News T Shirts

News T Shirts: As soon as the news hits tees get designed in this day and age. I try to keep up with the big news shirts here.

You think of Ocean’s 11 and all of the preparation and expertise that went into robbing the casino, when there’s a dude right now that parks his motorcycle in front of the building trots in with his helmet on and a gun in his hand. Goes to the nearest craps table, and comes away with $1.5 million in chips. He’s done this twice now in the same outfit. Boop Boop. Done. Now, you figure there’s 92 guys that will fence chips. He gets 50% of the take and he’s a millionaire. No high tech building schematic computer cracking needed.

Read more on Bellagio Casino Robbed at Gunpoint…

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Actually, I think Kumari Fulbright is going to jail because she had her ex-boyfriend kidnapped, beaten, and robbed by three thugs. Looks like she got ugly doing some ugly drugs like heroin or meth. I probably should have more sympathy for the plight of this pathetic human being, who was weak, got mixed up in drugs and evil men, but her mug shot makes me laugh every time I look at it. Arizona beauty queen. I’d hate to see their average looking women. Ha Ha Ha. Actually, I think Ms. Fulbright was kind of a dog when she was winning beauty contests and going to law school, so there isn’t that much of a stark contrast between the before and after.

Read more on Former Arizona Beauty Queen Kumari Fulbright Goes to Jail for Being Ugly…

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The red-headed front man of Simply Red acts contrite as he casually mentions that in a three-year run at the height of Simply Red’s popularity, he averaged having sex with three women a day. That’s pretty impressive. Of course, he’s acting very contrite about it now, as the 50-year-old now has settled down with a wife and kid, but it doesn’t seem like he hesitated to mention that for that nice stretch he was rivaling Wilt Chamberlain’s prowess. Good for him, especially since was just a short pasty little kinky haired ginger that sang mediocre soul songs.

Read more on Mick Hucknall Has a Masterful Three Year Fornication Run…

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Of course, Leslie Nielsen’s character in Naked Gun impersonated Enrico Pallazzo singing the national anthem. He was terrible and couldn’t remember the words. It’s a pretty funny clip. See below. And, I bring this up, because we have to bid adieu to Leslie Nielsen as he passed away on November 28, 2010. He was a great comedic actor and he was a Canadian. What more could you want? He’ll be missed.

Read more on Leslie Nielsen Enrico Pallazzo World Tour 1988 T shirt…

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I watched some of that Cleveland Cavaliers versus the Miami Heat game and it wasn’t pretty. It’s like Lebron came back to the old house, where his ex lives, made up a nice sandwich, picked up a few items he had left, smacked her on the ass, winked at her new man, grabbed a beer, and skipped out the door to his younger, hotter girl. Sort of like that.

Read more on Lebron James Destroys Cleveland Again…

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From the Department of Defense to the good people back home. The troops ———————- are ———————- having —————————- a ————————– blast ————————— here ——————————–. They left a couple of inconsequential words out like: “this place is hell,” “not enough armor on our Hummers,” and “what the fuck are we doing here?” This “slightly” edited version gives a good idea of what’s going on in Iraq and Afghanistan without bogging them down in confusing details.

Read more on Censored Document from the Troops T Shirt…

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How would you like to be the dude that actually delivered this blow, even if it was inadvertent? The image that goes with the story on ESPN.com, shows the President walking off slightly in pain, but he seems to be taking it well. A cut on the lip that takes 12 stitches is no joke. That’s a pretty solid shot. Of course, you should have seen what the secret service did to the elbower. He’ll never be playing basketball again, unless in the sequel to Murderball.

Read more on President Obama Takes Elbow to Lip During Basketball Game…

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Now, this is a political shirt that I can get behind 100%. Fuck this! I don’t really care if you take candid shots of my wrinkly, hairy balls, and 2.5 inches of manhood, but molesting me in front of my grandmother, and then molesting her in front of me just ain’t right. This airport security thing is complete bullshit. This is a national security issue. This is the CIA and FBI and other law enforcement agencies working together to suss out plots against the United States and thwart them way before the suicide bombers make their way to the International Airport.

Read more on TSA Don’t Touch My Junk T Shirt…

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Ooh la la. That’s a juicy story. Spurs point guard Tony Parker getting all French on Brent Barry’s wife. Damn that makes for a very awkward locker room, except that Barry hasn’t been there for two years. Just seemed like yesterday he was struggling in the playoffs.

Read more on Tony Parker Cheating with Brent Barry’s Wife…

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I’d be remiss if I didn’t put a post together about this Brett Favre debacle. I mean I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and it’s practically my duty to hang on every word in the media about the allegations that Favre tried to bed Jenn Sterger, and used text messages and images of his schlong to lure her to his hotel room.

Read more on Brett Favre Got Lonely in the Big City…

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Everything I eat tastes bitter these days. I started to really notice it today so I Googled it, which isn’t always the greatest idea. It’s pretty much guaranteed that if you search for information on health symptoms, you’re going to find enough concerning information that makes you think you’re probably going to die in the next 14 minutes of some rare disease or virus or something.

Read more on Pine Nuts Cause Bitter Taste for Days…

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The U.S. is in high alert. The Roman Catholic in the United States is down to only six exorcists. They’re holding open tryouts this weekend to try to bolster those numbers to 122. Thank God. These demon possessed people are overrunning the place. It’s a mess.

Read more on U.S. Catholic Bishops Need More Exorcists, Pronto…

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