilia and cannibalism. He got his at the correctional institute where he was beaten to death, but back to the Vegetables Have Feelings too Eat People T Shirt.

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Everybody has written off the Denver Nuggets this season. All of the turmoil surrounding Carmelo Anthony’s desire to leave. Kenyon Martin acting like a douche because he hasn’t been offered an extension even though he’s been anally raping the organization with his crutches for a large percentage of the time he’s been with the organization. He wasn’t top 5 for worst contracts last 6 years running for nothing. I blame Kiki. Oh, and he’s hurt right now, along with Chris “Birdman” Andersen, so nobody thinks the team can hold it together.

Read more on Denver Nuggets Season Opener: Revenge Against the Jazz…

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Tim Lincecum versus Cliff Lee. Game One. World Series. AT&T Park. This is great. Basically, it’s proving I’m a fair weather fan. Not since I lived in the Bay Area and went to a lot of games with my Dad, who got into Candlestick Park free with a clergy pass, have I really given a damn about San Francisco Giants baseball. Actually, I gave them some passing interest when they were having success in the late 80s, and gave them a glance when Bonds will carrying them on his broad shoulders and fat head.

Read more on San Francisco Giants Set to Grab World Series Title…

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Shake Weight Revolution

by on October 26, 2010

“Wphew…that’s it!” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s going to kick your butt.

You’ve seen this commercial. Right? Like a pud pulling session except adding weights to make it an orgasmic workout. With nearly 1.5 million views, I’m guessing I’m a little late to this party, but damn I could watch this commercial all day. You just keep waiting for the monster car rally announcer to provide a disclaimer…sure it looks like you’re having an intense lovemaking session with yourself, but really you’re getting ripped. For only $29.95…

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You know you have to be a degenerate or a series anti-semitic psychotic to be kicked off the cast of The Hangover 2. Right? Especially, just a cameo role as a tatoo artist in Thailand. And, I guess Mel Gibson fits the bill. He’s a nut job. He’s a raving lunatic. He’s going to hurt himself or his family or innocent bystanders.

Read more on Mel Gibson Booted From The Hangover 2 Cast…

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Cigar Guy T Shirt Update

by on October 20, 2010

You certainly remember when the Cigar Guy hit the Internet by storm for a minute. Well, the folks over at the Daily Mail figured out the dude was unassuming, Rupesh Shingadia. Seems he  was actually trying to honor the “play by his own rules” style of Spanish golfer, Miguel Angel Jimenez. He wasn’t really trying to be a star, but he entered the zeitgeist for sure.  Anyway, I had predicted in my last Cigar Guy T Shirt post that their would be many shirts featuring Rupesh popping up. In fact, I have only found one over at redbubble.com, and it isn’t really what I’m looking for. It goes in an outlandish direction, when I think this subject needs to be portrayed accurately, because of the fantastic humor in the ginger wig, the moustache, the cigar, and the unintentional pose.

Read more on Cigar Guy T Shirt Update…

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I’m am a huge fan of Someecards, so why wouldn’t I let you know about their collection of Halloween Tees. These are funny with their reference to holiday alcholism, cheapness, laziness, teamwork, and attention seeking. Those are the foundation of a good Halloween, so go check those out.

Read more on Someecards Halloween Shirts…

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They’re really selling this thing. It looks sort of an elegant abstract piece and I don’t necessarily think people would think of it as representative of a cum shot unless you told them. Of course, if it was a string of pearls, with the silver in the same spot that would be more of an indicator.

Read more on This Silver Pearl Necklace Shaped Like Splooge and Has No Actual Pearls…

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